If Miley Cyrus wants to make amends with the Asian community in the wake of her scandalous, slanty-eyed snapshots, perhaps she should ring up Margaret Cho, who's just penned her a new tune.

Stand-up comedy is usually boring live (and especially boring on television), but we always check the trades for comics getting their own shows. Most go sitcom, but we prefer comics who do something original.

Internet commenters, why do you hurt Jimmy Fallon so? [W]

Which Idol judge was beaten hardest with a bad-taste-bat? [EW]

Firmly establishing The Ellen DeGeneres Show as the place where disgruntled Grey's Anatomy actors can go to seethe about their dropped costars, Eric Dane appeared today and was promptly asked about Katherine Heigl.

Produced by American Idol peddlers FremantleMedia and purchased by an exec at Fox we can only imagine no longer has a job, Osbournes Reloaded first came to attention for refusing to hire WGA writers—a cynical, cost-cutting decision that elicited an angry letter from Guild heads Patric Verrone and Michael Winship.

Caught outside of Mr. Chow by an inquisitve Hollywood.tv paparazzo, Howard commented on the Rihanna/Brown situation with a sighed, "It's just life, man." he then added, "Chris is a great guy, man. He'll be all right. And Rihanna knows he loves her, you know? They'll be alright. 'Cause everybody gotta get out of their way, you know what I mean?" Yes, we do—it means that the Howard-mocking Jamie Foxx has a lot more material now. [Celebuzz]

The first teaser for Quentin Tarantino's new WWII movie Inglourious Basterds is out. I love Tarantino and have a strange affinity for WWII movies, so why am I so... disappointed?

As much as Warner Bros. would love for Christopher Nolan to begin working on a follow-up to The Dark Knight, like, yesterday, new reports reveal that his plans for a Bat-sequel are being put off.

Gosh, is it time for another cycle of America's Next Top Model already? Seems like just yesterday that Tyrabot stepped out of the Glamonator 11.0 to survey the latest crop of potential Lashtblasht Shlashes spokesmannequins.

We've been beside ourselves with worry after receiving word of a possible fire on the Ellen set. (Where's Iggy? Where's Portia? Where's DJ Tony Okungbowa???) We're happy to report there's no cause for alarm:

Out of fairness to Quentin, Harv, and the whole Basterds gang working so hard to bring you all the Nazi-scalping excellence you deserve, we bring you now the official HD Basterds trailer.

Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams engaged to be married. [Us]

If you had any doubts that Joaquin Phoenix will push his hoaxy rapper persona into the depths of career ignominy, let his Two Lovers director fill you in on his insane level of commitment.

Surely this year's Oscars telecast is enshrouded in more secrecy than any other. WHO will be appearing? WHAT will they be doing? HOW will the trophies be distributed? (We think we actually cracked that one.)

As we head into the final installment of preliminary auditions tonight, a very important American Idol question needs to be asked. Is laughing, desperate, weeping Tatiana the most annoying contestant the show's ever had?

CRUISE. WASHINGTON. CRONENBERG. Wait—what? [Variety]

With the fires of NoisyNeighborConstructionGate quenched by a Vitamin Water peace-offering, tweeting lovebirds Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore found themselves in need of a compelling plot on which to hang their his 'n' hers streams-of-Twitter-consciousness.

Though Warner Independent Pictures no longer exists, it's comforting to know that WB's deeply boneheaded decision to let Fox Searchlight snatch Slumdog Millionaire away is still immortalized on their website. Click to enlarge.

There's a lot of drama surrounding the Oscar race for Best Actor, but it's not about whether Sean Penn will triumph over Mickey Rourke—it's which lovable trainwreck Rourke should bring as his date.