The lawyers are safely locked away in a supply closet, so we're ready to share your answers to today's blind item. Before moving on, reheat the spoon of One Needling Blind Vice:
Los Angeles, it has been said, is a town built on dreams. And for three lucky body parts models, those dreams are about to come true:
Defamer is committed to providing a forum in which reality television contestants can air their grievances against Donald Trump, Mark Burnett, and the editors who conspire to make the public believe that they are yo-yo-obsessed incompetents. After pleading his case to NY Daily News JV gossip Lloyd Grove yesterday, fired Apprentice contestant Mark "Markus" Garrison proves once again that he will defend himself to anyone who will listen by e-mailing us. (Desperate times, desperate measures, etc etc.) Writes Garrison:
Fox may not be killing Arrested Development, but it's stabbing it in the gut, rolling it out of the passenger side door, and leaving it for dead by the side of the road. Variety reports that Fox is pulling the show from the schedule during sweeps (along with Kitchen Confidential, but we doubt its fans will be sending any foam Hail Marys to save it), and has reduced its order from 22 to 13 episodes. We'd tearfully lament the fact that we live in a world where Fox flips pancakes for the re-launch of Stacked while plotting AD's demise, but a) as we all know by now, we're dead inside, and b) Stacked probably won't survive past December, either.
Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are authored by our readers; send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put “sighting” or “PrivacyWatch” in the subject line, unless you want us to lose your hard work) and let the world know that you recognize Jerry from Real Genius.
· Sensing that there might be a few more dollars to be squeezed from The Terminator franchise, Fox commits to a pilot for The Sarah Connor Chronicles, which will also have "a link" to a possible future big-screen trilogy. Would someone please travel back in time and kill us during the closing credits of Terminator 2? Thanks, we'd really appreciate that. Things were so much less cynical then. [Variety]
· Paramount finally makes a honest man out of unstoppable hugging machine John Lesher, officially announcing his hiring to run Paramount Classics. [THR]
· Universal backs up a dump-truck full of cash for a package of the film rights to Malcolm Gladwell's nonfiction bestseller Blink, a deal for Stephen Gaghan to direct and write, and one for Leonardo DiCaprio to star. The pitch was based on a single chapter from the book involving someone who's good at reading faces and body language, which in a quintessentially Hollywood way inspired Gaghan to exclaim, "That's a movie!" Probably while chomping on a cigar and being serviced by someone from the typing pool. [Variety]
· Those half-dozen letter writers from the Parents Television Council kept themselves very busy in the third quarter, as FCC indecency complaints jumped fourfold in that timeframe. [THR]
· Joey co-creator Shana Goldberg seeks to singlehandedly save the moribund sitcom with a groundbreaking pilot for ABC about two sisters, one raised rich, while the other was poor. Are we expected to believe she developed that concept all by herself? [Variety]
Wherein we invite our readers to strand themselves on humpy E! gossip-castaway Ted Casablanca's desert island of sun-bleached prose and guess the identity of his blind item. Today, Ted abandons the relatively cheery world of cocaine abuse for the darker territory between a certain actress's toes. Tie off One Needling Blind Vice:
From the Every Time Paris Hilton Farts, A Thousand Gossip Item Angels Get Their Wings Dept: Nicole Richie is all OMG! That whore Paris is like, totally calling me in the middle of the night and flushing the toilet! Ewwww! What a bitch:
· We don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about the age difference between Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. He's older than her tits, and that should be good enough for everyone. And if you were too impatient to wait until you finished this item to follow that link, you probably don't know that the photo is fake.
· We really hope that the ghostwriter who produced Nicole Richie's novel was well compensated for his or her time. It should make the eternal bath in hellflame a little easier to bear.
· When the forced internment in your church's Redemption Camp isn't quite enough, there's Hetracil.
· Coming soon to a Jay Leno punchline near you: Billy Joel returning to the road in January.
· If you somehow missed the incredible story of those lesbian cheerleaders, Deadspin's got you covered.
Even if occasionally he needs to turn elsewhere for some of life's little comforts, Kevin Spacey is nonetheless a huge fan of his adopted hometown, London. And the feeling is mutual so much so that Spacey has had to invent a device by which he could satisfy his many fans' requests for autographs without the inconvenience of having to look at their faces or speak to them. He calls his little contraption a glory hole an autograph flap!
· Wednesday night music potpourri: Jamiroquai at the Wiltern; Kate Earl at the Troubadour; and Bedroom Walls at the Silverlake Lounge.
· Ever wanted to chat with a real P.I. without worrying about those bothersome wiretaps? The LA Press Club hosts "Learning From Private Investigators," a discussion for journalists interested in picking up some of the tricks of the trade.
· BPM Magazine celebrates the release of its Indie Mafia issue at Nacional. Coverboy Steve "Kid Millionaire" Aoki spins, and we know we're going out on a limb here, but we suspect Mark "The Cobrasnake" Hunter might be lurking around with that camera.
Browsing the guestbook entries of recently fired Desperate Housewives actor Page Kennedy's website is a sad affair. In reverse chronology, it tells the tale of a young man who, against all odds, broke free from the hard streets of his upper-middle class upbringing to make it in Hollywood, only to have his career-making role, The Guy Under The Mysterious Black Neighbors Stairs, yanked away from him due to an as yet indeterminate "improper conduct."
A spy sends us this behind-the-scenes tip from the medium-friendly offices of Entertainment Tonight, where sweeps stuntpeople sometimes lend their gifts to mundane tasks. Our minds are officially blown:
