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An East Coast operative wintering in the swanky Hamptons enclave of Sag Harbor comes close to running down one of our most beloved leading ladies in this special edition of PrivacyWatch:

So, I'm visiting the family back east for Christmas. Driving down quaint Main St., Sag Harbor after a Christmas Eve lunch, some tall, blond chick with too-low jeans and a girl in tow cruises out in front of our car with nary a glance or care that she is 3 feet from our bumper and 30 feet from the nearest cross walk. Her blond little girl - about 7 or so, looks at us, scared that we won't stop while her mother is already 1/2 way across the street without her AND without a glance back to check on her. I didn't want to dent our car — she is a large woman — and felt no remorse when I rolled down my window to let her know "IT'S CALLED A CROSSWALK - USE IT!!"...and see Uma Thurman and her daugher Maya look back at me IN SHOCK that I would have the NERVE to question her highness...What? Celebs don't bleed?

A good question, and the answer would depend entirely on your definition of the word "bleed." If you were to cut a celebrity, or, in this case, run into them at full speed with your car, a liquid would indeed pour forth from their wounds; it would not be blood, however, but instead "celebuglobin," a fantastical plasmic substance with magical rejuvenating and self-promotional capabilities. Happily, in this instance, none was spilt for the star of The Producers or her brood.