Just because Heath Ledger was a favorite to claim this year's Best Supporting Actor Oscar since before The Dark Knight even opened, that doesn't mean he can't use a gentle, posthumous awards-season studio nudge.

Last night's Office actually declines, despite Super Bowl boost. [THR]

We know he survived the US Airways crash and plays a mean banjo, but is Steve Martin ever going to cease pulling career-surprises out of his magic hat? On second thought, never mind. [Yahoo News]

· Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman will star in "fertility-themed comedy" The Baster. After Marley & Me and HJNTIY, we honestly don't think we'll be able to survive the press tour on this one. [Variety]

Someday, Fergie and Josh Duhamel may have an inquisitive, precocious child who asks, "What was your wedding night like? How was the sex?" And Fergie will answer, "Why tell you when we can show you?"

As if on cue, Christian Bale has surfaced with tail tucked neatly between legs to apologize for the rant that has kept bloggers, Access Hollywood reporters, and talk show hosts knee-deep in material for days.

2/5 — PUFF DADDY going through the motions on an elliptical at Equinox West Hollywood. His bodyguard actually approached my friend and said, "Sean would like your number." She didn't give it to him, but she did confess that his I Am King commercial makes her laugh her ass off every time she sees it. Grown men riding jet skis in white tuxedos is totally her brand of humor. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your guide to everything new, noteworthy and neither here nor there at the movies. This week: America's Into You, Oscar shorts go to war, and Push comes to shove.

· We had no idea that what downed US Airways 1549 was a Canadian Goose temporarily blinded by Jon Hamm's gorgeousness.

· The Silent Movie Theatre screens Ernst Lubitsch Musicals, from the silent film pioneer who combined his love of European operettas and his mastery of film to produce the first Hollywood musicals. Tonight: 1934's The Merry Widow.

AICN got breakdowns for ABC's pilot remake of V, about reptilian aliens who descend on L.A. pretending to be peaceful, before unhinging their jaws and swallowing us alive. (It's loosely based on the CAA story.)

James seems awfully sore that Beyonce got the Inauguration nod instead of her, and made no bones about that fact at a concert last week in Seattle. "I can't stand Beyoncé," she muttered to the audience. "She has no business standing up there singing that song." James also threatened violence toward the singer and claimed that Obama was "not my president," a Secret Service-tempting taunt that the audience, so ready to hoot at Beyoncé, knew less what to make of. Beware, Miss Knowles: when the full moon wanes, and a suddenly-itchy leather bustier signals your transformation from Sasha Fierce back into the terribly ordinary Beyoncé, Etta James will be ready to pounce!

Joe Satriani calls off his Coldplay-chasing subpeona hounds. [E!]

We've noted a lack of watchable medical drama in current network programming, but we're suckers for crossovers. The Grey's Privates event, as we call it while giggling, tops today's picks.

OHHHHH GOOOOD, word has emerged of yet another recipient of Christian Bale's generous anger-gifting: trailblazing feminist hero Gloria Steinem!

Yesterday, we made the case for Bikini Girl as post-post-feminist-Amazonian-karaoke-warrior, but predicted she'd be out. Well, we were right about that, but we regretfully report her elimination demonstrated an egregious lack of Girl Power.

The Berlin Film Festival launched today with the world premiere of Clive Owen's financial-intrigue thriller The International, and we regret to inform that it was critically wounded almost instantly. But recovery is expected!

Time to hit Payless: The last, lumbering, sushi-nibbling dinosaur of the conspicuous consumption era is getting a sequel!

Though Miley Cyrus may have been Oscar-snubbed, at least she's the frontrunner for a Tortured Logic nomination after she blamed the media uproar for her slanty-eyed play-acting on...Britney Spears's sobriety.

If Joaquin Phoenix really hopes to convince the world that he's the world's greatest undiscovered rapper (and not simply its least essential hoaxer), he may have to start with winning over Gwyneth Paltrow.