Children of Famous People Join in Creative Endeavor

How brave of them

CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 20:  Hopper Penn, Director Sean Penn and Dylan Penn attend 'The Last Face' Prem...
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Daddy's Money

I love the smell of nepotism in the morning.

Deadline is reporting that Hopper Penn, the son of Sean Penn and Robin Wright, is set to star in a short film written by Owen King, the son of Stephen King, and directed by Destry Spielberg, the daughter of Steven Spielberg. Brian d’Arcy James, the son of a book seller and a lawyer (loser alert), will also be in the film.

This particularly egregious display of nepotism rubbing its grimy little paws together is called The Rightway, and while plot details are not currently available, Deadline is saying the short film will “take a deep dive into the world of conspiracy theorists.”

Which kind of conspiracy theorists do you think King found interesting enough to write a film about? JFK assassination enthusiasts? Moon-landing truthers? Flat Earthers? Or maybe it’s fans of the outlandish conspiracy that the oftentimes less-talented children of famous people are all given the key to the secret room where short films get funded immediately when they turn 18.

Getting upset over nepotism is old hat at this point. What is actually getting my goat about this production is not the nepotism, but the fact that these people are all boring. Where’s the flavor? None of these people have the flair of a Willow or a Jaden, the old-money class of an Olivia Wilde or an Anderson Cooper, or the square-jaw charm of a Timothy Olyphant (who, like Cooper, is a Vanderbilt).

The most interesting thing about this band of merry rich kids is that Sean Penn wanted to name Hopper after his favorite food, steak, but Robin Wright quickly put the kibosh on that. If Steak Penn were starring in this movie maybe I could get behind it, but instead it is Hopper, which means that I will forget that this project exists as soon as I am done writing about it and when it pops up at a film festival run by John Malkovich’s niece next year I will say, “Oh right, that thing.”