Thanks to this week's sponsors, whose money goes straight to our Kate Moss Cocaine Relief Fund. Interested in joining our charitable cause? More info here.

For reasons far beyond the comprehension of any mere mortal, Gawker was invited to a fancypants dinner last night at the National Building Museum in our nation's capital. The event was celebrating 350 years of raw Jewish power in America, complete with a keynote history lesson from President Bush. As he waxed philosophical on the wondrous wonderfulness of Jews, our tablemate, Heeb editor Josh Neuman, summed it all up quite nicely: "I really want to read the Koran."

Want to join our band of merrily misanthropic misfits? Well, good timing: Gawker Media is hiring. Extra points if you're any good at softball.

• Gawker Media pooped out yet another baby: Introducing Deadspin, our heterosexual attempt at sports blogging!
• Seventeen forced us to learn about the vagina.
• Fox's The O.C. returned to our lonely lives, but not without the Daily News ruining it for us first.
• We wondered if the New York Press' Matt Taibbi had set sail with Sean Penn. You said yes, and the man himself confirmed.
• Martha Stewart kicked off her press tour with a thoughtful stop by the Today show.
• Gay blog Queerty made its debut, sponsored by the equally gay Navy.
• Radar finally found its home.
• We confirmed that, as we suspected, Anna Wintour wears the pants around Men's Vogue — that is, when she's able to stay on her feet.
• We lost our innocence regarding taxicops.
• We asked for your help in selling out.

We've gone through life with a sports-obsessed little brother, so it's the most natural feeling in the world for us to welcome the Gawker Media family's newest bundle of cynical joy, Deadspin.

It's no secret that you, our readers, are far more intelligent than we could ever hope to be. That's why you all have real jobs, whereas your darling editors toil away in a subterranean landfill, living for little more than our daily handle of flammable 5 O'Clock vodka. You, however, are smart, savvy, cosmopolitan, genius sexpots. Our headgear-wearing asses can hold nary a candle to your smooth, supple derrieres.

To our sponsors, we thank you for being you. That is all. Interested in becoming the object of our fleeting sincerity? More info here.

Found on the RSS feed of our serious-minded brother.
Maybe it's time to tweak our ad feeds.

Yesterday we reported on Tuesday night's New Yorker-Gawker Media softball extravaganza in Central Park. Our summary:

Unfortunately, his lucky Gap khakis failed him.

Because we live to serve:

Thanks to this week's advertisers, whose cold hard cash keeps us well-stocked in all the pepper spray necessary to survive EDGY NYC. Interested in accessing our gritty, tough readers and keeping editors safely protected? More info here.

It's hot, you're whiney, and our advertisers Gawker wants to help. That's right, kids: It's FREE STUFF TIME! Yay!

• CNN's American Morning moving from street-level studio to CNN newsroom, leaving Midwestern tourists with a mere four street-level morning shows in Midtown to flock to. [NYDN]
• Finally, a prosecutor decides against subpoenaing a Times reporter. [Miami Herald]
• The Wen Ho Lee case against the Times and others, however, continues. And could be much worse for journalists. [Boston Phoenix]
• Rumor has it a Times reporter is skulking around Philadelphia, looking for sources on a "sixth borough" story. Anyone know Jenny 8.'s whereabouts? [Philebrity, third item]
• Now Trump's blogging, too. Is the shark finally jumped? [TechWeb]
• Apparently we're not making sweet love to anyone at Page Six. (We're not? That was all so long ago that at this point, we've forgotten the details.) In other breaking news, it seems we work in our pajamas and like cheap drinks. Who knew? [RS]

From: Roger Friedman
Date: 11:34* AM August 5 2005
To: Gawker
Subject: here's my quote—You people are freaks. Get a life.

Thanks to this week's sponsors, whose blood money funds our trendy meth lab. Interested in becoming an enabler? More info here.

We love our existing interns; we really do. We wouldn't trade them for anything. But they've been trained to salivate only when Jessica rings the bell, and, well, Jesse's dry cleaning isn't picking itself up. So there are some new openings in the mighty Gawker Intern ranks.

Dear Gawker Readers,

• Cast your vote for Conde's hottest nasties; logistical reasoning behind the nominations can be found here.
• A sloppy kiss and a burning dry hump to the hottest men at the Gray Lady, Gawker Hotties winners Will Shortz and Warren St. John.
• Rupert Murdoch's spawn, Lachlan, resigns from News Corp. We don't know why, but we do know he's too attractive to be of the demonic Murdoch blood.
• Radar is back for issue numero dos, and Maer Roshan claims the first issue sold out in NY, LA, and Tampa. Turns out: Not so much.
• Gawker Media embraces fresh air and takes to the field for a game of softball with the staff of The Onion, who insist on playing in the dark until the score is tied.
• Are Sam Champion and Mike Piazza going to make sweet, sweet love in their grand beachfront home?
• We thought Eric Alterman was hiring, but it turns out he already has some dismembered help.
• Jann Wenner joins the Apprentice spin-off club. Some of you are not pleased.

JessicaGawker: hey, got a sec? i need to talk about something.
MarkDefamer: uh oh. you ok?
JessicaGawker: not really. So...
JessicaGawker: what's up with laguna beach?
MarkDefamer: hahaha
JessicaGawker: seriously, it's driving me insane! is it HALF reality? completely scripted?!
MarkDefamer: it's supposedly ALL reality
JessicaGawker: it is in NO way 100% reality. their names are different in real life.
MarkDefamer: i'm baffled by it.
JessicaGawker: i want a definitive explanation from MTV.
MarkDefamer: i think no one has the answer. it's like trying to describe the color of the wind, or what God tastes like.
JessicaGawker: MTV has the answer. and i want to know.
MarkDefamer: but if you know, won't it become less special?
JessicaGawker: i'm willing to sacrifice "special" for the truth, mark.