defamer

If You Can't See 'Synecdoche,' There's Always 'Supernanny'

McCluskey and Miller · 10/24/08 06:30PM

Welcome back to the Friday night television wasteland. If you make the mistake of foregoing the ArcLight's Synecdoche, New York showings, then toast up some Hot Pockets and hit the sofa. WATCH Curb Your Enthusiasm [11 PM, HBO] - Celebrate the 7th season pickup with one of the best episodes from last season. In it, everyone in the house is pissed off over a slow toaster and Larry insults a woman's rodent-looking dog and eventually invites his exterminator to a middle school production of Grease. If only our fully improvised lives were this full of comical annoyances.

Your Weekend Of Sedaris

Seth Abramovitch · 10/24/08 06:20PM

Friday · Eliza Gilkyson plays McCabe's, Frank Stallone (yes, Frank Stallone!) is at the Whisky A Go Go, and Foreigner (yes, Foreigner!) is at the House of Blues. · David Sedaris will appear at the Long Beach Terrace Theater, and will be available after the reading for haircuts. · Nightspot at the Dorothy Chandler Pavillion is a Miami City Ballet collaboration between Twyla Tharp and Elvis Costello.Saturday · Mountain Goats and Kaki King are at the Troubadour, Civet is at the Knitting Factory, and Flogging Molly are at the Palladium. · The 11th annual Monster Massive dance music festival is at the LA Sports Arena, with sets by Paul Van Dyk, Felix Da Housecat, Judge Jules, Steve Lawler, Markus Schulz, DJ Reza, and LTJ Bukem. · The Louise Bourgeois retrospective at MOCA is having its members' opening party. Sunday · The Death Set play The Echo, and "maverick organist" Cameron Carpenter plays Royce Hall. · "America's $1 Funnyman" Neil Hamburger brings his show to Spaceland. · We'll see you at Synecdoche.

Our 'Commenters of the Week' Win A Date With Gary Busey's Dog

Kyle Buchanan · 10/24/08 06:09PM

It's time for Comments of the Week, and boy, do we have a prize for our five finest wits. We've managed to secure an intimate evening for each of you with Gary Busey's dog! We warn you, though: while Snowball doesn't eat much, he likes to stay up late and bark a lot about nothing in particular. Now, on to the comments! · scroll_lock on CAA's Bryan Lourd to Carrie Fisher: 'Your Codeine Made Me Gay': "This is just like the time I OD'ed on St. Joseph's Baby Aspirin and woke up as Rip Taylor. Confetti is a bitch to vacuum up." · Old No.7 on Samuel L. Jackson on Obama: 'Nobody Wants to See an Angry Black Man': "Nobody wants to see an angry black man? Then explain why Whoopi is so popular on The View."· NoWireHangers on Lesbian Starlet Supply Tainted By Roosevelt's Corpse-Water Pool: "Oh please, a corpse is no worse than what's usually in that pool." · OldTowneTavern on Toronto 30 Rock Ad Interrupted By Porn: "Nancy Cottenden [said], 'We acted very fast to get it off.' My, my but those Canadians are some truth telling people." · Scrumptrulescent on Watch Joe Biden Dunk Elaine On America's #1 Married-Lesbian Talk Show: "We all know Ellen would have hit it on the first throw." Congratulations to this week's top five!

Seth Abramovitch · 10/24/08 05:50PM

20 CCs Of Cuteness Stat. Because today has been an incredibly depressing Friday, we thought we'd offer a much needed injection of induced happiness, in the form of these photos of a baby deer and baby panda. We hope they help. (But please don't rush out and adopt a deerpie. They get really big really fast and crap all over the house.) [vainglorious, Daily Mail]

Fake 'Flash' Teaser Ruins New Comic Franchise Before it Begins

STV · 10/24/08 05:34PM

Dear Flash Fans: We heard Warner Bros. and DC Comics are preparing your favorite comic book for a live-action adaptation to be released in 2010. Congratulations! Until then, why not leave the filmmaking to the professionals and quit trying to set off the Web with dorm-room exercises masquerading as official teasers? Your mastery of Windows MovieMaker is impressive, but seriously, enough. This goes for you and you in particular, but maybe not so much you, with your adorable "HEROE" [sic] typo and TV outtakes. Thanks! xo, Defamer (PS: On the off chance that Warners/DC actually does have anything to do with this, viral marketing only works when the movie looks good. Demand helps as well. Toodles!)

Seth Abramovitch · 10/24/08 05:11PM

Tragedy In Chicago. Jennifer Hudson's mother was found shot to death just hours ago in her Chicago home along with another man, which TMZ is identifying as her brother Jason, in what authorities are calling a "domestic" shooting. UPDATE: Now a 7-year-old nephew is reportedly missing, and police are searching for someone named William Balfour, who had lived in Hudson's mother's house in the past year. [CBS2Chicago]

Weirdo Auteur Disappoints Fans With Lack Of Weirdness

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/24/08 04:59PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Eastern Promises director David Cronenberg disappointed a few fans at the Rom Film Festival on Friday afternoon. The group of film fanatics have been following Cronenberg’s career since Scanners, and were expecting more out of the Canadian legend. One fan said, “I thought he was going to be a lot weirder, but he seems like a normal guy.” Another fan added, “We knew we wouldn’t see any exploding heads or people turning into bugs, but maybe a lil’ fake blood spray?” [Photo Credit: Splash Pic] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Bastard Son of 'Cheers' Alum Wears Bra on 'Today' Because, Why Not?

Kyle Buchanan · 10/24/08 04:41PM

We've heard of casual Fridays and we certainly treasure the last day of the work week as a time to let loose, but rarely have we seen both concepts mixed with such bizarre fervor as they were on this morning's Today show. After striking pay dirt with Marcia Brady's syphilis stories this month, producers dug up another, pre-TiVo relic: Jay Thomas. The actor (who played Carla's husband Eddie on Cheers) and his son John were on the show to discuss how the former gave the latter up for adoption twenty years ago. These days, though, John is the lead singer in a band, and in a bit of bald self-promotion, he stripped off his t-shirt and finished out the segment wearing a bra. As one does. Nice try, John, but you'll have to work a little harder to top the image of our potential next VP attempting to drown Elaine to win the daytime surreality sweepstakes.

Why Not to Miss 'Synecdoche, New York,' The Best Film of 2008

STV · 10/24/08 04:10PM

Charlie Kaufman's directing debut Synecdoche, New York is the most inaccessible, challenging, infuriating, stupefying, heartbreaking film of 2008. It's also the best American movie we've seen this year, and as noted here this morning, it's required viewing this weekend for anyone who wants to be on our good side. Or history's good side, for that matter — and here are five reasons why.1. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Period. When we called our shot for Brad Pitt as the likely winner in a crowded Best Actor field, we hadn't yet seen Hoffman as Caden Cotard, a Schenectady, N.Y., regional theater director at odds with his painter wife Adele (Catherine Keener) and his own chronically afflicted body. When Adele and his young daughter leave him for new, famous lives in Berlin, Caden spends the next 30 years funneling a Macarthur "genius" grant into staging his masterpiece: A city within a city, populated by himself, his doppelganger (Tom Noonan), his doppelganger's doppelganger and those of the people closest to him. Yet nobody and nothing is as close to Caden as his own admitted psychosis, the layers of which collapse onto and into each other in scene after scene. Sounds great, right? Except, well, it is. Portraying a man vexed by doctors, lovers, work and ultimately himself (aging decades in the process), Hoffman digs into an adventure of suffering as ludicrous as it is bittersweet. In one crucial scene when the hunt for his estranged daughter takes him to Berlin, what little interaction they have both validates and fetishizes his paranoia — just one of dozens of metaphysical stunts that make Hoffman's performance thrilling and really kind of inspiring. He not only gets but owns all this mindbending melancholy, and for the maybe first time ever, we felt like we had a guide in our tumble down the Kaufman rabbit hole. 2. Six extraordinary roles for women. Starting with Samantha Morton as Caden's theater receptionist-turned-lover-turned-right-hand Hazel (and then Emily Watson as the woman who depicts her in his play), Synecdoche features enough dynamic parts for actresses to fill its own Oscar category. Michelle Williams and Dianne Wiest contribute brilliant turns as Caden's second wife and fourth doppelganger, respectively, but Hope Davis walks away with her scenes as arguably the world's worst couples therapist: 3. Charlie Kaufman gets to be Charlie Kaufman. Like director and former collaborator Michel Gondry, whose screenwriting debut Science of Sleep found a grandly ambitious balance of theory and technique that slipped through the twee seams of their Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Kaufman and his vision seem more potent and personal on their own. (Don't get us started about his overrated work with Spike Jonze.) It's another nifty trick under the circumstances; as Manohla Dargis alludes to in her fantastic NYT review, an opus about failure is itself a staggering creative success that took decidedly less than a lifetime to make. And for better or worse, it can happen to you. Maybe not the part about bedding Michelle Williams, but that never ends well anyway. 4. Hazel lives in a house on fire. Why? Kaufman professes not to know, but it makes already great scenes (and a classic, climactic bit of dark humor) altogether memorable. 5. Adele Lack's paintings. The square-inch canvases on display through the weekend at the Montalban Gallery are too absurdly small to require the paint-spattered basement workshop where Keener's character composes them, but we think their clues to Caden's past, present and future symbolize the rewards viewers earn for accepting an artist's challenge. Sound familiar? Like so much of the rest of Synecdoche, New York, it really is your life. We'd sincerely hate to see you miss it.

Friars Roast-Crashing Tom Cruise Reunited with Glib Tormentor Matt Lauer

Kyle Buchanan · 10/24/08 03:40PM

If Brooke Shields and Tom Cruise could patch things up after Cruise called her a pseudoscience-worshiping devil-thetan incubator (we're paraphrasing), then surely, we thought, Cruise and Matt Lauer could eventually let bygones be bygones. You may remember how the actor and anchorman tussled back in 2005 when Cruise accused Lauer of not personally, personally understanding either Ritalin, postpartum depression, or why the son survived in War of the Worlds. Now, we hear, the Friars Club Roast of Lauer that just concluded in New York featured a surprise, couch-jumping guest. Says KTU reporter Paul Westcott:

Why is Sony Burying its Glossy New Anne Hathaway Thriller?

STV · 10/24/08 02:55PM

Did you know Anne Hathaway's new movie Passengers opens today? You might if you follow Defamer Attractions, but the paranormal thriller is a no-show in virtually every other corner of media except for 165 ill-publicized screens around the country. The trailer online won't dazzle anyone, either, but still: Isn't Anne Hathaway (not to mention her co-star Patrick Wilson) kind of... big right now? What are its backers at Sony thinking?If or when they ever respond to our requests for comment, we'll let you know. Meanwhile, the obvious speculation that Passengers — about a grief counselor (Hathaway) whose plane-crash-surviving patient (Wilson) develops extra-sensory powers — was never intended as anything more than a DVD-ready, straight-to-Flopz™ enterprise doesn't quite explain treating a Hathaway vehicle this way. However aromatic, could it really be any worse than the Lindsay Lohan stillbirth I Know Who Killed Me, which Sony unloaded last year on a relatively extravagant 1,300 screens? Hathaway's profile alone could open at least that many — maybe not this weekend, opposite Saw V, and maybe not even this month, but surely some time this fall, and at a much better per-screen average that IKWKM's pathetic $2,656. In fairness to Sony, though, Passengers from the start was not an especially promotable film. And not just because it looks terrible: Neither Hathaway (who went straight from publicizing Get Smart to handling Rachel Getting Married in July and August, dragging her FollieriGate baggage all the way) nor Wilson (finishing Watchmen and jumping to Broadway) would have been around to promote it, and it doesn't look like something generally non-hacky director Rodrigo Garcia would be especially proud of on his own. And while we're hypothesizing, why not lob a conspiracy theory: What if the Sony Pictures Classics gang, which has an Oscar nod all but cinched for Hathaway for Rachel, made an appeal to the mothership to keep Passengers buried where Academy voters couldn't find it? Call it "Operation Norbit," named after Paramount's botched Eddie Murphy supporting-actor campaign in '06 — highly unlikely, but certainly no weirder than not knowing Anne Hathaway's new movie opened today.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Will Not Negotiate With Terrorists (Including Joy Behar)

Kyle Buchanan · 10/24/08 02:35PM

There's a blissful, View-free weekend coming up (well, except for Floridians), but until then, we leave you with this clip of an undaunted Elisabeth Hasselbeck locking horns with Whoopi Goldberg on today's show. The conservative co-host challenged Goldberg about the folly of negotiating with terrorists (a position we're sure she came to after the unilateral talks between her and Joy Behar collapsed spectacularly backstage). Instead, Hasselbeck embraced a brand of conflict resolution no doubt passed on by benevolent dictator Barbara Walters: no negotiations (or hugs), just a simple cold shoulder, a passive-aggressive remark, and a threatening, late-night phone call from someone who sounds a whole lot like Henry Kissinger.

Free Hugs From Charlize Theron

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/24/08 02:05PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com After another down day on the stock market across the globe, Academy Award winner Charlize Theron set up a booth outside of the Roosevelt Hotel to hand out free hugs to anyone recently affected by the downslide. Theron said, “In times like these, sometimes a hug will help you get through the day. I could tell them to hang in there and that things will work out in the long run, but a hug I feel is just as good.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Times Square Set For Election Night JumboTron-Off

Seth Abramovitch · 10/24/08 01:45PM

· TV networks are going bananas with their election night coverage, including competing Times Square broadcasts: ABC on the JumboTron, Fox News on the AstroVision monitor, and MSNBC on the OlbermannGiantForeheadSonic. [Variety] · Rejoice virginal fantasy nerds! Columbia is producing a movie of Deryni Rising, the first book in the Deryni Kingdom cycle— a series set "in a medieval kingdom...of people with psychic and magical abilities." [THR] · Exquisite weirdo Crispin Glover has joined the cast of Tim Burton's motion-capture Alice in Wonderland. He'll play the Knave of Hearts, on trial for tart-stealing treason. [THR] After the jump: Which of the two men to play Mike Brady is joining the cast of Entourage?· If Gary Cole could go ahead and join the cast of Entourage for three episodes, playing Ari's "oldest Hollywood friend," that'd be great. All right! [THR] · Now Paramount is negotiating with Chris Columbus to star in Ripley’s Believe It or Not!, which is still set to star Jim Carrey...Believe It or Not! [Variety]

'Cleo' Unites A-LIst Talent For World's Finest Batshit 3-D Musical

STV · 10/24/08 01:20PM

It's long been rumored that Steven Soderbergh keeps a checklist in his wallet — a tattered index card on which he's scrawled dreams nurtured since before his sex, lies and videotape breakthrough nearly 20 years ago: "win an Oscar," "make a four-hour Socialist biopic," "work with a porn star," and alllll the way at the bottom, "shoot a completely fucked-up 3-D musical version of Cleopatra." Finally, with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Hugh Jackman in talks to star, he might be that much closer to crossing off that last Impossible Dream.Variety reports that Soderbergh will follow his current film The Girlfriend Experience with Cleo, a $30 million project with music provided by Guided By Voices and a script by GBV's bassist James Greer. No one seems to know how or even if this news squares with the Liberace biopic Soderbergh is plotting with Michael Douglas and Matt Damon, but we admit we're a little less intrigued by Cleo knowing that Jackman would not, in fact, play the Egyptian queen. And surely, in a sleek, dark loft somewhere in Australia, a sleepless Baz Luhrmann is wondering why he didn't think of this first.

Tracy Morgan Wants to Take Prince Behind a Middle School and Get Him Pregnant

Kyle Buchanan · 10/24/08 01:02PM

Though 30 Rock star Alec Baldwin never fails to give good interview, we still have to give the edge to his costar Tracy Morgan, who is unafraid to tear off his shirt and make romantic entreaties to every lady in El Paso if that's what the situation requires. Now, in an interview with the November issue of Complex, Morgan extends his press tour winning streak with a graphic ode to what he would do to Prince if the singer veered more toward the distaff side of his own love symbol:

Dudes' Night Out!

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/24/08 12:26PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Sherlock Holmes star Robert Downey Jr and an extremely animated Jude Law took the swingin’ streets of London to help their boss, Guy Ritchie, wash that woman out of his hair with a night on the town. Downey Jr. said, “It’s not going to be a bender. It'll never be a bender, but we're going to have the most fun humanly possible before our 6 a.m. call time. Watch out, world, reformed Kabbalist on the loose!" [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Jerry Lewis Drops Another Pink F-Bomb Down Under

Seth Abramovitch · 10/24/08 12:17PM

82-year-old national treasure—in France, but whatever, France is a nation—Jerry Lewis has gone to Australia with his new stage extravaganza. It's a throwback to the good old days of variety shows, incorporating "show tunes with a 24-piece band, excerpts from his scores of movies and television shows, and his trademark slapstick comedy." (How a very realistic-looking prop glock fits into all this we do not know.) Asked at a press conference if he had any plans to retire or take a break, the comedian joked, "A break? No, why? You got something better to do?...Don't you understand that when you croak, it's for a ve-e-e-e-ry long time." Amid hearty nods of approval, he was then asked what he thought of the sport cricket, which elicited a regrettable dropping of the dreaded pink F-bomb:

Seth Abramovitch · 10/24/08 11:34AM

Stop Us If You Think You've Heard This One Before. It seems every year there's a rumor that Morrissey and Johnny Marr are setting aside their differences for a once-in-a-lifetime The Smiths reunion at Coachella. And every time, we run directly to our bed, jump up and down on it and sing "Panic" at the top of our lungs. (Then Morrissey usually comes out with a denial statement, and we sit on the edge of our bed and cry and sing "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now.") Well, guess what! The rumor's back again! The Sun is reporting that the band is “closer than ever” to reforming for a "ludicrous amount of money." We don't care what it costs! Pay it! (As long as ticket prices don't go up.) [The Sun]