Crone Alert: Who Are These People
The 'Vanity Fair' Young Hollywood party has forced me to confront my own mortality
Time comes for us all. One day you’re a cool young girl who knows all the hot young things, the next you’re looking at photos of the step-and-repeat at Vanity Fair’s A Night for Young Hollywood party and asking yourself, “Who are these people? Are these names sillier than they used to be?”
If you think you are more plugged in than I am, I insist you test your skills with the following quiz. The rules are easy, I will show you a person and ask a very simple question: Who is this person? You have until you scroll past the photo to give your answer. If you get every question right, your reward will be my complete and total awe.
We’ll start with an easy one.
Who is this person?
If you don’t know that this is Olivia Jade, of Lori Laughlin college admissions scandal fame, then you should tap out right now. This is as recognizable as these people will get.
Who is this person?
This is Olivia Culpo, Instagram influencer and former Nick Jonas girlfriend. There were three other Olivias at this event. No, I’m not upset that I wasn’t invited, it’s fine.
Multiple Choice Time: Is this Madison Beer or Madison Bailey?
Yes, there were two Madison B.s at this party. This is Madison Bailey, star of the Netflix series Outer Banks.
Who is this person?
This is Madison Beer. You might know her name from Spotify playlists with titles like “Plush” or “Badass Women.”
Who is this person?
If you said, “I don’t know, a member of the Hype House,” then you need to take this a little more seriously. This is someone named Chase Stokes, who is also on Outer Banks. As someone who spent a lot of time in the Outer Banks in my childhood, Netflix is casting people who are too hot.
Who is this person?
This is actress Peyton List. Never in my life have I felt as old as when I looked her up and saw that she has almost 20 million Instagram followers. I always forget that Cobra Kai is something of a cultural phenomenon.
Who is this person?
This is Alexandra Daddario, who is 36 and still being trotted out to these events. If you don’t know who she is by now, I fear it is too late.
