· Angelina Jolie is fishing for orphans off the coast of Thailand. Meanwhile, here's the natural progression.
· The Top 10 Celebrity Twitterers. (Shaq, it was always you.) And in case you feel like you've been left behind, Celebrity Tweet is here to help.
· Here's four pages of True Blood swagpires sucking every last freebie drop from the HBO Luxury Lounge.

This week's best commenters get a Shane Hurlbut custom light-tweaking in the room of their choice! Just don't get hot and bothered if he does it while you're, uh, doing it. So who won?

Friday
· U.K. rapper Lady Sovereign brings her rhymes to the Echo.
· Stormy Weather, the Lena Horne biographical musical with Leslie Uggams in the title role, continues at the Pasadena Playhouse.

If you still don't agree that Isla Fisher might be cursed, we've got publicity-stunt proof just in from the Garden State.

The curtain came up last night on Will Ferrell's Broadway debut, You're Welcome America. A Final Night with George W. Bush, and the reviews are...

Jesus Christ, stop asking Kate Winslet about her body. [Us]

Pirates had a good week - from studios admitting they're totally screwed, to actual pirates receiving millions in ransom - so we suggest you stop BitTorrenting The Wrestler and watch some family-friendly TV.

We swore we'd gotten Bikini Girl out of our system after yesterday's breathless retelling of her final moments on American Idol—a pretty amazing run that ended much as it began, with Kara DioGuardi's hacking noises.

If there's one thing Entertainment Weekly loves even more than Twilight, it's Lost. However, fans may want to sic a smoke monster on the editors for divulging too much in their new cover story.

What the Oscars lack in viewership will be made up for in spectacle—everything from Judd Apatow's sprawling A Salute to Penis to a Busby Berkeley-esque number placing Hugh Jackman inside a circle of scissor-kicking aboriginal-wind-spirits.

If you're like us, you used to blame your poor Oscar-pool showing on those short films that never arrived in theaters before awards night. For better or worse, that excuse is officially over.

Oh hey, it looks like The CW is really, actually going to go ahead with this Melrose Place remake to accompany the 90210 we forgot we had once cared about. So who's going to star?

When you're an actress dating a famously purity-ring-clad pop singer, how can you out-chastity him? If you're Camilla Belle, and your beau is Joe Jonas (of the Jonas Brothers, squeeeee!1!!), you go to great lengths.

Obama not here for french-fry free-rides. [Boston Phoenix via Wonkette]

Jeez, America, can't you take a joke? You only think Etta James hates Beyoncé because you think Miley Cyrus is racist because Britney Spears is sober. Or something.

Remember all those questions we had last year about how DreamWorks and Universal might bridge the financing gap in their tenuous new relationship? The answer's simpler than anyone thought: They won't.

We realize times are lean, but did THR even glance at the royalty-free stock photography accompanying their "Know your fall TV pilots" feature?

Jerry Springer leaving AGT to focus on Summerstock. [THR]

Admit it: at times, when the fantasy of a live, Fox News-sponsored hatefuck with Elisabeth Hasselbeck simply won't do, your thoughts turn to The View's resident sexual lioness (when Barbara Walters isn't there), Joy Behar.

As if a gift sent from on high to wipe away all memories of Mickey Rourke's Christian Audigier-on-mescaline outfit, we present now a NSFW palate-cleanser: