Arnold Schwarzenegger's mistress moves to the center of the storm. Did you know she and Maria Shriver had simultaneous pregnancies? Patrick Schwarzenegger is calling himself "Patrick Shriver" now. An exhaustive roundup of all things Schwarze-baby.
Remember when the Prince of England married that party supply heiress and the whole world was watching? Well after that Wills and Kate disappeared to go honeymooning in the Seychelles, and now there are some glamorous deets about the trip.
If you were rich and famous and had a movie to promote, you would be in the south of France right now basking in the sun and strolling down the red carpet in a couture creation. But you're not. You're reading this on the internet somewhere. Because we're jealous, let's all make fun of the stars who are there, shall we?
In your fed-up Wednesday media column: Bill Keller must be stopped, a new Encyclopedia of News, the LAT's long-awaited vindication, Katie Couric considered, and Gwyneth declines to launch a magazine, thank god.
Alert: straight men are editing magazines—in Manhattan! At least three of them. It's enough to make a media reporter lose his mind, contemplating the trend possibilities. Are magazines ready for "dudes?" Masculine dudes?
As the gossip hurricane rages on, Maria Shriver stands brave and resolute with her friend Oprah. Meanwhile, the Grammers are having a custody dispute, a Tiger Woods mistress is telling stories, and Kirk Cameron is not Stephen Hawking.
Do you think Ronald McDonald is creepy? Same here. All clowns are creepy. Just don't try telling that to McDonald's executives, who say he is "a force for good" in this cruel, cruel world.
Despite everything, the French are pretty happy with Mel Gibson right now. Also today: even more network TV news, this time from the CW, plus an update on prestige cabler AMC.
In your soaking Tuesday media column: Tina Brown goes out on a limb, journalists are set free in Libya, Dorothy Parvaz is still missing, Greta Van Susteren vs. Mediaite, and the media continue to consume and excrete itself, nonstop.
The troubled starlet is on the mend and sending the internet racy pictures of herself. The Situation sued his own father, Lindsay Lohan gets kicked out a party, Leonardo DiCaprio is dating a Gossip Girl. Tuesday's gossip just wants to relax on a beach somewhere.
If we've learned anything from the cautionary tale of Dilbert creator Scott Adams, it's that masquerading as your own biggest fan on the internet can come back to bite you in the ass. You'd think that lesson might have sunk in by now for Real Housewives of New York City star Jill Zarin, who we've already caught once writing glowing Amazon user reviews for her own advice book (while accusing its critics of being antisemites). But someone — not saying it's Jill! Could be anyone really! Innocent until proven Zarin!— has been bombarding the Vulture comments section with suspiciously pro-Jill propaganda.
Everyone's favorite butt-kicker has had her own butt kicked a bit of late, but it looks like she's rallied and will be back on TV. Also today: more TV pickup and cancellation news, plus a Terrence Malick controversy.
Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss must go away and never come back, ever, with their whining about how they only made, like, $100 million+ on their Facebook settlement, said the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. No, Tyler. No, Cameron. Just: No.
Just like most acceptance speeches and colonoscopies, the Cannes Film Festival goes on a little bit too long. That means that all of Hollywood is still living it up in the south of France, wearing their fancy clothes, and going to movie premieres. Here are some of the highlights.
IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been denied bail after being accused of sexually assaulting a maid in his Manhattan hotel this past weekend. Prosecutors say, plausibly, that Strauss-Kahn could easily hop a plane to France and never be extradited and be a whole new Roman Fucking Polanski, over there. [WSJ, photo via Getty]
