· Just weeks before he catapulted himself into the celebrity gossip stratosphere as America's Next Top Porn Star, we were fortunate enough to snag a few precious seconds with Verne Troyer on the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards. We broke into the Defamer Time Capsule — hint: it's buried somewhere in the grassy knoll between Craft and the Death Star — to unearth this clip that showcases both Molls and myself being temporarily rendered speechless when we realized we were in the presence of the world's most famous little person (yes, and that includes Matt Roloff).
· Still thirsty for more deets on the Mini-Me sex tape? Well, here's another mystery solved. The young frenchee in question is none other than 22-year-old Ranae Shrider, an aspiring model from Kentucky. Welcome to the jungle, baby. [TMZ]
· Just in time for Wall-E to hit theaters, those loveable scamps over at Radar have put together a list of cinema's gayest robots. [Radar]
· Looking for the silver lining in the news that the Jennifer Aniston rom-com He's Just Not That Into You has has been pushed back until February 2009? Now there's plenty of time to get Jennifer Connelly involved in that planned Marie Claire cover shoot. Also? More competition for Valkyrie! [US Magazine]
· "I am single, I have no problem meeting women. Women approach me 6, 7 times a day." After listening to this hilariously pathetic voicemail, we think we may have stumbled onto the perfect castmember for Season Two of Vh1's The Pickup Artist. If anyone can help this guy, it's Mystery. [The Sherman Foundation]

Forget what Stacey Peralta tried to teach you in Dogtown And Z-Boys, everyone knows the real thrasher revolution took place when Michael J. Fox latched onto the back of that pickup truck during the opening minutes of Back To The Future. While skating was certainly popular in underground circles before Bob Zemeckis taught Marty McFly how to ollie, it was the mammoth success of BTTF that allowed skateboarders to springboard from the underground into the mainstream. And while we have a modicum of respect for Tony Hawk and Bam Margera and the rest of the dudes who kick and push their way through the X Games, we think that most of us would agree that skateboarders are, more often than not, annoying as all get out. Case in point: a bunch of pseudopunk deckdogz were thrashing about outside of the HMS Bounty while Molls and Ed tried to have themself a nice dinner. The resulting video not only brings you a list of fun things To Do in Los Angeles tonight, but also takes aim at these rapscallions who we'd rather see zipping around on Heelies. Enjoy!

Shouldn’t single actresses know by now that giant diamonds worn on a particular finger shouldn't be flaunted in public? Cameron Diaz was photographed sporting an ostentatious sparkler yesterday in Santa Monica, suspiciously displaying the gory piece on her engagement ring-reserved finger in a very blatant manner. But considering she’s just barely started dating former cokehead/Jennifer Aniston ex Paul Sculfor, and has been linked to half a dozen other canoodling partners in the past few months, we’re not jumping on the “Diaz Engaged!” bandwagon quite yet. The notoriously anti-paparazzi actress might have just wanted to fuck with her camera-flashing enemies. Still, whenever a star makes the decision to debut a big ol’ gem there, it’s proven tough to gage those inevitable engagement rumors’ validity. We looked back at celebrity diamond-spotting of the past, from the most firm denials that led to splashy weddings, to the sure things that turned out to be false alarms, after the jump.

A tipster just alerted us that a car just smashed through the front windows of iO West on Hollywood Boulevard, sometime within the last half-hour or so. Other than learning that no one was hurt, we don't have any other details at the moment. However, we can only hope that this incident wasn't the first strike in an improv turf war between the iO crowd and the rival UCBers. Let's keep the rumbles confined to the sandy beaches of Malibu, people. As they say, developing...

Like clusters of onlookers awaiting the Vatican smoke signals that announce a new pope, all of Hollywood stirred abuzz today learning that George Clooney would finally weigh in with a letter addressing the conflict between SAG and AFTRA. And weigh in he... didn't, instead choosing a neutral stand essentially saying everyone's right and would they please just sit down and try hammering out something constructive for once? Seriously, folks:

Porn: not just for Van Nuys anymore! At least, that's the conclusion offered by the New York Post, which today posited that the valley's favorite industry may be working its way westward — right into the gilded rooms of an unnamed Beverly Hills hotel. Teased The Post:

After finally seeing Wall-E Tuesday night at the El Capitan, your easily susceptible guest blogger is comfortable calling it a colossal achievement — an assertion backed up by other reviews going live today, including Variety's and Roger Ebert's. However, not all is innocent in Pixar's mostly-silent masterpiece: Republican environmental policy takes some not-so-thinly veiled hits, thanks to the movie's pro-green message (when a corporate overlord played by Fred Willard encourages his underlings to "stay the course" in the face of catastrophic environmental disaster, you might expect him to add, "You're doing a heckuva job, Brown-E!"). Now, critics at the conservative New York Post are piling on, calling Wall-E "anti-fat."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

In a world where musical theater devotees and sci-fi fans yearn for common ground, the trailer for Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog grabs you by the lapels and sings, "I am that rare beast of boogie-woogie/for fans of Buffy/and fans of Doogie." Penned during the writers strike (ssshh!), the three-part internet series (helmed by Buffy creator Joss Whedon) stars Neil Patrick Harris as timid villain Dr. Horrible, who's about as skilled at wooing cute girls as he is at defeating good guys — which is to say, not very. Two pressing questions: how will Whedon fare in a medium free of low ratings and premature Fox cancellations? And also, is Neil Patrick Harris doomed to play a blogger for the rest of his career?

Dear Reader: Please pay no attention to John Horn, who should be ashamed of himself today — not just for his facile collection of "lessons" studios have "learned" so far this summer, but for daring to suggest that The Happening was anything but a success for Fox and Manoj Night Shyamalan. The effrontery! Even the most casual of observers would know that Manoj's Mint has yielded more than $113 million worldwide in two weeks of release, which is more than fine for all parties involved. (Never mind the 66% drop during its second weekend — it's all profit for Manoj!) Then there's this silly matter of viewers rejecting darker-themed movies like War Inc. (John Cusack would beg to differ) and Horn's pedestrian observation that "Paramount is on fire." And anyway, that's not even accurate — Paramount has topped $1 billion for the year, and Universal is on fire. Christ, John — get it straight! [LAT]

After a whirlwind month of snubbing her fame-enabling Grey’s Anatomy writers, the entire Academy of Television Arts & Sciences and anyone unlucky enough to get a whiff of her second-hand smoke, Katherine Heigl is somehow still idolized and worshiped by her emasculated husband Joshua Kelley. As we noted yesterday, Heigl spent most of Kelley’s weekend gig at Hotel Cafe shouting out requests for songs, songs which have all been recently altered to include the name Katie in place of any other girl’s name. But most disturbingly, the “rocker” reportedly overshared the fact that he had “curled her hair” before the show. And just how important is it that Kelley spend his pre-show time grooming his pompous pony? So important that he’s suffered third-degree burns and dehabilitated his ability to play the guitar, all in the name of love. The excruciating details, after the jump.

Only a week after our careful study of the Olsen Twins’ trademark Prune faces, clever little Mary-Kate Olsen pulled a fast one on us at last night’s screening for her new film The Wackness: the minx bore actual teeth for photographers, pose after forced pose. And even though it looks like putting on a smile in public is taking every last bit of effort and strength MK's tiny body can muster, the acrobatically trained twin has admittedly perfect chompers. Why she’s been holding back on us remains a mystery, but what doesn’t is where Olsen would rank on yesterday’s roundup of celebrity make-out partners. Her 64-year old Wackness co-star Ben Kingsley clued interested parties in on the talents Mary-Kate’s de-pruned grin is capable of, after the jump.

Don't believe for a second that David Letterman really broke any studio embargoes last night to tell you he loves The Dark Knight (he's not even the first to do so), but that doesn't mean the pseudo-spoilers contained herein are likely to compel you any less. In fact, the film Letterman describes may prove to be better than the finished product Warners has so ingloriously pimped for months now, right down to Batman's protective ears and the franchise-ending climax we've been hoping for. Of course, as far as we know Heath Ledger is still in the film, so maybe it's all devastatingly true. It's not like the cast hasn't been preparing us. [CBS]

If, like many Americans, you have never laid eyes on the sadistic torture fest known as NBC's Celebrity Circus, please allow today's clip to be your first. Now that the show is finished cracking ribs and breaking celebrity forearms, its reason for being felt willfully out of reach until this clip brought it all home: what if, underneath it all, Celebrity Circus is just an elaborate parody of the typical reality competition? As you watch Brady Bunch alum Christopher Knight (dressed as a model for International Male) swing through the air to the tunes of the Black-Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started," finally facing a trio of judges cut from the usual "generic, dippy, and British" mold, allow your mind to ponder the thought: is it possible to spoof a show that's already a parody of itself?

[Photo Credit: X17]

What has turned into one of the highest-rated Real World seasons in years has also proven to be the most debaucherous. In previous seasons, we've seen more than our fair share of alcoholics, sexists and good girls gone bad, but the current 20th season cast has every problem child type all living together in one (environmentally friendly!) abode. Just rounding the halfway mark, the show has already kicked out two roommates: charismatic online audition winner Greg was given the heave-ho weeks ago, and naive little bully Joey left for drug treatment after admitting he was a daily cocaine and ecstasy user. And finally, the bratty and conservative Sarah succumbed to the tried-and-true Good Girl Drenches Hollywood In Vomit And Venom plot line, brilliantly set to Jim Morrison’s angst-ridden shouts and ending with an adorably retro Charles Barkley reference.

We had third-row seats to see George Michael last night at The Forum, but we sold them off at the last minute when we heard he was mixing his old withering, little-known heckling act into the greatest-hits mix. The revelation instantly piqued our sympathy for the uninformed who couldn't possibly anticipate what was about to hit them — folks like Dr. Phil McGraw, for example, whom a tipster tells us got the very worst of the vocalist's assailments:

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

There was a time — let's call it "January" — that Britney Spears and her sister Jamie Lynn appeared to be a post-holiday gift granted to us by the benevolent Tabloid Gods: while Britney checked into the psych ward and spurned Dr. Phil's advances, Jamie Lynn pulled a Juno and got pregnant at age 16. Since then, though, the media firestorm surrounding the two has begun to burn out. Even Britney herself appears kind of over it; as Jamie Lynn prepared to give birth away from all the flashbulbs in McComb, Missouri, the slow pace of her natural delivery prompted Brit-Brit to snap her gum in annoyance:

As we bide our time waiting for the inevitable $200 million feature adaptation of Captain N: The Game Master (Zac Efron, call your agent), Paramount has unveiled new details on its latest strip-mining of 80's nostalgia: G.I. Joe. Directed by failing-upward Stephen Sommers (Van Helsing), Joe is all set for a summer 2009 release, but that doesn't mean it's too soon to reveal three new teaser posters and a new, utterly superfluous subtitle: G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. Sadly, none of the teaser posters show off the film's most curious bit of casting — Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander — though the film's new subtitle seems to hint that Cobra won't be donning his live-action costume until everyone's bullshit detectors receive a proper workout.