It's sure gotta be rough being stuck in the riots in North London (just ask Gawker alum Ravi Somaiya), but for those of you who want to experience it all very quickly and without bodily injury, here is a handy time-lapse video of the fires burning.

The release date for the second movie has been announced and it is a long time from now. Also today: the end of Desperate Housewives, two Southerners finally get together, and it's goodbye to the gay on Gossip Girl.

Should Mike Moradian get a Harvard MBA? Or should Mike Moradian forever change education with his awesome web startup? Mike Moradian is tortured by this decision, so he has asked the nation to think about what will make the brightest possible future for Mike Moradian and then to get back to Mike Moradian with a recommendation. Don't you already want to help?

Nafissatou Diallo, the hotel maid who says disgraced French politician Dominique Strauss-Kahn raped her, launched a civil lawsuit today.

Kenneth Moreno, the NYPD officer acquitted in May of charges that he raped a drunk woman in her West Village apartment, has been sentenced to a year in prison for "official misconduct." Not for rape, though.

The Schwarzenegger-Shriver divorce just crossed the threshold from "slightly tense" to "blatantly bellicose." (Playfully bellicose?) Arnold went biking in an "I SURVIVED MARIA" t-shirt on Sunday, TMZ reports.

Did Fox News host a momentary feminist triumph today? Why, yes, I think it did. Megyn Kelly invited blowhard radio host Mike Gallagher on her show, and played back audio from the time he scoffed, "Megyn's still on maternity leave, isn't she? Boy, what a racket that is." Select excerpts from the verbal pillaging:

To be completely honest with you, the day at the stock market did not go well. The Dow was down 634 points. Which is, we have to tell you, not good. It's actually the sixth largest one-day drop in history.

President Obama addressed the S&P — or as he put it, "some agency" — credit downgrade of U.S. sovereign debt, among other things, during a brief White House speech today. He even promised that America, despite everything, will "always be a AAA country." That's sweet of you to say, Dad.

Reporting live from a helicopter above London's riot-ravaged streets today, a Sky News camera zoomed in on a man in a hooded anorak, who then turned around and broke some news of his own: His butt crack.

Death-loving prayer overlord Rick Perry is getting ready to launch a presidential campaign, it appears! And in his first act as a kinda-maybe frontrunner, he plans to screw over Tim Pawlenty and/or Michele Bachmann in Iowa.

Twitter, the growing microblog juggernaut, basks in the glory of its celebrity users and the so-called "Twitter revolutions." Decaying BlackBerry, meanwhile, is experiencing the unpleasant flipside of product association.

Lifetime announced today that it plans to air Project Runway All Stars, a spin-off series with all new judges and 13 of our "favorite" contestants returning to compete again. Naturally, the idea made me a little bit excited, but then I realized, why do we need to watch these losers again?

Joe McGinniss, the journalist who briefly lived next door to the Palins, reports that Track Palin's wife Britta Hanson has given birth to her child, a girl named Kyla Grace Palin. As predicted, the birth was a bit earlier than abstinence advocates may have expected—three months after the Track and Britta's well-publicized wedding, and a couple weeks shy of the due date on Britta's rumored baby registry. [JoeMcGinniss]

You know when a little kid sees a pregnant lady drinking a glass of OJ, and he's like "No! The baby will drown!" Turns out he's kind of right. The mother-to-be is drowning her baby in flavor, and it will impact the baby's palate forever, a new study finds. NPR reports:

Bravo honcho Andy Cohen programmed himself onto the network to host the Real Housewives reunions and gave himself his own show. But that wasn't enough. Now he's writing a book about growing up loving pop culture and suppressing his homosexuality as a child. It's called Obviously Andy: The Dandy Andy Story of Growing up Andy Cohen by Andy Cohen by Andrew Cohen. OK, not really, but it does come out next summer.

Former New York Times restaurant critic and overall NYT star Frank Bruni was named an Op-Ed columnists last May, just after Frank Rich's departure. We had high hopes! We were promised that Bruni's column would be "a sharp, opinionated look at a big event of the last week, from a different or unexpected angle, or a small event that was really important but everyone seems to have missed, or something entirely different." How's that going?

Last night's episode of Everyday Italians featured the ringing in of the New Year, that grand tradition of celebrating time's zooming pace with confetti and alcohol and dancing. It's a nice tradition! One that not even these ghouls could muck up.

"I never gave up hope. I prayed, meditated, and now he's with us again," 47-year-old Bonni Marcus said upon being reunited beloved monkey doll Bongo, who went missing in Park Slope last week. Bonni and monkey doll dad Jack Zinzi the toy from monkey doll rescuer Luis Barreto's Park Slope apartment on Saturday. The New York Post reports:

One tactic Wikipedia has seized on to combat its dwindling number of editors is to try to attract more women to its ranks of geeky white dudes. Plus, they can edit all the girl stuff.