Seven years ago in Massachusetts, Bradford Wells married his long-time partner, Anthony John Makk. They have now been together for 19 years. Sometime this week — by Thursday at the latest — Anthony John Makk will be forcibly removed from the country. He is Australian, and the government has denied him permanent residency. Which it can do, because the federal government doesn't recognize same-sex marriage.

It's been clear for some time now that the media is ignoring Ron Paul. Now it's a mathematical fact. Pew Research has crunched the numbers, and it turns out the media's giving less love to Ron Paul than to fellow presidential candidate Jon Huntsman.

You know how socialist billionaire Warren Buffett wrote that column last week where he said, "cut the coddling shit, government bros—I want to be taxed more," or something to that effect, and just about everybody tweeted it? Yeah, well, Charles Koch didn't like that column very much.

Brady Harrington, who last November was elected to his second term as mayor of Sodaville, Oregon, isn't mayor anymore, because his city council peers were tired of him never showing up for meetings and replaced him. Available job alert!

Saucy LiLo shows up to the Kardashianganza dressed in a long white gown accessorized with major cleavage. Chely Wright weds. Christina Aguilera wants to wed. And Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller might wed again. Today's Gossip Roundup is an overworked bridesmaid with cake all over her dress.

Photographer Stephen Wilkes takes photos of the same spot in Manhattan for 10 hours and then blends the photos together in one seamless collage, giving the effect that it's one of those time-lapse videos all in one frame.

While CNN reporter Kareen Wynter valiantly tried to provide significant details about the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries nuptials to the American people, some kid—some punk—mocked the seriousness of this most historic matrimonial event and related gown news.

Libyan leader/fashion icon Muammar Gaddafi might have to file for unemployment soon, as it seems rebel fighters in his country—emphasis on "his," at least until now—have put down their bongs and taken control of several cities. Now they're gearing up to take over Tripoli, the Libyan capital city. Like, for real this time.

Everybody say hello to Dale McDaniel, your new favorite Floridian! He's 52, has been arrested at least 34 times, allegedly shouts obscenities at people and pisses in his trash-strewn yard, drinks pretty much constantly, and has left an indelible impression upon his neighbors, many of whom say they fear him.

If mass graves filled with the bodies of murdered tourists haven't dissuaded you from making Acapulco your vacation/honeymoon/extramarital affair destination yet, this might do the trick: headless corpses have been turning up all over the seaside town, according to Mexican authorities.

True story! I used to work for James "The Amazing" Randi, the famed magician-turned-arch-skeptic, at his foundation in Fort Lauderdale, where we combated psychics and faith-healers and exorcists and all kinds of predatory bullshit slingers. The reaction Mr. Randi most frequently elicited from angry believers: "What's the harm? So what if I want to believe in [magic/psychics/prayer/reincarnation/heaven/ghosts/angels]? Believing gives people hope!"

The 45,000 or so unionized Verizon workers who have been on strike since August 7 will go back to work on Tuesday under an extension to their existing contract, while negotiators for both sides are still trying to agree on a new and not necessarily improved contract.

If you've watched The Daily Show regularly over the years, you may have noticed that Jon Stewart has a tendency to ask his guests if he can... ask them a question. You haven't? Allow us to present to you 12 years of Stewart's pre-question questions in less than three minutes. Spoiler: nobody ever says no.

If we were a cop, we'd probably use our Taser sparingly—because sometimes Tasered people die or burst into flames, and that's just too much drama. So we'd definitely not go around Tasering people "just to see what happens," is what we're saying.

Labor Day is almost upon us, people, which means we need to get in our fix of celebrities of all stripes parading around in next to nothing at the beach. Let's take advantage while we still can!

Heidi Klum, the woman of a million bikinis, hangs out on the beach with her baby seal. Wait, I mean, her baby (comma) Seal. [Images via INF and Flynet]

Earlier this week we learned that dogs are good for your respiratory system because they can smell your lung cancer. But are dogs also maybe bad for your lungs, because they manufacture poop that's loaded with airborne bacteria?

Maybe you were out enjoying the summer weather all week and couldn't check your favorite Gawker Media sites. Or maybe you're leaving town for the weekend and want one last distraction before you hit the road. Well, whatever the case, we've got you covered. Here are some of the most amusing and entertaining videos we watched during the week that was.

American princess Kim Kardashian and her towering beau are changing their tax status. Charlie Sheen and his once-upon-a-time bride Brooke Mueller are celebrating sobriety, of all things, in Mexico. Lady Gaga's been surfing. Today's Gossip Roundup is strutting down the aisle in a satiny white gown, taking your breath away.

You know why Texas has the highest birth rate in the nation? And the highest incidence of repeat teen pregnancies? It's all the sex!

Without presenting any evidence whatsoever to back up their claim, Iranian authorities have sentenced American hikers Joshua Fattal and Shane Bauer to five years in prison for spying for the United States. And you thought American justice was bad!