We had earlier lamented that we'd have to wait until May for Frank Gotti's magnum opus, The Gotti Diet — and, like manna from heaven, an uncorrected manuscript arrived at our door just a mere day later. As such, it's time for a very special Frank Gotti Book Club, in which we'll preview unpublished gems, taken from the book at random. Today's passage:

Fortune Magazine is celebrating its 75th anniversary with one of those jam-packed issues full of lists. Lists of seventy-five things. Get it?

You gotta admire a writer like Walter Kirn. One week, he's telling us how we live now in The New York Times Magazine, the next he's sharing his experiences as an outsider at Princeton, the next he's reviewing books for The New York Times Book Review, the next he's explaining fly-over country in TIME, then he's writing copy for an international calling card website. All while waiting for the movie version of his book to come out.

Finally, the literary review you've never read has a new editor you sort of know! The Paris Review has announced that New Yorker writer Philip Gourevitch will edit the august publication after the ouster of Brigid Hughes.

We have to wait until May for this baby. Such a tease, that Frankie.

This weekend, The New York Times broke new ground in book promotion by looking at the rotting Brooklyn apartment of Mike Albo, author of The Underminer (with, coincidentally, The Times' Virginia Heffernan) in the 'Real Estate' section.

Sam Lipsyte is the author of Home Land, a novel The New York Times Book Review recently compared to Philip Roth's Portnoy's Complaint—and not just because masturbation is a leitmotif in the life of his protagonist, Lewis "Teabag" Miner.

Porn-loving writers, can't you all just get along? Today's 'Page Six' reports on the ugly words Legs McNeil, author of The Other Hollywood, has for his not-quite rival in highbrow porn appreciation, Martin Amis:

Hey writers! Got a book coming out? Need an awesome blurb with hipster cred but the usual suspects won't return your calls?

Not since the producers of Bewitched (the TV series, kids, not the Nora Ephron movie) switched Dick Sargent for Dick York have we been so confused by a midstream same name star replacement as this:

McSweeney's has an advance look at the books that will be banned in the year 2191. It's a shame to see that our childrens' children won't have learned from our mistakes: half of these books will probably be published by Judith Regan's preserved brain in a jar of formaldehyde:

Dale Peck carries an ax... M. Scott Peck wears glasses.

File this under 'W' for 'We would've preferred it not to be illustrated.' William Grimes reviews Philip Short's Pol Pot: Anatomy of a Nightmare in today's Times and tells us:

"Daddy, what were The Gates?"

Lloyd Grove reports on the seemingly one-sided dispute between the authors of the inexplicably popular women's self-help book He's Just Not That Into You and the author and publisher of the rebuttal, Be Honest—You're Not That Into Him Either.

In the March issue of The Atlantic (yes, we read The Atlantic—for the cheesecake photos, not for the articles), Benjamin Schwarz gives Richard Blow Bradley's Harvard Rules the old 69-word once-over, calling it "gossipy and kind of trashy but wholly compelling—a Sex and the City for the Northeast-corridor elite (now, there's an unappealing concept)."

What exactly does 'new' mean? Does it mean 'six months old'?

FOX 411's Roger Friedman expends some column inches today examining Charlize Theron's reading habits.

We preemptively mocked Mike Albo and Virginia Heffernan's comic novel The Underminer back in December because, well, mostly because we're bad people.

A reader wrote in shortly after our "Books Twins" post to tell us the following: