Meghan Markle Claims to Have Been a Huge Loser in High Shool

Two truths and a lie time, Meghan Markle edition:

1. Meghan was an “ugly duckling” in high school
2. Meghan named her son Archie after her love of Archie comics
3. Meghan has watched Mindy Kaling’s Netflix series Never Have I Ever

According to the latest episode of Archetypes with Meghan, the lie is that she named her son after Archie. My personal belief is that all of them are lies, but who am I to not believe what the maven of Montecito says on her own podcast?

As you might know from my colleague Claire Carusillo’s recaps of this show, each episode centers around a specific archetype of woman, which Meg and her guest then spend close to an hour dismantling. This week the trope in question was that of the “spinster,” which, as writer Rebecca Traister helpfully explains, comes from olden times, when women who spun textiles were unmarried hags. But who wants to hear from someone who writes in print? Let’s get to the glamorous stuff: someone who writes for TV. Enter this week’s real guest: Mindy Kaling.

Kaling is on the episode because she is an unmarried mother of two (not exactly a spinster but okay) who also runs a successful empire of television shows that you can binge in one sitting without thinking too much about (slay). Like in any good romcom, these two have more in common than they both expected. They were both latchkey kids, neither of them were popular in high school, and they both went on to become beautiful actresses and media moguls.

What Kaling has to say about all of this is sort of interesting, but that’s not really why we’re here. You can read any of her three books to learn more about her childhood, her late mother, her ascent to fame. You’re here because you don’t want to listen to a full podcast and just want to read Markle’s quote about how she was a loser in high school, and I will give that to you:

I never had anyone to sit with at lunch. I was always a little bit of a loner and really shy and didn’t know where I fit in. And so … I was like, okay, well then I’ll become the president of the Multicultural Club and the president of sophomore class and the president of this and French club. And by doing that, I had meetings at lunchtime. So I didn’t have to worry about who I would sit with or what I would do because I was always so busy.

I am all for believing women, but I also went to high school. You’re telling me that a nerd with no one to sit with at lunch became class president? It’s good that Markle is a podcaster instead of a woman in STEM because the math is not mathing.

Next week on Archetypes, Markle welcomes Lisa Ling and Margaret Cho to her beautiful warm-toned studio to talk about the idea of “The Dragon Lady.” What will Markle have to say about that uniquely East Asian stereotype? Hopefully nothing, but we all know that’s not the case. Her voice is too silky to be silenced!