We recently noted so noTORIous, VH1's sparkling showcase for Tori Spelling's many comic gifts, had taken to decorating our city's sidewalks with perma-bonding stickers touting the series. We threw it out to our dependable readers to send in photos of the adhesive eyesores, and, sure enough, the photos and their locations have started to come in. Here's the latest sighting:
Even without a venue in which she can adequately ply her celebrity-pampering trade, temporarily clubless nightlife queen-in-exile Amanda Scheer Demme name is still making frequent appearances in the gossip sheets. (And, occasionally, in the NY Times) Today's Page Six keeps her personal brand alive with an update from Demmeland:
Our heart goes out to Charlie Sheen's personal assistant, who has seen a considerable expansion in job requirements recently: In addition to chauffeuring their boss to his various "It's A Smear Campaign!" tabloid TV tour appearances, they must also spend hours scrawling the words "lying, Sambora-sucking slut" over Denise Richards' face on stacks of old wedding photos. And if that isn't enough, we can only imagine the delicate, professional touch required in breaking the news that their boss' living nightmare week just got one bullshit lawsuit worse:
Jessica Alba should be proud. Her fierce protection of her image and stubborn refusal to give into the flesh-baring pressures that eventually consume nearly all B-list actresses has created a demand for a prurient glimpse of her naughty parts so intense that the online world is reflexively salivating over a glimpse of something, anything possibly visible through the tumescence-dampening protection of a fleetingly revealed bra. If Alba doesn't find that inevitable tasteful nudie vehicle soon (we're still partial to something with flight attendants or police cadets, or preferably both), we think the internets may completely implode from frustration.
· Lionsgate picks up the worldwide distribution rights to Ayn Rand's novel Atlas Shrugged, with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie rumored to be thinking about taking the lead roles. Pitt's wanted to play John Galt ever since he pretended to read the book at the urging of his freshman year girlfriend. [Variety]
· American Idol continued its soul-crushing, monotonous domination of the ratings, as 27 million viewers tuned in to watch Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest exchange "No, you're gay!" jokes. [THR]
· Warner Bros. TV starts its new Warner Horizon TV division meant to specialize in lower-cost cable TV and reality fare," moving Hollywood ever closer to its goal of producing programs in which no one involved in a show's production is paid any money at all. [Variety]
· Sony continues to find the going rough, but expects to ahve its corporate ass saved by The Da Vinci Code. [THR]
· We were just about to get on board with Mike Myers starring in How to Survive a Robot Uprising from a script from Reno 911 guys Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant, but then we hit this sentence: "Studio has received notes from Myers on the Lennon and Garant draft." Uh oh. Sample note: "What if the head evil robot had a really abrasive Scottish accent?" [Variety]
It's a life less colorful without Sharon Stone, Hollywood's First Lady of Crazy, in the regular rotation, sharing her latest demented ramblings on the art of onscreen naked-traipsing and how it can promote a reduction in suicide bombings. Sadly, with her Basic Instinct 2 promotional obligations fulfilled, unhinged Stone items have slowed to a dribble lately, and some that are being reported aren't even true:
Because there's something inherently hilarious to us about agents fighting, especially when lawsuits are involved, we point out today's LAT story on the suit filed yesterday by former William Morris agents Steve Glick and Gregory Lipstone, who allege that the agency cheated them out of their fair share of WMA's blood money after a power struggle drove them into the consoling arms of ICM. Says the LAT:
Collider noticed the billboard looming over the corner of Palm and Santa Monica in West Hollywood, which rather boldly touts something called "Rainbow Cruise Lines" and directs curious, prospective vacationers to check out the company's website. Gay shuffleboard enthusiasts will undoubtedly be disappointed to discover that the seafaring come-on is just a stunt advertisement for Jackass: Number Two, and that the movie's web presence is completely devoid of Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O's signature mututal cock-and-ball torture, adding to the sting of the promotional subterfuge.
· The LA Weekly's Nikki Finke says that Les Moonves has kidnapped The CW. How could anyone in Hollywood have seen such a power play from network television's beloved future galactic dictator coming?
· The Most Beautiful Person in the World hates discussing her relationship, but loves KFC!
· This just in: One of Aaron Sorkin's fictional characters has a drug problem!
· If the Britney Spears statue made you queasy, please don't look at this cartoon involving Katie Holmes in the same pose.
· Does Francis Ford Coppola ride the Metro? Metroblogging LA uses highly scientifical image-enhancimifying tools to investigate.
· What if celebrities had their own MySpace profiles? They do? OK, what if celebrities had their own parody MySpace profiles?
Strange things are afoot at The 'Digm. On Friday, Paradigm empowered a few of its employees to explore the exciting talent management and unemployment fields, making us wonder if an agency merger or acquisition was in the offing, and now an operative slips us this internal e-mail from Fearless Leader Sam Gores, which somewhat cryptically (apocalyptically?) touts an unspecified "next chapter" in the agency's development. Fans of agency interoffice correspondence, enjoy:
· SNL's Rob Riggle, The Daily Show's Rachael Harris, and BWE's Rob Huebel and other UCB all-stars are in the cast of Hamilton Press, a comedy production far better served by you reading their official description than by us trying to sum it up here. At the UCB Theatre, of course.
· See former Apprentice Kendra Todd at the Universal Studios Sheraton, where she'll tell you how to invest in real estate. And if you behave, maybe she'll share her favorite anecdote about Donald Trump's clumsy come-ons.
· Hump Night music round-up: AM at the Hotel Cafe; Eisley at the House of Blues; Quasi at Spaceland.
An unexpected deluge of Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century-related material today necessitates the use of that most hallowed of blog post formats, the afternoon round-up:
· Pellicano told his girlfriend that high-powered divorce lawyer Dennis Wasser, who represented Tom Cruise in ending his marriage to Nicole Kidman, "had received wiretap information" from him (though not necessarily for that case), getting our hopes up that one day an audio tape might surface of Kidman presciently suggesting that Cruise "find someone young and desperate to terrorize with his turkey baster." [NY Times]
· Vanity Fair has posted the big Pellicano story from its upcoming issue on their website. But who's got time to read all those "words"? Certainly not us, who fainted dead away just from the sight of that gigantic, uninterrupted column of text. We'll take a look once the intern arrives with the smelling salts necessary to get through the whole thing. [Vanity Fair]
· TMZ claims that prosecutors have only listened to 25 percent of Pellicano's tapes, raising the possibility that more wiretapping fun is still to come. Also, they have some snappy video of the PI showing off in The Pelican Cave in happier, less incarcerated times. [TMZ.com]
Everyone once in a while, celebrities seem to forget their contract with the public: They talk about their relationships and pregnancies, and we pretend to give a shit about their hobbies. If Jolie expects anyone to pay attention to her latest cause, she'd better call another press conference, pose for some pictures rubbing her swollen belly, and answer a few hard-hitting questions about how Brad decorated the nursery all by himself.
The Honolulu Star Bulletin was on hand at yesterday's sentencing of repeat offender Michelle "The Drunk and The Furious" Rodriguez, who opted for a five-day prison sentence (she has four days left to serve) over 240 hours of community service. The report notes several bizarre comments made by the actress, including a plea for leniency on the grounds that she only got her driver's license seven years earlier for a "car racing movie" and that all of her driving experience "started and was acquired from car racing school." Even stranger was her explanation of her wild belligerence upon her arrest, during which she dared the cops to "put a gun to my head and shoot me!":
· The NY premiere of United 93 is a huge success! Reports Var: "After the film's devastating final scene, the screen abruptly went dark and a cacophony of loud, uncontrollable sobs could be heard coming from the back of the theater, where many of the nearly 100 family members of 9/11 victims were seated." Universal explores the possibility of rotating the still-grieving family members through theaters across the country, allowing non-NY-based moviegoers the chance to feel the film's full impact. [Variety]
· Former William Morris agents Steve Glick and Gregory Liptsone sue WMA for "artificially reducing the value of the company's stock" by labeling executive bonuses as operating expenses, leading to underreported profits. It's always sad when agents lose sight of why the got into the business in the first place: to fuck over other people, not their own employees. [THR]
· Will Smith signs up for his seemingly tenth job in the last two weeks, will star in the perpetually-in-turnaround project I Am Legend for Warner Brothers. [Variety]
· Casting genius must be acknowledged: Jason Lee will be the voice of Underdog in Disney's live-action adaptation. Still no word on what role will be offered to Lee pal and fellow Scientologist Giovanni Ribisi. [THR]
· Ben Stiller re-teams with the Farrelly Brothers, the zipper-wielding genital torturers who made him a big star in There's Something About The Mary, in Seven Day Itch, a "loose remake" of The Heartbreak Kid. [Variety]
Perhaps inspired by Paula Abdul's alleged agent-inflicted attack at one of its recent events, the LAT ventures out to floating party Xenii (a mere seven months after the NY Times dropped by, but who's counting?) to see what all the cool kids are up to these days. For those too unfashionable to have heard of Xenii, it's an exclusive, semisecretive, members-only, Entourage-meets-Warhol's-Factory, traveling after-hours gathering where guys pay dues for the privilege of hanging around with beautiful women and celebrities without being stungunned by their bodyguards. Still not getting it? Here's a sample of what a man's $650 to $4,500 monthly membership gets him, courtesy of the Times:
Page Six reports that Nick Lachey opened up to Rolling Stone about the sad disintegration of his cherished reality show marriage because he was promised the story would run on its cover. But wily RS publisher Jann Wenner pulled a C-list bait-and-switch on Lachey, demoting him to the cover of his other publication, glossy rag US Weekly. What's more, Nick appeared on US shirtless and engaged in the classic gay personals photo cheat stance: arms crossed and folded, thereby inflating manboobs to maximum capacity.
