[Temporarily disgraced Miss USA Tara Conner with her creepy old benefactor, Donald Trump. They're promoting the new reality show "The Girls of Hedsor Hall" which looks dreadful; image via Getty]

Did you hear about what's going on in there, the Obama White House? It's Lord Of The Flies: Tropical heat, territorial prowling, surprise attacks on subordinates and barbaric business casual.

One of the nice thing about having a glamorous First Family is that it can provide cheap escapist entertainment amid a bleak economy and partisan political rancor.

Dude, Russia's not getting a Dell. That's a polite version of what Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, Russia's testy KGB agent turned autocrat, told Michael Dell in Davos. Dell's sin? After Putin delivered a fiery 40-minute sermon about the doom of the West, Dell asked if there was any way his company could help Russia with its computers. Yes, he gave a tacky sales pitch at the high-minded World Economic Forum. But he didn't deserve the tongue-lashing Putin gave him next, as reported by Fortune: "We don't need help. We are not invalids. We don't have limited mental capacity."

[The rapper and the former actress at the Elie Saab Paris Fashion Week show; image via Getty]

Today in the New York Times opinion section: Maureen Dowd reads the Post and pretends to be outraged at perk-addicted rich people, Thomas Friedman just makes up some nonsense.

How a conference dies: The savvy crowd stays away, while eager second-raters fill their seats. Google cofounder Sergey Brin is skipping Davos. Meanwhile, MySpace CEO Chris DeWolfe fought with a colleague to go amid layoffs.

It was a different time. Blame the old guy. I told you everything. Is there an excuse former Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain hasn't trotted out to explain why his fall is not his fault?

Everyone's experimenting with a new crowd: Katie Holmes hangs with the bad boys; Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie try a new neighborhood and Gene Roddenberry's remains enter a whole other orbit.

Hilary Rowland is an obnoxious name dropper. But she's not all talk: The model turned startup wannabe is reportedly no stranger to the celebrity dating circuit, and is now rumored seeing Entourage's Adrien Grenier.

A lordling of Silicon Valley, whom bloggers trust but don't dare name, surfaced to dismiss the notion that Steve Jobs, the ailing Apple CEO, was at Stanford Hospital for surgery Monday. Should we believe him?

Enough about Obama speechwriter Jon Favreau, 27. Who is his hot young girlfriend, Alejandra Campoverdi, and how did she make her way from a farmworker's family to Maxim magazine to the White House?

[Tina Fey and Jane Krakowski from "30 Rock" winning beautiful awards at the SAGs last night; image via Getty]

[Angelina Jolie and Mickey Rourke greet each other at last night's Screen Actors' Guild awards; image via Getty]

Billy Joel will be dissed, forever, by various critics. Now we're told the singer is a whiny misogynist — and 'The Worst Pop Singer Ever' — by Ron Rosenbaum in Slate.

Ty, Inc. likely hoped controversy would stoke sales of its Sasha and Malia dolls, preposterously claimed unrelated to the president's daughters. But the company overshot: you do not cross the First Lady.

The attention, it was just too much: Barack Obama 's single, 27-year-old speechwriter apparently disappeared himself from Facebook within three days of his boss' inauguration. We blame young women.

It was a week of sex, of scandal, of stepping down and stepping up. A week of drinking, a week of not sleeping. And a week, most of all, of changing.

Tom Cruise is trying to get inside the female mind; Joe Francis slipped into women's underwear and Mike Tyson is, once again, overwhelmed with lady attention.

Rumor has it former Good Morning America producer Ben Sherwood was pressured into giving up an appearance on his former show — because out outrage from his own former staff.