Don't Get Your Hopes Up About Adele's Vegas Residency

Just go see Katy Perry instead

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 08: EDITORIAL USE ONLY Adele performs on stage during The BRIT Awards 202...
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Rolling in the Deep Shit

Here’s what I say: Never trust a British person. This country was borne out of that premise, and I’m sticking to it. As such, when Adele went on the Graham Norton Show and said that her postponed Vegas residency will “absolutely 100 percent” go on later this year, I didn’t believe a word of it.

To catch you up, last month Adele announced that her residency, Weekends with Adele, wouldn’t be happening just 24 hours before it was supposed to begin. At the time, the “Rolling in the Deep” singer tearfully took to Instagram, saying, “Half my team have COVID and it's been impossible to finish the show.” In the wake of that announcement, the scuttlebutt was that Adele hadn’t been happy with the design of the show, namely a pool element that she either called an “empty pond” or a “baggy old pond,” depending on which gossip source you believe. Either way, she hated it.

Then there were rumors that she and boyfriend Rich Paul were fighting throughout rehearsals. “Adele’s been crying and couldn’t get through a single full rehearsal for the past month,” a source told Page Six, “Just constantly on the phone with Rich… loudly shouting and sobbing.” But then there are also rumors that the two are either engaged or have already gotten secretly married.

So obviously no one knows what’s going on. Here’s what I do know: It takes a whole lot of time to mount a Vegas residency. Theaters are booked a long time in advance, and common sense would have it that Adele’s Caesar’s venue already has a full slate scheduled through the end of the year. It seems that it would be a contractual nightmare to both reschedule Adele, her entire crew, and whatever show would end up getting booted. (In the meantime, some of her canceled slots are being filled by Keith Urban — chilling.)

And here’s the other thing, Adele doesn’t love performing. She has a documented history of stage fright, and in 2016, she told Vanity Fair, “I’d be fine if I never heard [the applause] again. I’m on tour simply to see everyone who’s been so supportive.” She also said she doesn’t care about the money, but that was before she had a $30-million Los Angeles compound to maintain, so who knows if that’s still true.

On Graham Norton, Adele said, “We are now working our asses off, but I don’t want to announce a new set of dates until I know everything will definitely be ready.” That’s a statement that is just open-ended enough to back out of, and it leaves enough room for her to inevitably say, “It just wasn’t good enough for all of you.” Kind of brilliant, if you ask me.

If you had tickets to Adele’s show and already booked your flight, I have some advice for you. Go see Katy Perry instead. Now there is someone having the time of her life performing in Vegas in a show that is wholly in line with her vision. Yeah, her vision involves a piece of poop that comes out of a toilet to sing “California Gurls,” but that’s probably more fun than a baggy old pond.