It is important for everyone to express their creativity and sense of humor. But does asserting your individuality really need to involve giving your wifi network a wacky name? And do you really need to call it "FBI SURVEILLANCE VAN?" You're freaking me out.
For most babysitters, taking an infant for a ride in the stroller means securing the baby in one and then gently pushing the child down the sidewalk. For Florida resident Keyona Davis, it apparently means putting the baby and stroller into a truck bed and then taking the kid for a drive on some of Daytona Beach's busiest roadways. Davis was arrested and charged with child neglect on Wednesday. Video of her bad babysitting behavior is above. [WESH]
Hypochondriacs stop reading now, because there is an outbreak of deadly brain-eating amoebas. OK, only three cases so far, but still, there is a scary parasite out there in lakes and ponds just waiting to eat out your brain like a little zombie. Not even neti pots are safe!
Police raided Florida's Haven Acres Cat Sanctuary (population: 692 fewer cats than they had before), and in doing so uncovered "the biggest case of cat hoarding the Humane Society of the United States has ever participated in." The proprietors of said kitty slum, Pennie and Steven Lefkowitz, are each facing 47 counts of animal cruelty, which includes one for a neglected rooster. All charges are third-degree felonies.
Times Square has cleaned up a lot over the last 20 years or so! But there's still no better place on earth to die with drugs in your pocket. Especially if you're the pastor of a huge church in Florida.
Lawyers for America's most hated former mother Casey Anthony are fighting her court-ordered probation in Florida. She either wants the probation eliminated due to "time served," or the location moved somewhere else. There have been multiple motions, one judge had to recuse himself, and another judge has called the whole situation "a mess." This lady's life is neverending disaster.
23-year-old David Dowling and his buddy were busted for stealing a life-size cutout of Justin Bieber from an F.Y.E. in a Florida mall. (They still have those!?) He told the cops: "We were just having fun holding Justin Bieber hostage."
Althea Ricketts says that where she comes from, hitting kids with computer cables is a "common" way to discipline them. This is ostensibly why she allegedly she beat her son with a computer cable for having a Facebook page.
Did you know you can get arrested for popping your zits in public? Well, maybe not you, because you don't have warrants out for your arrest. (Do you?) But if you are Owen Lemire Kato of Cape Coral, Florida, and have an OxyContin syringe in your pocket and outstanding drug-related arrests, and spend ten minutes popping the zits on your back outside a local McDonald's, and it ruins everyone's appetites, and some crazy person actually calls the cops to report you for grossing them out?
A Florida man is under arrest after attempting to run away from police who were responding to complaints that he'd been disgusting McDonald's patrons by popping zits on his back.
Florida Gov. Rick Scott is still digging deep for anything, anything that can restore his approval ratings from their comically low lows. His latest scheme involves pretending to work various shitty low-wage jobs, to prove... something. Yesterday, for example, he worked the counter at a Tampa donut shop. This was a great opportunity for the locals to visit said donut shop and call him an asshole. [via]
Philip Cabibi, a 31-year-old applications administrator in Utah, sat at his computer one recent Sunday evening and performed one of the compulsive rituals of the Internet Age: the ego search. He typed his name into Google to take a quick survey of how the internet sees him, like a glance in the mirror.
Not to be preachy, or anything, but, if you ever find a "brick of an unknown substance" floating in the ocean, you should "just say no" to snorting it. Especially if you are a 53-year-old on a fishing trip.
