Double snaps to 30 Rock, as it has entered our pantheon (it's a storage locker in Atwater Village) of shows that are too dominant in their genre to recommend (along with American Idol and AC360°).

Happily, Bride Wars wasn't the '09 setback we feared for Anne Hathaway, but rather a minor detour on her way to the coveted, gender-bending Shakespearean promised land.

Wall-E's umpteenth Oscar snub: Peter Gabriel bails out. [DHD]

The days of producer and rookie Oscar ringleader Laurence Mark not getting his way are largely over, except for one unresolved bit of correspondence from nearly 30 years ago.

American Idol prelims are over. Thank ye gods. But what about some of those choices, huh? Why are they making the weirdos and duds so easy to spot this time around? We need more mystery!

You may have noticed a striking ad on page 5 of THR today, prominently featuring what appears to be the human equivalent of an Easter Peep.

Count Oscar-greeter emeritus Army Archerd among those laughing his ass off at plans to sneak surprise presenters and attendees into the show via parachute in the dead of night.

In case you were worried that American Idol had somehow lost its dehumanizing edge over eight seasons, and that there was perhaps some small chance that its castaways won't end up on Celebrity Rehab—fret not.

The return of Ol' Smokey on Lost answered one of the drama's many questions (at least for us): What exactly is the Monster? Guilty of loving too much, that's what!

There is perhaps no sadder Hollywood story to emerge from the recession than the closure of Motion Picture & Television Fund's long-term care facility and hospital in Woodland Hills.

Only in our nightmares does Barbara Walters shriek, "Do you have sex?" in a repeated, accusatory tone—and yet, when it happened on The View today, it was strangely satisfying.

· Samuel Bayer, director of the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video, will reboot Nightmare on Elm Street. Odd choice? Not when you consider the iconic things he's done with striped tops and jumping girls.

Justifiably, semi-apologies and awards-season censure aren't going far enough to repair Miley Cyrus's SlantyGate-poisoned reputation among Asians. It's going to take a lot more — like $4 billion more — to achieve litigated peace.

His disastrous Letterman interview brought Joaquin Phoenix's whole quitting-acting-to-become-a-bearded-rapper shtick to a dizzying climax last night. Dave played it off as legit. Others think it's all an Andy Kaufman-esque hoax. We think it's both!

Today we have sad old actors and check bouncers. And also everyone is on cocaine. Absolutely everyone everywhere. Well done, everybody.

Here's Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman later tonight, either stoned out of his mind or just medically catatonic (or both). Letterman makes several heroic efforts to politely prompt Phoenix before ruthlessly mocking him.

· We're not sure what it is they're cooking on Late Night, but it requires some extra-salty language. (Tee hee!)

· Mortified LA: Doomed Valentine's Show offers an evening of epically humiliating romantic raconteurship. Misery loves company, especially around this time of year. At King King.

Sundance darling Push is at the center of a bitter tug-of-war, with The Weinstein Company filing multiple suits against Lionsgate and Cinetic, the company that brokered the deal, alleging fraud and breach of contract.

In this economy, ABC can't afford to only let go every gay, gay-adjacent, or gay-hating actor on Grey's Anatomy. Other ABC series are feeling the burn, and two newly departing actors were announced today.