Adele Is a Liar

“I would never lie to you unless you tell me to” — I did not tell you to

The singer Adele performs on stage during RTL's end-of-year review '2015! Menschen, Bilder, Emotione...
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Rumour Has It

Here I am, sitting in my car, taking out a polaroid of Adele and scribbling “Don’t believe her lies” on the back of it. Like Guy Pearce in Memento, I have been misled, my own naivete used against me so the British singer could have her way.

The only good Carpool Karaoke guest confirmed today that she actually would be calling her latest album 30, following the pattern of her previous work by titling each of her records after the age she was while producing it. Earlier this month, speculation began that she would be returning to this naming convention when the number 30 was projected onto buildings all over the world. I just didn’t want to believe.

Back in 2015, Adele told Zane Lowe that 25 would be her last album with her age as the title. “I feel like the idea of calling albums after my age is showing a photograph almost of what’s going on in my life then and there,” she said. “I feel like not that much is going to change profoundly in me from now on in terms of how important eras of my life are to myself. So I think the next one will probably be called Adele. It will be, I’m not joking.”

She was joking. Things did, in fact, change profoundly for her in the years since 25 as we know from her recent Instagram Live in which she bluntly stated that this album is about “divorce, babes, divorce.” However, a lie is a lie and we must recognize one as such.

What else is Adele lying about? Does she really love wine as much as she claims? Has she been lip syncing all along? Is she really even British? All we can do is wait to find out; the truth will out.