What does North Korea look like? Not too different from anywhere else—just emptier.

Ladies! Are you a bank teller? Are you looking for love? Meet Richard "Geovanni Kasanova" Dames, a 33-year-old Bronx resident who's looking for love. Also, he might use you to steal bank customers' identities.

President Obama turned 50 on Thursday and the stock market responded by crashing, so it's safe to say that any birthday celebrations at the White House today were probably a bit subdued. But what did Obama do to mark the occasion? On tonight's Late Show, David Letterman ventured some guesses as part of his Top 10 list. Video of the segment is above.

Roseanne Barr has a new TV show to promote (it's called Roseanne's Nuts and it airs on Lifetime, apparently), so tonight when she visited the The Tonight Show, she went for broke and announced to Jay Leno that she plans to run for president. Yes, as in President of the United States. Is that more or less ridiculous that the idea of Kelsey Grammer running for the nation's highest office? Hard to say, but you can watch the faded sitcom star try and explain her platform to Jay Leno above.

This particular class of legislators is, we can all agree, an exceptionally stupid group of people. But they are more than just stupid! They are also widely hated: A new poll has congress' disapproval rating at 82 percent—the lowest since the poll was first taken in 1977.

In the days following 9/11, rescuers discovered a cross-shaped steel beam in the rubble. The cross became a symbol of hope at Ground Zero over the years and was recently installed at the National September 11 Memorial and Museum, but its placement there was threatened last week by a lawsuit filed by an atheist group. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart wasted no time declaring what side he was on when he blasted the atheists, asking, "Why do you give a shit?" Video of Stewart's segment is above.

Now, you can make all the assumptions you want about 22-year-old pizza restaurant employees who are big fans of Hello Kitty, but it doesn't make them true! Except in the case of Erik Epperson, who allegedly had sex with several underage girls.

Remember Kevin Michael Barba, the "openly gay, up and coming New York socialite" who materialized in our inbox last week after his parents' secretary emailed us looking for a publicist referral? Well, he's back. So what's the teenager with "millions of dollars at his disposal" up to this week? He's doing amateur interviews on the streets of New York, of course. And he's as modest and down to earth as ever, as you'll see in the video above. [via Boy Culture]

What is New Hampshire like? Not many people know! This is what it's like: If a thief steals your wallet, he will return it, with more money inside, along with an apology note signed "Stupid."

Not everyone can be young and good-looking and Australian and backpacking across the world at every given moment! Which is why God invented "videos," so you can watch other people do all those things—and edit them together so they look really cool—from the comfort of the desk that is slowly killing you.

After blogging about her terrible experience with Airbnb, San Franciscan "EJ" was hit with various insinuations from company supporters—that she's a liar, that she's crazy, or worse. Now her sister is lashing prominent startup adviser Paul Graham and blogger Robert Scoble for their treatment of EJ. Excerpts in today's Valleywag roundup, along with John Mayer's social media advice and the hack war in Korea.

A new photo of the caped crusader dark knight whatever Superman is called has been released! Also today: Sarah Michelle Gellar gets soapy, America's Next Top Modelgets nostalgic, and heaven has found an angel.

Alexander technique! HIV trends! Antidepressant popularity! Imaginary wrinkles! Expensive food! Sick ticks! Scorpion medicine! Elderly genes! And some very special research by scientist perv pornographers! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—maniacally!

Have you ever wanted a nip and tuck but didn't want to have to leave the courtesy of your own home? Well, if you can afford this $20 million Upper East Side mansion, you can finally have your own fully functioning operating room!

Jimmy Wales, the iconoclastic founder of Wikipedia, made a troubling announcement at the seventh annual Wikipedia conference: Nobody wants to edit Wikipedia anymore. Is Wikipedia going to shrivel up and fade away?

Literally breaking: A "rowdy 23-year-old" snuck onto the set of Beyonce's music video set in a trailer park and screamed, "I can be a better dancer!" then threw an egg at a cop. So, the trespasser was either a wannabe backup dancer who just happened to have a raw egg in his pocket (comes in handy for spontaneous souffle-offs) or someone who is a better dancer than Beyonce. Baryshnikov, maybe.

The human buoys over at Fox News' morning brain drain Fox & Friends were doing a little of this earlier today and discussing an educational video shown to kids by the Department of Education in which beloved character SpongeBob Squarepants learns about human-made global warming.

There are tons of time-lapse videos on the internet—you know, the ones in which everything is sped up over a dramatic soundtrack—but many of the ones we've seen have been set in New York. Here's one that finally does L.A. some justice.

Congressional Republicans have become quite talented at taking legislative "hostages" at crucial junctures, making extreme demands, unifying behind them, and ultimately rolling Democrats into embracing horrible pieces of legislation. Maybe it's time for Democrats to come up with a plan for this sort of thing. So are they? Sorta.

For many sports fans, Bubba Smith, who died yesterday at the age of 66, was the legendary defensive end for the Baltimore Colts. But for movie buffs, he'll always be remembered as Moses Hightower, the most badass member of the Police Academy squad. Here are some of his most memorable moments from the classic comedy franchise.