Mickey Rourke's Oscar-date roundelay shrunk Thursday night with a creative — and we'd say pretty firm — denial that he's considering Courtney Love.

Well, that was a nice while it lasted. News that Grey's Anatomy powerkvetchers Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight had left the show—Heigl off to various slumcom pursuits, Knight to, um—appears to have been premature.

After Jon Stewart kicked Viacom's synergy machine out of whack by anointing Benjamin Button the Sleepytime Picture of the Year, a Colbert Report corrective was the least Comedy Central could arrange.

· The whole Blart team has reconvened for The Zookeeper, the story of "a lonely zookeeper...leading to intervention by the zoo's animals." He settles for a nice Tufted Capuchin in the end. [Variety]

So, how did those photos of Nadya Suleman's horribly distended, octuplet-carrying belly get out into the world? They were licensed to TMZ (presumably by Octo-mom herself), which wants to drum up publicity and traffic.

In a perfect world — one we've actively fantasized about for a while — there would be a cultural tribunal somewhere holding George Lucas accountable for crimes against fans and films alike.

We've already pointed out a chilling similarity between Michael Jackson and Watchmen's Rorschach.

While Dakota Fanning failed to capitalize last night on her honorary blackness, Seven Pounds co-stars Will Smith and Rosario Dawson indeed felt the sweet if transitory kiss of NAACP Image Awards validation.

You've already marveled at the Super Bowl teaser—now feast senses upon the full Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer, surreptitiously captured by a Friday the 13th patron currently being popcornboarded at an MPAA detainment center.

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your guide to everything new, noteworthy and machete-wielding at the movies. This week: Isla shops, Clive broods, Joaquin departs (we think), and pretty much everyone at Camp Crystal Lake dies.

That hirstute Madonna nude photo sold for $37,500, more than double its estimate. A-Rod's having a happy Valentine's! True trivia: Madonna got paid $25 for the shoot. Not even enough for Nair. [BBC, Previously]

Somehow we knew Alec Baldwin would come for you first, Joaquin Phoenix. The actor seems as hostile to strung-out hippies as his 30 Rock alter ego Jack Donaghy.

Hugh Grant just wants your extra time and your kiss. Seriously, that's absolutely all he wants. Unlike George Clooney, who wants you to abdicate a political empire.

Everyone's been debating whether Joaquin Phoenix's crack-up, as evidenced on Letterman the other night, is real or a hoax. It sure looked real to the director of his last movie.

· On the Anna Nicole opera: "It is not going to be tawdry, it is going to be witty, clever, thoughtful and sad." Well, without even hearing a note, we can definitely say they've not remotely captured Anna Nicole. [LAT]
· Guess who's having the hottest Oscars after-after-party for the second year in a row? That's right: Indecipherable Unisex Symbol! Awooooooooo-ah! Hundalasiliah!
· "You're not my mummy: Mother's makeover on This Morning reduces baby son to tears" [Daily Mail]
· Here's a slideshow of disgraced celebrity pitchmen and women. Ah, yes...Phelps, Vick, Stone...they're all here.

· Or, in a simpler variation, just drop 20 on her DVD Totally Fit and call it good. She'll sell it to you personally tonight at the Virgin Megastore.

There's one Hollywood role up for grabs that some of its biggest female stars want nothing to do with: the temptress whose text message began the fight between Rihanna and Chris Brown.

ET's coverage of Dancing with the Stars has traditionally been exhaustive, so why has their every mention of the new cast omitted perky fluff oracle Nancy O'Dell?

There is a man in this photo with Joaquin Phoenix. Learn his face, for he may be the dark wizard conjurer behind Phoenix's career transformation into a trainwreck.

No one will confirm it, and considering the secrecy around the project, Universal may never disclose the rumored seven-figure price tag accompanying its deal for Jonah Hill's new screenplay Adventurer's Handbook. Still — seven figures?