Few things made us laugh harder than Tina Fey's devastatingly precise Sarah Palin send-ups on Saturday Night Live this season (or the fact that the quote that will be attributed to the candidate for all time, "I can see Russia from my house," was said not by Palin but by Fey). Still, as the hardest working woman in comedy was repeatedly spirited away from her 30 Rock duties, we grew worried for her — after all, she has a show, a kid, a book, an Emmy, an upcoming Steve Carell romcom... couldn't Lorne Michaels let the woman rest? We voiced our concerns after the SNL sketch where Fey appeared with the actual John McCain (her sixth appearance on the show this season), and now Fey is telling EW that she took our words to heart:

It had to happen: Whispers are speeding out of previews of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Revolutionary Road, leaving Paramount behind a breached embargo wall and knee-deep in mixed buzz for the former and generally glowing praise for the latter. Surely the studio's shrieking winged attack flacks are sniffing the most direct trail to the leakers' (mostly anonymous) domains, so make their sacrifices worth it! Hear the early word after the jump.The first Button item we saw was submitted by an "industry spy"; if it was published by anyone other that Anne Thompson, we'd assume it was just a publicity intern practicing her press-note chops:

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: 11/13 - Just saw sweaty dooshy oily sweaty pudgy squishy BRETT RATNER walking in Beverly Hills accompanied by a nonchalant blonde. He was passing us on the sidewalk, eyeballing a red-headed blue-eyed beauty wearing a black Obama Tshirt that had his face on it in sparkles. I stopped to tell the girl that THE WORLD FAMOUS Brett Ratner had given her the thrice-over and she pondered the possibility of crossing the street a different way to catch his eye again. HOWEVER, she did not do so. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

At last, after having nothing but a meager pile of magazine clippings and hearsay to rely upon throughout this entire ordeal, we have Jennifer Aniston in the flesh to set us straight on what Angelina Jolie's adoptive people have already dubbed L'affair uncool. On trusted confidante (who doesn't mind spilling your private business on America's TVs for her own ratings gain) Oprah Winfrey's show today, the host hoisted a Post-It-littered Vogue bearing the five words heard round the world. It was a coverline so powerful, it managed to push Obama off the front page of the NY Times, who instead ran a 30-pt headline that read, "Amid a Climate of Hope, Tensions Between Warring Starlets Flare." In her trademark stammer, the former Friends star it admits she indeed said, "What Angelina did was very uncool," but it was just one of many responses she answered "as honestly as I could. I don't go there. I mean, it's 100 years old, for Christ's sake." If ever we wanted a girl to go, it was Aniston, at that moment. [Oprah]

Steve Carell brought along his family photo album during a visit to Ellen earlier today, treating the studio audience to robust hints of the domestic heaven that is the Carell household. Among the fun: Bathtime with young son John, with whom the comic enjoys a bit of bonding over toy sharks. At least we thought they were toys until Ellen and her filthy-minded crowd went and sullied our soft-focus image, like a Hallmark card torched by a cadre of arsonists. Next thing you know, they'll be snickering at Carell's Beaver. Forshame! [Ellen]

There's a lot of great television tonight, and with three weeks until Thanksgiving, you should probably start slowly working mood stabilizers into your diet in preparation for family members asking you to explain why you haven't succeeded yet. WATCH Wu: The Story of the Wu Tang Clan [8 PM, BET] - This doc by Gerald K. Barclay purports to have rarely seen footage from the golden age of the Wu - 1993-1997. What were you doing in 1994? We were driving around in our green Ford Taurus bumping "C.R.E.A.M." Sadly, we are still driving that Taurus. Happily, we are still representing the Wu.

License to Kill? Yet another delicious dish to add to the all-you-can-eat James Bond Minutiae Buffet: 5 Bond Girls Who Died After Wearing A Bikini. "[O]ut of 11 Bond girls who had 'bikini moments,'" we've learned, "five died before the end of the film. That’s 45 percent, making the wearing of a two-piece bathing suit in the company of James Bond just about the most dangerous activity a woman could engage in anywhere on the planet at any time in history." Not so fast! They could always work with Alan Ball. [Spout Blog]

· Showtime and Stan Lee are indeed developing a drama about the life of a gay superhero, as Hero author Perry Moore hinted back in May. And he just happens to be gay, OK? He's not, like, Poppers Boy or Wonder Trannie. [Variety] · Michael Moore is shifting the scope of his next movie from foreign affairs to the U.S. economy, allowing him to return to the struggling backroads of Roger & Me's Flint, where he's shocked to find the "Rabbits: Pets or Meat" lady has expanded her roadside stand into HARECO—the world's largest bunny-distributing conglomerate. [THR] · Meryl Streep will star in a movie based on Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World. Finally! A cat movie from grownups! [Variety] After the jump: Which new dad is going to wish they never even heard the name David O. Russell in a matter of months?· ABC won the night with the Three Hours of Country Music Industry Auto-Fellation You'll Never Get Back Again Awards. [Variety] · Matthew McConaughey's life is about to be made a living hell by director David O. Russell in The Grackle, about a "barroom fighter in New Orleans who hires himself out for $250 to settle disputes." He then dispatches a couple of walleyed Malibu surfers to beat the shit out of the warring parties. [Variety]

Now that Russell Brand's been virtually blacklisted from British television, he's made a return to America to ply his wares (yes, that sound you heard was Jordin Sparks stomping an Ugg boot in frustration). Appearing on Letterman last night to promote his upcoming Adam Sandler movie, Brand bewitched the talk show host with the thicket of hair whipped up over his head like a haphazardly thrown-together bird's nest.Though we'd figured the layers of locks held some sort of Samson-like ability for the British lothario, Brand explained that really, his intent is to get closer to God — or serve as a calling tower for extraterrestrials, should they exist. Still, the powerfully hypnotic effect of his hairstyle on Letterman ought to give Brand hope: perhaps a simple question of "Do I have something in my hair?" to his crush, Helen Mirren, could result in another red two-piece hanging off his bedpost.

When it comes to satisfying their children's tween dreams, Barack and Michelle Obama have been fairly generous, arranging a Jonas Brothers meet-and-greet on the set of Ellen that found Joe practicing his phone breakup techniques on Malia and left Sasha, weirdly, with a purity ring on her left thumb. Still, there's one place that even the Obamas deem too frightening for their girls: the set of Hannah Montana! After Billy Ray Cyrus issued an invitation for the younger Obamas to make an appearance on the show that was greeted with a firm "Uh...," Miley's father attempted a retraction tinged with some unexpected advice:

You really have to sympathize with The View's braintrust, whose knowledge of topics like arts and science, current events, and the general shape of the planet is mostly limited to whatever producers can fit on a 5x8 cue card. Watching them try to argue the fundamental issues behind the Prop 8 firestorm is about as productive as watching four black-crested macaques change a spare tire—you know they'll get there eventually, but you're looking at many grueling hours of mutual nit-picking before they do.So when the group's impotent disciplinarian Barbara Walters returned from a recent interview with the World Famous Pregnant Man™ bearing the earth-shattering scoop that HE IS PREGNANT AGAIN, one can only imagine how quickly things devolved. The bombshell sucked the show into a Bermuda Triangle vortex of shock and confusion, tethered at each corner by the hosts' tenuous yet deeply passionate takes on hot topics like marriage, gender, and multiple-abortion-having. Words like "floored," "What the Hell Wednesday," and "woooowwwww" are soon lobbed about, until Elisabeth Hasselbeck—go figure!—is the one to finally rein in her wits, boring straight to the crux of this 21st century metaphysical mystery by observing: "Having another baby 10 months from now? That is hard work. 15 months apart? That's the hardest thing yet!" So true, so very true. [The View]

Sony yesterday released the new teaser for the apocalyptic epic 2012, sort of a Groundhog Day meets The Day After Tomorrow in which Earth's inhabitants wake up one morning to find director Roland Emmerich once again destroying everything in sight. There's little on hand to illuminate the plot that star John Cusack so vigorously protected earlier this year in a chat with Defamer, but here's what we can suss from a couple viewings so far:1. Emmerich's campy, well-fortified London townhouse? Saved. 2. Tibet? Gone. 3. Killer-tidal wave CGI technology has not advanced especially far in the five years since Day After Tomorrow. 4. Emmerich is returning to the political satire at which he acquitted himself so expertly before stumbling over historical comedy with 10,000 B.C. 5. If you look really, really close, we think you can spot Cusack boogieboarding into the doomed monastery. BONUS: If you're especially determined to get something out of this, amuse yourself and your coworkers by reading the intertitles in your best Don LaFontaine voice. It's fun!

Though many "No on 8" protesters have been talking about a Utah-penalizing boycott of the Sundance Film Festival, we initially wrote the idea off as unrealistic (though it provides a great face-saving maneuver for rejected indie filmmakers!). Now, though, David Poland has brought to light a direct impact that one "Yes on Prop 8" donor — the CEO of the Cinemark theater chain — could potentially have on the festival:

Quantum of Solace opens tomorrow, and will likely draw out every stripe of James Bond fan. (Except the George Lazenby contingent, who all these years later still feel the On Her Majesty's Secret Service and The Kentucky Fried Movie star was wrongly stripped of his double-o status.) But as audiences thrill to the secret agent's adventures battling the nefarious Dr. Heinrick Discord and his plans to detonate the planet using a sympathy-powered nuclear device, some of the touchstones of the Bond brand—the gadgets, the martinis, and, most of all, the cringe-worthy double-entendres—will be nowhere on display.Ex-Bond Roger Moore has recently voiced his disappointment over the character's devolution into a monosyllabic id, lumbering around hotel lobbies and breaking necks in skimpy gay swimwear. "My Bond," he said wistfully, "was a lover and a giggler." Yes, we remember him well—so it's in his honor that we dedicate the above montage we call Five Decades of James Bond Sex Puns. We hope it Moonrakes your Octopussies off. (Thanks to Nick McGlynn for putting this together, and Maxim for finding the clips.)

We can tell by your reactions to Jennifer Aniston's recent Vogue indictment of Angelina Jolie (e.g. "She needs to build a bridge and get over it") that there remains plenty of demand for Aniston to swing away at her spouse-snatching archnemesis. So off she went to visit Oprah Winfrey, who, in an interview to be broadcast later today, wouldn't let Aniston out of the studio without claiming her own stake of the fuss. Hint: That bridge may be on the way! To Pitt, anyway:

Because there is no morning so terrible that it cannot be rendered less terrible with some one-on-one time with Jake Gyllenhaal in a cleavage-enhancing under-chemise, we bring you this ET footage from the set of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time—a Jerry Bruckheimerian extravaganza the superproducer says will be cinema's greatest headdress-and-scimitar-heavy triumph since Lawrence of Arabia. If you listen carefully, you can hear smacking sounds coming from the reporter as she gets her first taste of Jake's "convincing" accent (like the hunky love child of Peter O'Toole and Helen Mirren), then later observes, "There's been so much buzzz about your physeeque!" There certainly has been—some of it emanating from Defamer HQ as worker drones vigorously rubbed their wings together to this photo. Though it doesn't open until May 2010, we can hardly wait to check out Jake's vast array of camel-gadgets.

THR reports NBC has canceled both Christian Slater amnesiac secret agent show My Own Worst Enemy, as well as Lipstick Jungle, in which Brooke Shields leads a troop of cosmetic assassins down the Nung River to eliminate the AWOL and believed-insane Colonel Mary Kay:

· Last night's Dancing with the Stars featured a harrowing intake exam with Cody Linley and his recently appendectomied partner, Julianne Hough. Turns out both of them are hopelessly addicted—to mutual respect and admiration! · Our new hero: Wisconsin native Kyle Drinkwine "became so incensed by a lackluster karaoke performance of a heavy metal song that he assaulted the singer and a second man, police charge." "But which song?!" you bellow. "'Holy Diver,' by Ronnie James Dio," we respond. · Life Saver Wint-O-Green mints and The Wedding Singer's Rapping Granny both turned 90 recently. Why not combine parties? Just don't get too drunk and forget which one to put in your mouth for fresher breath. · Funny—25 seconds of this duet with Def Leppard is how long it took us to decide we need a little less Taylor Swift in our lives, too. · Hey, look everyone—it's Nick Denton's latest CT scan a bad omen of things to come! Hold us. It's so very cold and dark and the wolves are scratching at the door.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Alec Baldwin in Love Edition! 11/8 — I saw him picking up sushi on Sat. night in the Valley with some really leggy, gorgeous, young looking blonde. They looked like they were on a date. He looked bigger but, happy... Damn I would be happy too, if I had that girl he was with on my arm... She didn't look famous but like a model, kinda familar. They were talking very intimately and looked like they liked each other a lot... [UPDATE: The shocking reveal (maybe!) after the jump!]A tipster follows up:

The Dow got boned to the tune of -411 today and people are talking the big R. If things get bad, our hierarchy of needs goes: cats, TV, clothing, food, and, least important, medical care. Not when there's solid things to wreck with our bodies! WATCH Stylista [9 PM, CW] - This week the contestants scramble to pick out a last minute outfit for Anne Slowey before managing a photo shoot for designer Tory Burch. Our favorite contestants are Danielle, an overweight 22 year-old Pratt Institute drop-out that Anne Slowey makes the politically correct point of complimenting each week, and Kate, who cries each episode, worships fashion icon Jessica Simpson, and ignites fights like this.