Hot Summer Trend: Wool in 100-Degree Weather

Ladies, blink twice if you’re getting sweaty

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JULY 20: Katie Holmes departs GMA on July 20, 2022 in New York City. (Photo by ...
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Feeling Hot Hot Hot

Hoo boy is it a scorcher out there. The weather app I paid $2.99 for because it is “more accurate” says that it’s currently 91° and it feels like 96°. Ay caramba. Weather like this makes you want to stay inside, crank the air conditioner, and eat a popsicle while not wearing a shirt. The last thing I would want to do right now is wear… wool.

And yet. It seems there’s a nascent trend among celebs: summer wool.

According to a recent post on The Robb Report, wool is “a more versatile fabric than it gets credit for” and it’s possible to “look sharp — and feel cool — in wool tailoring year-round.”

I’ve identified at least three female celebs who’ve recently stepped out chunky, suffocating knits that might kill them if they stay outside too long. What are they thinking? In the absence of answers, let’s instead stick to analyzing their aesthetics. Are we truly in a hot girl (wool) summer?

Katie Holmes

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I find this intriguing. This wool Chloe dress the Dawson’s Creek star wore to Good Morning America does look breathable, but the addition of the shawl is one layer too many for my delicate sweat glands. It does look like it would be a great addition to an après ski ensemble though.

Meghan Markle

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The Duchess of Sussex looked like she was going to a wintertime funeral while listening to speakers at Nelson Mandela International Day at the United Nations. In theory, this dress is great for the occasion. It’s solemn, no nonsense, and looks great on her. But five minutes in the sun and that thing is going to be suffocating!

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

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Not only is AOC wearing what looks like a Zara wool pea coat and scarf, but she’s paired it with an all-black outfit underneath. Clearly no one has ever told her that tidbit about black clothes absorbing heat. As a person of growing up in D.C. experience, the idea of wearing this outfit in July makes me itch. That city is a swamp (in the environmental sense), and no matter how “breathable” your wool is, this outfit is going to turn you into a damp mess.

As much as I admire all of these women and their innumerable contributions to modern society, I cannot abide by summertime wool. I will be sticking to linen, but I appreciate the efforts of these women and the doctors who have Botox-ed their armpits.