· Brooklyn-based artsy/indsie rock trio We Are Scientists perform at Cinespace. These guys put on a hell of a show. A Defamer hot pick!
· UCB Theater presents My Space, a completely improvised show based on three My Space audience profiles, or, if you're explaining it to a parent, "A show!" With Best Week Ever's Paul Scheer and Rob Riggle, formerly of SNL.
· Two Ernst Lubitsch comedies screen at the American Cinematheque at the Egyptian Theatre: Ninotchka ("Garbo Laughs!") and Heaven Can Wait (Don Ameche, not Warren Beatty, version).

Let it not be said the wheels of New Mexico justice turn slowly, though a fair case could be made for them turning stupidly. Not a week after slapping David Letterman with a restraining order, telling him to stay at least three yards away from a deranged fan from the Southwestern state, the same judge has reversed his decision:

Never one to let the march of progress pass him or his aspiring rap career by, Kevin Federline has launched his very own website, or, as he puts it, "I figured it was time to be a puttin' my pitchers on that there calculatin' machine." Much like its namesake, the site at the time of posting appears not to be working; luckily the AP offers a description of what you would typically see:

Yes, yes, we know. These pictures make Ricky Martin and his mystery cockpit co-pilot look like they just crash landed Spaceship Ass-Voyager on Gaylon-69, sixth planet from the flaming sun of the Brown Eye Nebula. Go ahead, laugh it up, get it out of your system.

· Munich opens on 532 screens, grossing a respectable $5.7 million in four days. Jews kicking ass: We saw it, we loved it. No kidding. [Variety]
· Further details emerge about the yawn-inducing riveting Microsoft pullout of MSNBC: NBC Universal will own 82% and acquire full management control, MSNBC.com continues at a 50-50 split, and the public's interest level remains unchanged at a steady 0%. [Variety]
· CBS offers free video streaming of Two And A Half Men and How I Met Your Mother on Yahoo! this week. Finally, with the addition of Jon Cryer, the internet has become a vital and viable medium. [Variety]
· 25 films are added to the National Film Registry by the librarian of Congress, James H. Billington, including The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which leads us to believe the librarian of Congress could be hiding in those stacks, stoned and pulling on a pair of fishnets as we speak. [THR]
· The richest man in Australia, media mogul Kerry Packer (bet your heart skipped a Rupert Murdoch-length beat there for a second) has gone on to a better place. We'd make a sensitive joke, but we wouldn't want to see it splashed across tomorrow's Australian headlines as fact. [THR]

Veteran character actor Vincent Schiavelli, aka the morgue-visiting science teacher Mr. Vargas from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, died of lung cancer yesterday at the too-young age of 57. He was a man whose name you may not remember but whose face you most certainly could never forget. His large, droopy features, at the same time kindly and creepy, conjured someone you might sooner meet wandering the spiraling staircases of a medieval Romanic monastery than the sunny streets of LA. From the NY Post obituary:

Mike Myers, the Canadian comedian who brought us such unforgettable comic creations as Wayne Campbell, Austin Powers, and Flabbergasted Katrina Relief Telethon Co-Presenter, has announced the sad news that he and wife of 12-years, Robin Ruzan, will be getting a divorce:

The inviting smell of a roasting turkey, beloved family members catching up after being apart for too long, spit flying from Eva Longoria's bright red face as she cusses someone out from the window of an SUV these are just a few of the cherished traditions we have all come to associate with the holidays. Who of us wasn't touched by her parking attendant-stiffing reminder, "Jesus! It s Thanksgiving. Be nice. FUCK!" Now comes news of this Christmas Eve interaction with San Antonio's finest:

An East Coast operative wintering in the swanky Hamptons enclave of Sag Harbor comes close to running down one of our most beloved leading ladies in this special edition of PrivacyWatch:

What better way to celebrate Christ's Nativity than an evening at the Arclight, whose very name evokes son-of-God virgin birth? Behold, as we lift the miracle holiday weekend numbers to the starry sky, and three wise men look on approvingly (no, not Spielberg, Katzenberg and Geffen; Munich doesn't go into wide release until Jan. 6).

Yes, 'tis that awkward time of year, the chronological taint between Christmas and New Year, usually given off as a freebie thank you for a year of hard work. Not Gawker Media, though, where the electrified ankle restraints are never removed, not even for our bi-weekly alley hosings! Still, in the name of Jesus love, the corporate mothership has decided to let one of us free into the wilderness, equipped with a Bowie knife and a few day's head start, before setting after him in a caravan of Jeep Wranglers for a little New Year's Eve bloodsport. Run, Mark, run! Meanwhile, your trusty associate editor, weighed down by the greasy, starchy remnants of his ongoing latke gluttony-thon, will remain at the helm. And while the spirit of Christmas giving is dead and gone, remember, there's still four more nights of the Jewish festival of "associate editor appreciation." Just make sure to include a gift-receipt our oddly shaped body makes for some tricky sizing issues.

· The LAT gets a tour of Scientology's desert compound, and the accompanying photos haunt our dreams. Meanwhile its VVVVIP guest, Tom Cruise, gives Katie Holmes a completely-against-her-will birthday to remember.
· Hollywood Rumor Mill: Is keychain-bequeathing cash-rich ICM looking to buy Endeavor?
· Britney Spears bitchslaps Us Weekly with a $20 million libel suit.
· 'Tis the season for rabble-rousing corporate year-end e-mails.
· A New Mexico judge grants the other Oprah in David Letterman's life a restraining order against her late night tormentor.
· The crappy Christmas gifts contest has its winner: Congratulations, Untitled Entertainment!
· Demi Moore and Nancy Reagan have a nail salon date with destiny.
· The Joe Francis blackmail video trial is chugging along nicely.
· New York Transit Strike inconveniences a number of celebrities!
· Happy Holidays, Brett Ratner-style.
· Lloyd Grove notices an intesting evolutionary tick in Brad Pitt before swearing to never utter his name again. Having made no such promise ourselves, we run a sighting of Pitt with adopted son Maddox at an Oxnard Sports Chalet.
· Meanwhile that other once cute movie star Brad ain't lookin' so hot lately.
· Ivy Supersonic's one-woman campaign against Fox and others gives those desk drones lucky enough to be near a window something to look at.
· The Chappelle Theory does end up being brilliant parody, leaving us somewhat disappointed.
· All Lindsay Lohan wants for Christmas is to be left alone so that she can text message at the Grove in peace!
· Now Jeremy Piven has more in common with Catherine Zeta-Jones than just being among our most beloved stars.
· Writer seeks whore to help whore himself out.
· We'll be back on Tuesday, Dec. 27.

This holiday season, we wish each and every one of you health, happiness, and peace on earth, all of which is virtually impossible to achieve without the miracle goods and services of your Defamer sponsors. And if you are interesting in advertising your wares on Defamer, there's more information here.

Friday
· Double your saucy Spanish cinema fun with the New Beverly Cinema's back to back screenings of Pedro Almod var's Bad Education and his lesser known Spanish compatriot Alex de la Iglesia's El Crimen Perfecto.
Saturday
· When 85 degree weather isn't beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, head downtown where Pershing Square has been miraculously transformed into an ice-skating wonderland.
· Celebrate erev erev Hanukkah at the House of Blues for Stu & Lew's Schmooz-A-Palooza, "a fun, festive environment that brings young, hip Jewish people together," basically JDate for the technologically ungifted.
Sunday
· Those lightning rod mascots of right wing family values debate, the penguins, will be making another controversial appearance when the Skirball Center screens March of the Penguins for free.
· After catching a Munich matinee, there's only one thing left to do to make it a truly Jewish Christmas before rushing home for menorah lighting and a round of Texas Hold 'Em dreidel spinning.

Say what you will about Viacom president and CEO Tom Freston, the guy can knock out a year-end company-wide e-mail like nobody's business. In this memo currently making the rounds, Freston effortlessly glides from cheerfully suggesting employees raise a New Year's Eve "glass for the birth of your new company, too," to putting a human face on their conveniently disposed of "corporate overhead," while all the while using his trademark laid back style to cut any of the self-congratulatory bitter aftertaste often associated with some of his colleagues' gushy outbursts:

· The 50-50 split ownership of failed cable news experiment MSNBC is no longer, as Microsoft sells its controlling stake back to NBC Universal. Bill Gates remains cautiously optimistic until the happy day he sees the letters NBC lopped off his company's name forever. [Variety]
· Studios hold their breaths as seven movies go into wide release this weekend, including Rumor Has It and The Producers. Or if laughs is what you're looking for, there's always Munich. [THR]
· Narnia grosses $5 million on Wednesday, eking out a midweek victory over Kong, and leaving Universal wondering if perhaps they shouldn't have added an Aslan resurrection-like coda to their little monkey's depressing downfall. [Variety]
· In a "nudge to Oscar voters," Fox will screen the director's cut of Ridley's Scott's Kindgom of Heaven, featuring 45 extra minutes of footage, at the Laemmle Fairfax. For those of us who never intended on seeing any version of the film, this amounts to a gift of 45 minutes with which to do whatever we please. Thanks, Fox! [Variety]
· NBC orders more episodes of their new hit game show Deal or No Deal; Howie Mandel and that guy pretending to be the banker's agents go into overtime renegotiating fat paydays. (The models get scale. They're just lucky to be there.) [THR]

A last-minute shopping Defamer operative has a double sighting at a high end nail salon:

The LAPD clearly wanted to get into the "night before Christmas" layoff spirit so popular lately with the studios around town, but with nary a publicity or comedy development department to ravage, what is a municipal law enforcement organization to do? How about something as easy as shooting some fish shooting up in a barrel, and nabbing yourself a celebrity in the process?!

· The New York Transit Strike nightmare is officially over, and Gawker can't help but notice that star villain Roger Toussaint looks suspiciously like Ghost Dog.
· We think it's safe to say, the loser of the Raindrop Vs. Mike Glambin rap battle is us.
· Sploid might have come up with a reasonable explanation for the box office drought.
· Don Ho Ho Ho!
· What do you get when you speed up The Passion of the Christ and add the Benny Hill music? Christmas Comedy Gold, that's what! [VIA b3ta]

No sooner had we accepted the dreary reality that this town was downright free of surprises and goodies 'til the new year, what should appear beneath our Defamer non-denominational electrified seasonal shrubbery but a shiny, wrapped PrivacyWatch sighting of Zelig-like, proud new adoptive papa Brad Pitt! With child!