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"Daddy, what were The Gates?"

A question a child might ask, but not a childish question. New York—and the world—changed forever during sixteen days in the winter of 2005 when artists Christo and Jean-Claude installed their $21 million work of art in Central Park. Twenty-five years in the planning, The Gates attracted record crowds before accidentally triggering an alien invasion on the tenth day.

No one could have known that this work of art would bring mankind to the very brink: 10 years of war with highly sophisticated human-hating extraterrestrials that killed or enslaved half of earth's population and ate all of the planet's canines. Even early critics like former Parks Commissioner Henry Stern had no idea that the saffron coloring and unique configuration of The Gates was an alien-antagonizing code that attracted an armada of ten thousand space crafts over North America.

But The Gates also brought mankind's greatest triumph: defeating the aliens through the use of President Bush's controversial Missile Defense Shield. The rebuilding after the alien annihilation and the creation of a one-world government presided over by a learned counsel of elders and Jean-Claude brought peace to earth—what was left of it anyway.

Celebrate this historic moment in time with Taschen's Christo & Jean-Claude. The Gates—Collector's Edition, a handsomely bound, limited edition coffee table book, available through March 21. Remind yourself every day of the power of humankind with a commemorative Gates watch, available now.

Christo & Jean-Claude. The Gates—Collector's Edition [Taschen]
MERCH ON THE MARCH [NYP]