What? Two PrivacyWatches in one week? That's your reward — all of our reward, really — for all of your attentive spying, neck-craning and blabber-mouthiness in recent days. And while we regret we have no epic Kim Kardashian traffic mishaps to report (and eventually debate), we can vouch for primo sightings of a single Ryan Gosling, the renowned pool shark Kevin Federline and a symbolic meeting of A-list and Z-list at one of the city's most glamorous steakeries. Remember, Hollywood PrivacyWatch is brought to us by the letter U, so put "Sightings" in your subject lines and keep those tips coming. The latest installment also includes Kate Winslet, Denzel Washington, Shenae Grimes, James Cromwell, Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick, Whitney Port, Anton Yelchin, T.R. Knight and more.WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 17 I spotted RYAN GOSLING at the Hotel Cafe last week catching a show by singer AUDRA MAE. He was with a bunch of scruffy dudes - sans Rachel McAdams! Ladies, there may still be hope for us all. He looked super thin and was rocking some stubble. Stayed and hung out after the show until some drunk chick vomited all over the bar, at which point he promptly beelined for the door. THURSDAY, SEPT. 18 Just returned from the new Big Wang's in West Hollywood where KEVIN FEDERLINE was holding court around the pool table. The group that he was with was way too exited to be in a NoHo bar with KFed. Lots of hooting and cheering every time he made a shot. FRIDAY, SEPT. 19 Saw super talented and delicious HGTV's Next Design Star runner-up MATT LOCKE at the Sound of Music sing-along. Insert joke about hammering hard wood here. Snicker snicker. I'm walking up Flower street in Downtown LA around noon today walking towards The Standard when all of a sudden TIM GUNN walks out. He looks great, if not incognito. In hindsight I should have asked him to say "holla at ya boy." Right now. A very blond KATE WINSLET in first-class on AA 180 from LAX to JFK. SATURDAY, SEPT. 20 I spotted the USS Enterprise crew member ANTON YELCHIN in Van Nuys on Saturday night at a party at Beer City Studios. He was supporting a friend's band on harmonica and guitar. Much later in the evening, he serenaded the remaining party goers with an 8-minute, improvisational story song about his experience with a "MILF." Also spotted at the party that night was SAM GOLZARI from American Dreamz and 21. He was playing with his band at the party and, needless to say, we were all "Omerized." While eating excellent pizza at Tomato Pie on Melrose, SHENAE GRIMES from 90210 walked past me twice. Petite, cute and NOT ANOREXIC!!!! no matter what the tabloids or the L.A. Times claim. Five minutes later, same place, spotted JAMES CROMWELL with his wife/girlfriend and an unexpected big smile on his face. The MTV Awards may be just a memory now, but on Saturday I actually saw JESSE CAMP, live and in person outside of Cheetah’s. He was accompanied by his wife, and looks pretty much exactly the same as when he won that contest years ago. SUNDAY, SEPT. 21 On Griffith Park Blvd. at the intersection with Los Feliz Blvd. Was waiting for the traffic lights to change, and just glanced in the rear view to check my hotness, and who do I see pulled up to my bumper, baby? None other than delish-o-gay, T.R. KNIGHT. Was at the wheel of his champagne, metallic SUV (not too big). I knew he lived nearby and it was only a matter of time... Was using his cellphone as he drove. Bad man. Needs bottom spanked. Matter of time... At the Aero Theater for a sneak peek of Choke - LAURA INNES (redhead doc from ER) sat just across the aisle from me — she laughed in all good spots, stayed for the Q&A with director CLARK GREGG, looked nice and normal and had no attitude (unlike some other people who flipped their lids over the no-camera rule); also JON FAVREAU was there to support Gregg — someone asked a question about Iron Man 2 and they had a laugh, Favs hung out for a bit and talked to all sorts of fans who were surprised to see him, another no-attitude celeb. MONDAY, SEPT. 22 At BLT Steak: WHITNEY PORT and five others sat at the table next to us, which was fine, she's pretty and all and her manager or whatever wasn't too annoying. But, as we were walking out I noticed DENZEL WASHINGTON sitting in a corner. I feel like he smiled at me when I smiled at him. He is way sexy. Spotted KEVIN BACON and KYRA SEDGWICK in the parking lot at the southwest corner of Ventura and Beverly Glen in Sherman Oaks at noon today. They were walking to their light blue Prius and looked young, cute, and fit. Seriously. At first I thought it couldn't be them, because who is that cute young blonde ponytailed girl? But sure enough, it was Kyra (no mistaking that face). At one point Kevin put his arm around her and they kissed. Genuinely looked like the real deal.

Dog Poop Lawsuit, Settled! Yesterday, we brought you the news that comedian Dane Cook was refusing to vacate the apartment he was evicted from, claiming that if he moved out, he would lose the spiritual influence of former tenants John Belushi and Steve Martin forever. Perhaps sensing that his argument was flimsier than the plot of My Best Friend's Girl (though more original), Cook's lawyers have now appeared in court to state that Cook has abandoned his appeal. He also has agreed to pay his landlord an undisclosed amount stemming from the original argument that prompted the eviction: that Cook never picked up the his pet dog's excretions. To be fair, who would ever expect Cook to be well-practiced at shoveling shit? [TMZ]

Following the recent, violent critical confrontation from which he barely escaped alive, Roger Ebert appears to have adopted a generous new perspective on both his life (Lou Lumenick, forgiven) and his work (The Women, three stars). Nowhere is the New Ebert more conspicuous than in his fascinating tutorial about Creationism, which, he argues in his introduction, "should be discussed in schools as an alternative to the theory of evolution." No kidding? While this doesn't sound like the guy who took down Sarah Palin a few weeks ago as the "American Idol candidate," we know from more than 40 years of reviews that he's a nuanced dude entitled to a range of complex opinions. Alternatively, Ebert's tongue may be so far in his cheek it'll leave a bruise, but a bit of digging by Defamer operatives yielded a series of exclusive, unpublished outtakes suggesting he might be keeping it real. After the jump, we pick up where Rog left off.Q: Why would God create such an absurd creature as a moose? A: In charity, we must observe that the moose probably does not seem absurd to itself. Q: OK, but what about Ben Lyons? A: That's not God's fault. Jeffrey Lyons fucked that one up. Q: Do Creationists believe in the Big Bang? A: It depends on how you choose to define "the Big Bang." If you mean some variation on Georges Lemaître's hypothesis of a primeval atom from which all matter came forth some 14 billion years ago (a theory later substantiated in part by scientists including Albert Einstein), then no. If you mean the buxom, oversexed environment epitomized by my screenplay for Russ Meyer's Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, then yes. Holy shit, those bangs were big. Q: Let's go back a second. You mentioned that man showed up on Earth fully formed. What about scientific proof of Cro-Magnon or Neanderthal man? A: Again, all surviving species and many others were created fully formed at the same time. Of human species, only Scientologists survived. Q: So what are you and I? A: Thetans. You didn't know that? Except for Lou Lumenick; I don't know what the fuck is up with him. Q: And Creationism asserts that we really walked the Earth with dinosaurs? A: Only a few people: Charlton Heston, Sumner Redstone, guys like that. Are we done here? Q: Wait — what happens to us when we die? A: It's complicated. But there are some tapes over there of me and the old lady ouijaing Gene Siskel a few years ago if you wanna have a look. It's pretty prescient, really: C-A-N-C-E-L A-T T-H-E M-O-V-I-E-S... that kind of thing. Heaven's real, I guess. Anyway, e-mail me any follow ups, will you? Neil LaBute is waiting for me.

Today has been quite the day for famous people going on record with their sexual preferences. This morning, we heard the big news about Lindsay Lohan's personal predilections, and this afternoon brought us the glorious news of Clay Aiken's sexual liberation. Well, we thought it was only fair to continue this grand tradition by exclusively revealing to you, the Defamer reader, what team our very own Molls plays for. And by exclusive, we mean "exclusive to those of you not listening to local radio in Austin, Texas this morning." Get in on the action with this evening's To Do's found, as always, after the jump!· CSS at the Mayan Theater. · Cold War Kids at Fingerprints. · Architecture and Seduction at the Hammer Museum. · Brazilian Girls at The Wiltern.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Outside of Orso, Numb3rs star Judd Hirsch needed a couple of helping hands to get his automobile started. The beloved film and TV star assumed that he could make it over to the posh Italian restaurant and back home to his Brentwood compound with his tank on "E." After a lovely meal, Hirsch tried to get his car to start, but it wouldn’t. Hirsch threw his hands up and knew that he had just ran out of luck. Hirsch asked a couple of near by fellas to help give him a push into the street. Hirsch said, “I think I could coast all the way to a gas station. As a safety precaution, I’ll put on my emergency blinkers. But if you fellas give me a decent push, we could make it easily.” [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

We have to admit, we were surprised at how much our hearts ached in the absence of Lauren Conrad - who was sojourning to Italy for some much needed R&R after exhausting her energy crying mascara tears while sparring with Audrina - during the majority of last night's episode of The Hills. But we knew those crafty MTV producers wouldn't leave us hanging, sending entertainment in the form of Linda Thompson, Brody Jenner's mom. You may be more familiar with Brody's dad, Bruce Jenner, a former Olympian who along with his wife, Kris, helm their clan of estrogen-fueled narcissists on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Linda, on the other hand, is a plastic-surgery addled cougar extraordinaire who apparently once dated Elvis Presley. Well, on the show last night during Stephanie Pratt and LC's former flame Doug Reinhardt's maybe-date at hotspot Beso, Linda runs into the couple and eyes the shit out of little Dougie the baseball player's physique. "Are you two on a date? Is that what's happening here?" she asks. "Just wondering!" she shrugs, throwing her hands in the air. We're sure you're just curious, Linda. But this is a woman who scored with The King - so the son of a frozen burrito heir? Ain't no thang. [The Hills]

Joining Lindsay Lohan in declaring today a holiday for finally confirming open, same-sex secrets, Clay Aiken has come out of the closet. In an edition of People magazine to be published tomorrow, Aiken poses with his newborn son Parker and confirms the rumors that have dogged the singer since he belted out his first glory note on American Idol.The content of the article has not yet been released, but some hints can be gleaned about his long-anticipated confession from the Aiken quote teased on the cover: "I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things." Kudos, Clay! Now where's your donation? [HuffPo]

With My Best Friend's Girl abysmal box office performance last weekend now behind us, we've been pondering the fallout of some of film's stars. Obviously Jason Biggs is always going to be known as the dude who stuck his peen in an apple pie. And Dane Cook's MySpace rants have gotten more views than all of his films put together. But Kate Hudson! We had so much hope for you, spawn of Goldie Hawn. Once a flaxen-haired hippie goddess with daisies laced in your hair, your gracefully slept your way to the top of the Stillwater groupies in Almost Famous. And you were almost more endearing than annoying in How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, which we must admit we occasionally watch on TBS when our plans fall through on a Friday night. We thought you might be on your way to becoming the queen of chick flicks, but now, you've taken it too far.How you suddenly went from a cute, perky blonde ingénue to a shrill, talentless flop is puzzling, but we have a feeling the downward spiral began when you took on the gem that was Fool's Gold, in which you reprised your stale dynamic with co-star Matthew McConaughey. Okay, so the film did decently, pulling in $70 million stateside. But it was the film that officially marked you as a romantic foil. You've made a habit out of banking on your hunky co-stars - even doubling up with the Wilson brothers by taking Owen in You, Me, and Dupree, and Luke in Alex and Emma. No longer are you the enticing, independent Penny Lane we once knew who wanted to establish her own identity as an actress. Instead, you seem more interested in raising your dating profile by serving as Lance Armstrong's last blonde-of-the-month. And we're not the only ones who are upset. Your poor career choices have also angered film blogger Jeffrey Wells, who has some harsh words for you:

The prospect of someday appearing on the World's Greatest Awards Show has proven quite the lure to big-screen stars in recent years, who've increasingly forgone the fool's errand of mainstream cinema for the more temperate waters of episodic television. A pair of stories making the rounds today, however, suggests the threshold between the two as a point of no return for those who dare to cross, starting with George Clooney, who yesterday turned down the prospect of a guest stint during ER's final season: "[H]e is not coming back," his publicist said. "It is something he has already done. He is busy making movies." Indeed, Men Who Stare at Goats just ruined your ER series finale. We apologize on his behalf. Meanwhile, Tim Roth is hoping the grass — or at least the money — is greener at Fox, where he's aboard Brian Grazer's Lie to Me, about a FBI-recruited scientist "with the innate ability to read whether people are telling the truth":

Last time we checked in on Margaret Cho's Myspace, the comedienne was opining (as celebrities are wont to do) on vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin — namely, how Cho would erotically "steam up those glasses" should the two ever meet in a voting booth tete-a-tete straight out of Penthouse magazine. Some fans cried foul, accusing Cho of sexism, so she retired to her blog today to push the envelope even further while blaming others for anti-woman rhetoric:

Click to viewBoomp3.com While a majority of Hollywood’s biggest and brightest TV stars were getting all dolled for the Emmys this past weekend, one of the other stars had plans of her own. Grey’s Anatomy star Katherine Heigl, who decided to sit this year’s Emmys out, went furniture shopping with her best gal pal, her mom. Heigl said, “I could’ve gotten all dressed up and walked the red carpet with everybody else, but you know what? Been there, done that. Now shopping for modern Danish furniture? That’s an adventure I’m willing tackle week after week.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Hot on the heels of a philanthropic Brad Pitt, director Steven Spielberg has become the latest celebrity to make a major donation to the campaign to defeat the anti-gay Proposition 8. Spielberg matched Pitt's donation of $100,000 to fight the proposition, which would take away the same-sex marriage rights awarded to Californians this year. As terrific as it is for the industry's straight allies to open up their pocketbooks, we can't help but take a page from homo icon Kathy Griffin and wonder: "Where my gays at?" Specifically, why haven't gay stars like the recently married Ellen DeGeneres contributed to a movement that still lags millions of dollars behind its well-funded, religious opposition? IN magazine broke down some of the other queer power players who are too busy watching Work Out reruns to contribute:

Good news for all of the nerds who've had wet dreams about Hermione since age twelve - Harry Potter actress Emma Watson is applying to college, and she's thinking about leaving the esteemed halls of Hogwarts and heading to the States to get her education! We're sure the rising seniors over at Sigma Alpha Epsilon will be taking bets on who will nail her first while eager potential dormmates list "magic" and "sorcery" as interests when filling out their roommate request forms. Watson, who apparently garnered straight A's in high school finishing exams (Ooh! Sounds fancy!), says she hopes to be a part of a liberal arts program in the U.S. But after recent reports that new student James Franco was being stalked by hordes of psycho freshman while studying at the Columbia University library, we've learned the campus grounds aren't the safest confines for the cream of Young Hollywood's crop.In fact, some schools are flat out rejecting stars for the unwanted distraction they bring to the classroom. Last spring, Brooke Hogan was denied admission at three colleges in Florida when she was told the nine-camera production team behind her VH1 reality show Brooke Knows Best would disrupt the academic livelihood of other students - which is unfortunate, as she clearly needs the education. At the University of Southern California, the fine institution from which I recently graduated, there were many "star" students. Freshman year, Lee Thompson Young, vaguely known for his starring role on Disney's long-lost series The Famous Jett Jackson, was constantly ridiculed for his penchant for wearing exclusively all-white ensembles around campus ... classy. When Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos was boning Paris, girls used to flock to his English classes in the hopes of impressing him with their knowledge of Kafka. And rumor had it that David Gallagher, who played that goody-two-shoes with a bowl cut Simon from 7th Heaven, was a huge stoner who shacked up with a stripper in a house off campus. Point being: Hermione - no matter what you do, you're probably screwed.

Are You Mick Jagger? SAG Has Your Money: A recent scan by Sharon Waxman of the Screen Actors Guild's Web site yielded the only slightly staggering discovery that the union is holding more than $25 million in unclaimed funds for almost 67,000 members. The majority is dead (Katherine Hepburn, John F. Kennedy, Buster Keaton), but no small number is still alive and working, including Michael Douglas, Mick Jagger, Patrick Dempsey and even Eric Bogosian — who last week was elected to SAG's board, making its official "we can't find these people" excuse all the more baffling. On the bright side, Assaf Cohen is on his way. Changes will be made! [WaxWord]

Click to viewBoomp3.com At an event honoring President Abraham Lincoln, highly respected actress Joan Allen was shocked that somebody wanted her autograph. Allen had always been proud of her work and the positive praise she receives from the community of film critics, but she never thought her work would reach the autograph seeking masses. The Ice Storm actress said, “Some of the critics will ask for my signatures, but this has to be the first time somebody who’ll probably sell it on eBay. Maybe my husband will buy it.” The autograph seeker offered another opinion on the situation. The seeker said, “I was really surprised to see somebody famous at this event. So I asked her to sign the nearest thing I had, my high school yearbook. Don’t know if I’ll sell it though. Estelle Parsons told me to stay sweet.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Is David Blaine a big cheater or what? The droopy-eyed "magician" is currently engaged in his latest stunt, hanging upside down for 60 hours in Central Park. Except that ever since he started yesterday afternoon, we've been getting emails from bystanders saying that he wasn't hanging upside down—instead, he was resting by standing on a platform, only to be hoisted up several minutes later. We don't know the official explanation, but whatever it is, this sure is a crappy stunt. Here's photographic evidence:
6:45 p.m. yesterday:

While most of the filmgoing world probably wouldn't have minded seeing Kate Winslet compete against herself for a Best Actress Oscar next February (at this point we'd do anything to improve her odds), we'd sacrifice that opportunity if it means we get to witness and/or feel the seismic power struggle rocking Winslet's war-crime period piece The Reader. It was about a month ago that Harvey Weinstein cited positive test screenings and a Winslet Oscar push while moving the film's release date up to 2008; alas, as we anticipated, co-producer Scott Rudin probably heard the news right around the same time we did. The resulting squabble can be seen from outer space, but thankfully we've wrangled a closer vantage point than that. We handicap the bloody duel and predict our winner after the jump.HISTORY: Rudin and Weinstein last clashed when Paramount sold Miramax the international rights to The Hours, also helmed by Reader director Stephen Daldry. Everything was fair game to Harvey — Nicole Kidman's prosthetic nose, Philip Glass's score, final cut — and the drama is generally blamed for costing The Hours its Venice Film Festival premiere. But it worked: Kidman won, Glass was nominated, and the $25 million film did more than $108 milion worldwide. EDGE: Even. PRAGMATICS: Whatever version of The Reader test audiences saw last month in New York wasn't the final cut; we hear it's still at least a month away, which plunks cash-strapped Harvey in a late-December marketing and release-date dilemma. Not that he gives a shit just as long as he has an actress to threaten suicide over, but Rudin does care, as well he should — he has Winslet's other Oscar bait, Revolutionary Road, opening Dec. 26 (not to mention Doubt on Dec. 12). EDGE: Rudin. CLOUT: Rudin may be the incumbent Best Picture winner, but he shares co-producing credit on The Reader with the late Sydney Pollack and Anthony Minghella — the latter of whom was on the very short list of Harvey BFF's before he died last spring. Depending on how the duo's Mirage successors play along, Harvey has enough political juice to hold out for his way. EDGE: Weinstein. MONEY: Weinstein did nicely with Vicky Cristina Barcelona, but not well enough to bet the house on Reader, Shanghai and The Road within a month of each other. And that's not counting the Oscar push, which the Mirage gang will want done right or not at all. EDGE: Rudin. OSCARS: Rudin has Harvey's ex-Miramax miracle workers at his disposal in New York, but even if Winslet is stronger in The Reader, she'll win or lose based on the campaign that DreamWorks mounts for Revolutionary Road. Harvey's cheap ass is counting on the subsequent comparisons, of course — even he doesn't know if he'll be around to pay his own way next year. That strategy might work for Kevin Smith films, but it won't work here. EDGE: Rudin. WINNER: Scott Rudin. The Reader — coming in 2009 to a theater near you!

Since her new, critically reviled remake of The Women pivots on the plot device of an unfaithful husband, Meg Ryan has decided to mouth off on similar rumors that plagued the dissolution of her marriage to actor Dennis Quaid. Ryan's affair with Proof of Life costar Russell Crowe had been blamed for the divorce — an allegation the actress once took right on the kisser. Now, speaking to InStyle, Ryan points the finger at Quaid's infidelity, an accusation that will surely plump the issue up to new levels:

Click to viewBoomp3.com Star Wars star Ewan McGregor practiced using another force on Monday afternoon as he used the hose to clean his own automobiles. The Scottish actor has always held a great deal of apprehension about having his cars cleaned by professionals. McGregor said, “This was back in London and quite a while ago. However, it still doesn’t change my belief about car washes in general. I took my car in and somebody nicked my Blur CDs. Ever since then, don't trust the ruffians who work there.” McGregor then added that it was a risk he was not willing to take and so, every two to three weeks, he gets out the shamwows, hoses and buckets and goes to town. McGregor added, “There’s no better feeling than doing it for yourself. If I do a good job, the old wifey may tip the best way possible, if you know what I mean.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

· Sarah Jessica Parker's long-refrigerated, "racially charged" drama Spinning Into Butter has finally found theatrical distribution after a nearly three-year wait, thus unleashing the imaginations of critics everywhere who will smirkingly suggest lower-calorie alternatives for their own sake. [THR] · Lexus TV will soon debut online with an original series starring Lisa Kudrow as a "nutty shrink." Matt LeBlanc will co-star as a luxury SUV bequeathed from a husband to his wife one snowy, magical Christmas morning. [THR] After the jump: Uni courts the 'Works, Keira does Zelda, and the NFL sacks the Emmys.· Universal and Disney are reportedly the last studios standing in the DreamWorks distribution sweepstakes — if that's what you call a pitiful 8% distribution fee. Even the friggin' tooth fairy pays better than 8%. [THR] · Contrary to rumors circulating Hollywood this morning, Kim Kardashian's accident-scene etiquette will not be the basis for the planned remake of Akira Kurosawa's classic Rashomon [Variety] · Keira Knightley will bravely roll the dice in a period film for a change, attaching herself to play the stroppy Zelda Fitzgerald in Nick Cassavetes's adaptation of The Beautiful and the Damned. [THR] · The Emmy hangover continues: Sunday night's NFL matchup outrated the Emmycast by more than 8 million viewers. Perhaps Al Michaels and John Madden can host next year. [Variety]