Remember Hanson? The ’90s sensation is still alive and kicking. In fact, the brothers — Isaac, 41, Taylor, 39, and Zac, 36 — are on tour right now in support of their new self-published album Red, Green, and Blue. They are also having new babies roughly once an hour.
And the brothers still have plenty of fans, even though they are definitely scary Republicans: Zac had to apologize in 2020 after fans found his Pinterest page riddled with racist, transphobic, and pro-gun imagery, and Isaac had to apologize after that for criticizing Covid lockdowns. But they are also family men. All three of them married young female fans they met at shows and proceeded to have lots of kids with them: Isaac has three, Zac has five, and Taylor has seven. The whole family recently got together for a People photoshoot, which you can see here.
Can you imagine having to come up with 15 unique baby names? Not all of them can be winners, and that’s okay. I’ve ranked their choices below.
15. Abraham Hanson, 8, son of Zac. No.
14. Shepherd Hanson, 14, son of Zac. That’s two last names.
13. Maybellene Hanson, 18 months, daughter of Taylor. Cute but points off for spelling.
12. Viggo Hanson, 13, son of Taylor. This is a Scandinavian name meaning “war.”
11. Quincy Hanson, 16 months, son of Zac. Guessing they chose this one because he’s the fifth kid.
10. Monroe Hanson, 14, son of Isaac. Cute but I like it better on Mariah Carey’s daughter.
9. Ezra Hanson, 19, son of Taylor. As long as he doesn’t get mixed up with Miller he’ll be fine.
8. Everett Hanson, 15, son of Isaac. Like Dermot Mulroney in The Family Stone.
7. Junia Hanson, 11, daughter of Zac. Hopefully she was born in June.
6. Wilhelmina Hanson, 9, daughter of Taylor. Model association.
5. Lucille Hanson, 5, daughter of Zac. I love it.
4. Penelope Hanson, 17, daughter of Taylor. Simply cute.
3. Indiana Hanson, 3, son of Taylor. The Hansons are from Oklahoma but that would not be a good name.
2. River Hanson, 15, son of Taylor. To me it seems like all these kids should be named River.
1. Odette Hanson, 8, daughter of Isaac. Delightful!
