Can a Doctor Tell Us If Kathy Griffin Is Okay?

Neither she nor we can decipher the results of a scan

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JUNE 12: Kathy Griffin attends the Fourth Annual Critics Choice Real TV Aw...
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Help Her!

It is very hard to get a doctor’s appointment, we all know this. Then there’s figuring out insurance and copays and the hellish concept of “in-network” providers. Basically, if you get sick, you can fuck off. Kathy Griffin has learned this the hard way, claiming that her oncologist has “ghosted” her and now she doesn’t know if she’s sick or not.

Let’s back up. Last year, Griffin was diagnosed with Stage 1 lung cancer and underwent a procedure to have half of her left lung removed. A nightmare! Recently, she had a scan done, but has had no luck getting a doctor to explain what any of the results actually mean. Thankfully she has social media, where a bunch of people who have watched 18 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy and fancy themselves medical professionals can weigh in.

Obviously, I have no idea what any of these results mean. I’m seeing a lot of “normal” which seems good? But maybe “minimal apical pleuroparenchymal thickening” is bad? I just don’t know. Griffin doesn’t either, tweeting that she doesn’t even have a pulmonologist. However, the overarching tone of the comedian’s Instagram comments is that these are good results, with one person writing, “Looks good no concerns👏👏.” Another helpful commenter wrote, “This reminds me of the Sopranos episode when Uncle Junior was ghosted by his cancer surgeon and Tony went on the golf course and gave him wet feet. It's clear what Randy has to do.” Thank you for your input, ma’am.

More horrifyingly, when a commenter on Twitter gave Griffin a recommendation for an oncologist, it turned out to be the same one who has left her in the lurch. Apparently the My Life on the D-List star is not too hot on him after he performed her surgery the same day he was scheduled to have surgery, resulting in him not eating or drinking before doing her procedure.

Here’s a question: Is that allowed? Here are a a second and third question: Do any oncologists read this website? If so, can you please find a way to email Kathy Griffin and let her know if she’s healthy or not? For the heck of it, here is a fourth question: Can whoever is in charge of CNN take a look at this mess and at least give Griffin her spot on New Year’s Eve again?