Chrissy Teigen Misses Us

The internet’s close personal friend/nemesis Chrissy Teigen wrote about how much she misses me and our whole friend group (the internet) in an Instagram post on Wednesday.

The post’s caption, which accompanies a photo of Teigen’s legs on a couch, details how the cookbook author/Twitter personality feels to be a part of “cancel club” and how much she misses her 35 million followers.

If you’ll recall, Teigen became a card carrying member of “cancel club” back in May, when Courtney Stodden revealed to The Daily Beast that the model had put in a lot of time and effort into cyberbullying them when they were a 16-year-old in an abusive marriage with a 50-year-old man. In addition to publicly tweeting that the teenage Stodden should take a “dirt nap,” Teigen was privately DMing Stodden telling them to kill themself.

In the ensuing months Teigen has posted a Twitter thread, a Medium blog, and now an Instagram post both apologizing for her past actions and explaining how she feels. The narrative arc of her cross-channel story is that of someone who is deeply apologetic, someone who needs you to know how she’s deeply apologetic and working on herself, and lastly someone who just misses how things used to be. “Oh how we laughed,” you can imagine her saying as she drinks wine in a robe while gazing wanly out a floor-to-ceiling window.

What she actually said was, “Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks.”

It’s hard to read this caption and think, “Do you not have friends?” Oversharing with a following the size of Saudi Arabia is kind of Teigen’s thing, but when she goes on to say, “All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just...tired of being sick with myself all day,” I can’t help but wonder who “you guys” are. You love them, Chrissy? A true, real love?

I’m clearly overthinking this because her fans love her right back. One commenter wrote, “Chrissy, it’s time to forgive yourself,” followed by a Maya Angelou quote about forgiveness. Another wrote, “Chrissy… I’m glad to hear from you. I missed you,” as if Teigen were an old college friend whose life had taken her away from the core group over the years.

Hours after her intimate post, Teigen went on Instagram Live to cook fried chicken with John Legend. I did not tune in, cementing my status as definitely not being part of “you guys.”