Piers Morgan has repeatedly claimed—falsely!—that he never countenanced or encountered voicemail hacking during his tenure as editor of the Daily Mirror. Now Heather Mills has come forward to claim that a reporter for the Mirror's parent company confessed to her in 2001 that the paper had surreptitiously gained access to a voicemail message Paul McCartney left for her after the couple had a fight. The trouble for Morgan is that he openly admitted to having listened to that very voicemail message—recounting it in detail—in 2007. Whoops.

Ark Music Factory pioneered the internet hate slingshot with Rebecca Black, catapulting her from dire cyberbullying victim to mainstream fame. It appears that's also their strategy with their newest terrible music video.

Just a day after being sued for flubbing his T-shirt line, Jersey Shore snake oil salesman The Situation has inked a deal to promote a line of tuxedos and formal wear related products. Yeah, cause nothing says "black tie" like someone known for wearing wifebeaters and having orange skin.

The runaway peacock that flew the coop at the Central Park Zoo in favor of a windowsill at a co-op in the Upper East Side returned home on its own volition this morning, zoo officials say. Now it's back at its boring small-time roost, hanging out with the boring small-time peacock friends it grew up with, smoking cigarettes and sighing about how the other peacocks just don't understand what it's like to be young and free in New York. [WNYC, image via AnimalNY]

Are coffee shops, of all fucking places, going to become the latest bastion of rudeness in our society, in which a fellow American who simply wants to purchase a cup of coffee and sit quietly, for nine hours, typing on a laptop, with papers and shit spread out all over the table as if this is his personal fucking office, is "not welcome?"

Octomom Nadya Suleman has disrobed again, this time for America's trashiest magazine Steppin' Out.

GLAAD, the spayed and neutered gay media watchdog, released its annual Network Responsibility Index, which charts the gay content of television networks. Guess what they found? The highest percentage of programming with gay and lesbian characters is targeted at young audiences.

If you put something on a computer these days, you're basically "Here, hackers, have this." But who's doing all the hacking? The world's biggest hack attack has been revealed, and it's probably China. Welcome to... "Operation Shady Rat."

Bad news, people who go to the store with the express purpose of purchasing Miller Lite™ brand beer: Ad Age reports that Miller Lite is growing steadily less popular. And during the "all-important summer beer-selling season"!

Here's a trailer for In Time, a thriller about a future world in which people, if they can afford it, never age past 25. So your mom could look like Olivia Wilde forever and you could look like Justin Timberlake.

Prince William and Kate Middleton rub shoulders with normals. Katie Holmes barks like a dog. Samantha Ronson's mugshot is everything you hoped for. Paris Hilton and Brittny Gastineau have a party-off. Wednesday gossip keeps its toiletries in 3-oz. containers.

This actor lied about a recent injury, which really occurred when drunkenly playing "naked ninja" with an antique sword. Also today: A celeb wants to be a mommy, a talk show host trades air time for sex, and a filthy celebrity tattoo artist.

Deposed Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak appeared in court today to face charges of corruption and ordering the killing of unarmed protesters earlier this year. He was wheeled in on a hospital bed acting the part of a sad old man, along with his klepto scumbag sons, Gamal and Alaa. Hard times for the Mubaraks. So, in honor of Hosni's not so glorious return to Cairo, here's a quick look at the man in happier times.

An Illinois man pleaded guilty on Tuesday to having illegally purchased Tetrodotoxin — the neurotoxin naturally found in puffer fish, aka the stuff you hope the sushi chef leaves out of your fugu — which he'd planned to use to kill his wife and collect on her $20 million life insurance settlement.

Finally, Oprah Winfrey will be publicly recognized for her various achievements. What took this long?! The Motion Picture Academy has just announced that the floundering basic cable mascot will receive the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award — an honorary Oscar awarded to "an individual in the motion picture industry whose humanitarian efforts have brought credit to the industry." And who has, uh, accredited Hollywood more that Winfrey has, selflessly donating thousands upon thousands of hours of precious airtime to needy friends like Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks to promote their totally shitty movies? No one! All hail Saint Oprah! (James Earl Jones is getting one, too.) [Reuters, photo via Getty]

It's been more than six months—and several talk show appearances—since Ricky Gervais made all those controversial jokes at the Golden Globes, so surely he's done talking about it, right? Not so much, actually, as you'll see in this exchange Gervais had with David Letterman on tonight's Late Show, during which he said "I don't think I should" when asked if he'd host the awards show again.

Faye Dunaway is a much-feared resident of West Hollywood. That's pretty much common knowledge. Ask around a bit, and you're sure to hear a tale or two about the star of Mommie Dearest and Network terrorizing a Koo Koo Roo or holding an El Salvadorian car wash employee hostage with a barbecue lighter. And like any Norma Desmond worth her salt, Dunaway has more than a few skeletons squirreled away in her closet. Some of them are literal skeletons of Thai food delivery boys who'd forgotten her chicken satay. Others, however, are figurative skeletons — shadily held property holdings, for example, such as the one-bedroom walk-up on East 78th St. she's been calling her "primary residence" since 1994.

12-year-old Ronan Parke is the breakout star of the current season of Britain's Got Talent. Here's a video of him covering Lady Gaga's "The Edge of Glory." He's not half bad but—just like his lesbian counterpart—we can't get past Ronan's uncanny resemblance to Justin Bieber. That hair! [via BuzzFeed]

Do you see this rat, in the picture above? This is the "African crested" or "maned" rat. Do not eat this rat. Its hair is poisonous.

During a Daily Show segment about the News of the World phone hacking scandal on July 20, Jon Stewart included footage of Britain's parliament. But when the show aired in the U.K. last week, the segment was absent, apparently due to a law that prevents the airing of parliamentary proceedings in a satirical context. Stewart didn't appreciate the censorship, and he took to tonight's program to air his grievances.