Beyoncé Pens Nancy Meyers Monologue About Turning 40

Someone get this woman a turtleneck STAT

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - MARCH 14: Beyoncé accepts the Best Rap Song award for 'Savage' onstage dur...
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For women, turning 40 has long been equivalent to the devil showing up on your doorstep. As soon as you cross over from your thirties, you become an old hag who is undeserving of love or children. A few brave women have told us this is not true: most notably Nancy Meyers, and now Beyoncé.

The “Kitty Kat” singer, who celebrated her birthday earlier this month, is taking the big 4-0 in stride, as you can do when you are richer than God and one of the most beautiful people alive. In a letter to fans posted on her website she writes, “This is the first year that I really understand what it means to be alive and to live in the moment.” I, too, have felt painfully aware of "being alive" and firmly trapped "in the moment" throughout this past year, and so I relate to this even though I’m 26.

Continuing on, Beyoncé writes, "Whoever tried to condition women to feel that we are supposed to feel old or unhappy when we turn 40 got it ALL THE WAY F'd UP.” Ok, honestly true, and a great message. This whole letter has me feeling that Beyoncé should take a stab at acting again just to star in a Meyers film about a woman of a certain age (40) who learns to love again after her husband cheats on her.

Picture this: Beyoncé stands in her beautiful kitchen in Cape Cod, savoring a mug of hot coffee while making herself the world’s most perfect omelette and also sobbing. Her wacky best friend (Kathryn Hahn) calls her and says that she needs to get out of a funk. They’re going dancing! At the club, Beyoncé gets flirted with by an age-appropriate bartender (Colman Domingo) who drives a motorcycle, and over the course of a cool 90 minutes they fall in and out and back into love. It’s called You Get What You Give and is roundly snubbed for any awards because it’s a woman’s picture even though people are tweeting, “You know who’s really good? Beyoncé in You Get What You Give.”

In her letter, Beyoncé wrote, “There's a freedom and liberation knowing that I've made it to the other side of my sacrifice. I'm finally giving myself permission to enjoy the seeds I've worked so hard to plant my whole life.” If that’s not what her character says while eating a post-coital bowl of bed spaghetti with her bartender beau then I don’t know what is.