PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so if lady luck should happen to gift you with one, don't squander it: Write it up and send it in! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you dined among the boy band diaspora:
Today's special guest on "The Martha Stewart Show" was none other than belletrist/inhalant connoisseur Lindsay Lohan. Gawker Splicemaster Alex Goldberg has assembled some of the finest moments. Martha kind of comes off like your mom's best friend: She wants you to know that she's cool and hip, but she's also pushing the message that maybe you should cut down on the partying, you know? Gripping stuff.
On today's Martha Stewart Show, unstoppable party juggernaut Lindsay Lohan—who could not even be slowed by a pricey, totally unnecessary outpatient rehab program—finally lets her defenses down (once Martha gets you into her kitchen and has you whipping up profiteroles, you're fucking toast) and reveals the one person who could possibly end her reign of clubbing terror: Georgia Rule co-star Jane Fonda. As reassuring as it is to discover that there's at least one authority figure the troubled actress might actually listen to, we fear that new ET correspondent Dina Lohan might be so deeply hurt that she might use her next Rule assignment to hunt down Fonda for an ugly confrontation, grabbing a fistful of the older actress's hair and screaming, "So, now you're trying to steal my meal ticket, you commie bitch? Don't fuck with a mom from Strong Island with nothing to lose!," a tussle during which a peacemaking Cojo tragically loses an eye to Dina's wildly flailing fingernails.
A scene from the literary life of Lindsay Lohan:
Late last night, all of America came to a standstill as Lindsay Lohan turned up on Letterman to help promote Georgia Rule (we'll assume it was a good faith effort to make up some of the time she missed due to "exhaustion" and "immaturity"), hoping that the perpetually troubled starlet might reveal what's actually going on in those blurry News of the World bathroom stall photos.
Passing up the opportunity to run far more shocking images of a bear caught in the act of defecating in the woods or of the Pope celebrating a Catholic Mass, the UK's News of the World has published a series of blurry stills culled from a post-rehab video allegedly depicting Lindsay Lohan and a pal blowing a rail or 20 in a Teddy's ladies room stall, footage that a well-intentioned friend is sharing with the paper out of concern that the public has heretofore been woefully uninformed about the starlet's love of a little harmless partying. Because the internet is a wondrous and magical place, the pictures have already been assembled into a kicky montage and set to an upbeat soundtrack proliferating on the YouTubes, effectively communicating the spirit of carefree Hollywood fun in which they were taken.
Britney Spears played the Sunset Strip House of Blues last night, the final stop of a comeback trifecta in which Southern Californian fans were given the opportunity to pay $125 for 12 electrifying minutes of high-impact strippercising set to a handful of oldies, flawlessly lipsynched except where the chewing of gum necessitated dropping the occasional lyric. But even the most diehard of Britheads, traveling by caravan from show to show and obsessively comparing set-list notes in parking lots ("She opened with 'One More Time' into 'Slave' in Anaheim too? Whoa.") were in for a few surprises:
While the cynical may have viewed Lindsay Lohan's recent stint as an outpatient at the Wonderland Center (motto: "Working Around The Busy Hollywood Schedule That Drove You To Drug Abuse In The First Place Since 1983") as nothing more than a thinly veiled image-reclamation field trip, the troubled actress seems to have nonetheless used her publicist-mandated drying-out time to come to some incredible revelations about her lifestyle, as Lohan tells Allure:
Boy, Lindsay Lohan is looking rough in that picture. Oh, wait! That's actually her Mom, Dina, but with enough oversaturated lighting, it sure is hard to tell, right? Come on, play along. "I don't want them to know I'm her mom. It's a whole 'nother demographic. People just go dark," the speckly cougar told Harper's Bazaar, adding that she is not above wearing Linday's castoff clothes: "If you can button it and clip it when you're in your 40s, you're going out." Is clubbing with one's underage daughter a good parenting strategy? Who knows. Also, is Lindsay an alcoholic? Dina says noooo. "Noooo! She is just a 20-year-old who had to reel it in." But Dina also says yes: "She's from an addictive personality genetically." No shit, lady.
In a refreshing change from the kind of mundane, paparazzi-related vehicular incident that ostensibly sober tabloid bait Lindsay Lohan frequently finds herself in on the photographer-clogged streets of our fair city, the new Wonderland Center alumni (Class of Feb. 07) mixed things up by heading off to New York for her latest run-in with the guerilla shutterbug class, where either 1) an opportunistic, Nikon-wielding maniac leapt onto the hood of her BMW and then threw himself onto the pavement, hoping for an easy payday, or 2) an enraged starlet finally took it upon herself to lash out against her longtime tormentors by mowing down a guy who was innocently trying to get a money shot of a famous person engaged in the scandalous act of driving. We now direct you to Access Hollywood's video coverage of yesterday's near-tragedy, which should provide all the information you need to make an informed decision about who can rightly claim victory in this latest skirmish in the Celebrity-Paparazzi War.
