Harvey Weinstein Caught Pawing Illicit Milk Duds in Jail

Disgraced sex pest Harvey Weinstein is still finding a way to get his hands on sweet little things while he awaits trial on 11 counts of rape and sexual assault in an L.A. County jail. This time, however, it is not young actresses with hopes and dreams of a vibrant future, but a box of Milk Duds.

Variety reports that the candy was found during a search in November following a meeting Weinstein had with his attorneys. The former mega-producer claimed that he had brought the Milk Duds with him when he was extradited from New York several months prior. Unlike Shakespeare in Love’s Oscar campaign, this narrative did not work out in his favor. Jail officials stated that Weinstein had been searched at the L.A. County jail’s medical facility upon arrival, and nary a dud was found at the time.

Weinstein apologized for the incident in a statement to Variety. “This was an innocent misunderstanding,” the Hollywood predator said. “It will not happen again. I have been a model inmate, following the rules and regulations and I am sincerely sorry.” By the grace of god, at least he is no longer misquoting Jay-Z lyrics to atone for his actions.

Getting his Milk Duds confiscated is probably for the best, in the long run. Weinstein is likely going to rot in prison for the rest of his life and then spend the rest of eternity rotting in hell. He can’t afford to add tooth decay to the list of ills plaguing him; Milk Duds really lodge themselves in there!