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Stephen Colbert Exposes the Dangers of Government-Funded Birth Control

Matt Cherette · 08/03/11 11:36PM

On Monday, the Department of Health and Human Services announced that health insurance companies must fully cover birth control for women beginning next August. Which is great! But on tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert—aided by a couple of conservative loons—pointed out the dangers of such a mandate. A clip of the segment is above.

Avril Lavigne Narrowly Escapes Attack During Concert in Brazil

Matt Cherette · 08/03/11 11:31PM

During a concert in Belo Horizonte, Brazil on Tuesday, Avril Lavigne was about to begin a cover of Coldplay's "Fix You" when a rogue superfan approached her after gaining access to the stage. Lavigne's security team acted quickly to remove the assailant, but not before she let out a fearful shriek, as you'll see in the video above. [via ONTD]

Jon Stewart Blasts 'Spoiled Children' in Congress for Underwhelming Debt Deal

Matt Cherette · 08/03/11 10:25PM

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart briefly celebrated the fact that, despite the fight it took to get there, Congress finally reached a deal to raise the nation's debt ceiling. But then Stewart noted just how little the deal will actually reduce the deficit, at which point he gave the "spoiled children" in Congress a piece of his mind.

The Hilariously Bad Disguises of the German Secret Police

Max Read · 08/03/11 10:07PM

Check out these great cold war-era photos of some totally normal East German citizens, who are definitely not members of the secret police! How innocuous they are, these completely non-suspicious-looking gentlemen, who could not possibly be Stasi officers in disguise, especially not the fellow in sunglasses and the enormous fur coat with the upturned collar. Nope, just some regular guys.

We Used to Have Another Moon, Until Our Moon Murdered It

Max Read · 08/03/11 08:56PM

Scientists have long puzzled over the odd shape of the Moon: One side is "dominated by low-lying lava plains" while the other is "composed of highlands." But we may finally know why! Because the moon is a murderer.

Mark Zuckerberg's Sister Is Out at Facebook

Ryan Tate · 08/03/11 06:17PM

After advocating the end of anonymity, Randi Zuckerberg slipped a bit further into it, leaving her job at Facebook. Let's hope her stock options were vested. Also in today's Valleywag roundup, more Airbnb complaints from readers, Yahoo Mail went down, and Ashton Kutcher was shown up on Twitter.

Chris Colfer's Modest Song Shack

Richard Lawson · 08/03/11 06:10PM

Golden Globe Award-winning gay angel Chris Colfer, who beams beatifically as Kurt on Glee, has purchased himself his own little home in Laurel Canyon. Look how cute and unattractive it is!

Swedish Prime Minister's Kid Gets Job at McDonald's

Maureen O'Connor · 08/03/11 05:33PM

Well, this upends everything I thought I knew about Scandinavians and children of privilege: Gustaf Reinfeldt, 18-year-old son of the Swedish prime minister Fredrik Reinfeldt, recently got a job flipping burgers at a McDonald's in Stockholm.

Kirstie Alley Is Back in Business

Richard Lawson · 08/03/11 05:16PM

Phat actress Kirstie Alley has a new TV show in the works, so she is a working actress again! Also today: Saturday Night Live lands some funny hosts, Lauren Ambrose takes a big musical role, and Ashton Kutcher is sad and rich.

The Horribly Dressed Men of Tech

Ryan Tate · 08/03/11 04:55PM

GQ released a list of the "15 worst dressed men in tech," which is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel; engineers are hardly known as fashion plates. Indeed, the magazine was so overwhelmed with badly dressed techies it left a few people off its list.

L.A. Fitness Members Want the Body of an Old Lady

Hamilton Nolan · 08/03/11 03:46PM

Chocolate workout! Smaller gyms! Drummer warrior! Fast pushups! Helen Mirren! Tween athletes! Vegetarian benefits! Heart exercise! And Americans are still fat, all of us! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—plyometrixplosively!

Go Yell at Florida's Governor, at the Donut Shop!

Jim Newell · 08/03/11 03:29PM

Florida Gov. Rick Scott is still digging deep for anything, anything that can restore his approval ratings from their comically low lows. His latest scheme involves pretending to work various shitty low-wage jobs, to prove... something. Yesterday, for example, he worked the counter at a Tampa donut shop. This was a great opportunity for the locals to visit said donut shop and call him an asshole. [via]

Rick Perry's Killing of an Innocent Man Is Somehow a Political Asset

Jim Newell · 08/03/11 02:51PM

Probable presidential candidate Rick Perry, like other Texas governors, has a history of executing tons of people. The most famous case is that of Cameron Todd Willingham, who was executed under Perry for burning down his home with his three children inside, even though there's significant evidence that he didn't do it. How will Perry ever get past this in a presidential primary? Trick question! He doesn't have to "get past" anything, because Republican primary voters like him for doing this.

Amazon's Creepy Tax Dodge Training

Ryan Tate · 08/03/11 01:41PM

Amazon.com really, really does not want to collect sales tax from its customers. But that's not just the online retailer's problem: If you work for Amazon, the tax obsession means you need permission to visit certain states, and might not be able to send certain emails when you get there. In some instances, you won't even be able to identify yourself as working for Amazon.com.

Mitch McConnell Brags About 'Ransoming' the President

Jim Newell · 08/03/11 01:29PM

Sen. Mitch McConnell, the evil procedural genius who somehow always manages to be the most powerful person in Washington from his lowly perch as Senate minority leader, doesn't take offense when people call him and his party "hostage-takers." He rather fancies the title! But he does want to clear up the details of how and why he loves taking legislative hostages.