In most respects, 90210 lead Shenae Grimes couldn't be more different from her franchise predecessor Shannen Doherty: instead of coming across as a Midwestern fish out of water in Beverly Hills, she's already tanned, styled, and starved within an inch of her life (and it's only three weeks in). And then there is the smiling — always, the smiling! However, according to the New York Post, Grimes may have taken a page from Doherty when it comes to on-set behavior, and it sounds like she's not giving her coworkers much to smile about:

Duck-voiced veteran showbiz reporter Pat O'Brien will never fully escape the looming shadow of the Let's Get Crazy Get Some Coke voice mail, the shocking nasty-talk contained therein forever tarnishing the integrity of his fine work on countless fawning Jamie Foxx profiles and Anna Nicole Smith C-section video narrations. He entered rehab shortly after, then again in 2008, at which point Donny Osmond was pulled in to replace him—but after Osmond refused the position, O'Brien returned to his post. He's since seen his role on the show steadily diminish: His face and name have disappeared from the website, co-host Lara Spencer has now taken on full-time hosting duties, and O'Brien has been made a "correspondent," dispatched to far flung regions to interview those Guinness oddities The Insider loves so much, like the World's Anorexiest Twins and The Oklahoman Grandma with No Epidermis. From one of those assignments—he was sent to interview America's Most Caribou-Dressing-Illiterate VP Candidate Joe Biden—came the following e-mail, sent to the entire staff of ET and The Insider:

Barack Obama may have California's electoral votes in the bank, but that doesn't mean he won't make a quick trip to the ATM en route to Election Day. In what's expected to be his last rally of Hollywood pals before Nov. 4, Obama will attend a pair of sold-out, back-to-back fundraisers tonight in Beverly Hills. First up: an intimate dinner for 250 at the Greystone Mansion, followed by a trip down the street to the customary Streisand Kiss-of-Death Variety Hour at the Beverly Wilshire. Total miles one-way: Three. Total windfall: Roughly $9 million — by one estimate, a single-day fundraising record for a presidential candidate. And celeb-culture darling Sarah Palin won't even be there! We break the evening down after the jump.For all its flak and flubs, the Palin phenomenon has managed to neutralize Obamania since her selection to the GOP ticket on Aug. 29. That much is obvious; the rest, not so much, with a panicked Hollywood dumping out its collective wallet between tonight's $28,500-per-plate Greystone dinner and the $2,500-per-ticket Streisand/DreamWorks fete (with special guest Ben Harper, no extra charge!). Politico's Jeffrey Ressner suggests this is some kind of benchmark, though a one-day record can't be substantiated unless all the checks clear at once. Or something. Just as long as they clear, right? And just as long as Obama and Co. listen, notes Variety, which informally surveyed industry backers who think their cash may yet (and/or should) buy some long-haul influence:

· We're not going to lie: Seeing The Soup run our footage of Brooke Hogan drawing a blank on the name "Sarah Palin" on the VMAs red carpet was a real thrill. Enhancing that thrill was knowing E! was temporarily held hostage by our shaky Nikon Coolpix camera work and audio that sounded like it was piped in via two baked bean tins strung together with twine. [The Soup] · After Ellen and Portia's wedding video melted all our troubles away, we were ready for another slice of gay wedding cake. Beam us up a piece, Scottie! [Daily Mail] · Here's a shot of Ben Affleck from the set of Mike Judge's flower-extract-factory comedy (hey—we just work here) Extract, looking as though you could wring a few powerful drops of Jesus Extract from his hair. [Just Jared] · Canadians got the Zack and Miri Enjoy the Pleasures of Reciprocal Oral Sex poster, while all we get is a couple stick figures. They don't even have stick genitalia! [/Film] · Ben Silverman admitted to reporters at the New York Television Festival that the head of HR at his network refers to him as "the Paris Hilton of NBC." He then pulled out a recorder, and spoke: "Memo to self: Ben Silverman's My New BFF. Needs a sidekick and catchphrase. Have assistant see if Jessica Simpson and 'So much much' are available." [broadcastingandcable.com]

Aspiring celebrities about to make your first rounds on the talk show circuit, take note. Earlier this year, we cautioned you regarding the pitfalls of repeating the same anecdote word-for-word on multiple talk show appearances, using Jason Segal's penis-bearing fable as our example. Tonight, we'd like to walk through the subtle art of how to recognize what kind of stories are good for dinner parties versus those that are suitable to be told to a national television audience, showcasing Mad Men star Jon Hamm's disastrously disrespectful appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Friday night.In this clip cut together by our very own Molly McAleer, you'll see two sides of the very same story coming together and then exploding before your very eyes. Here's a quick primer. You see, Mr. Don Draper himself, Jon Hamm, appeared on the Live With Regis And Kelly show on Thursday morning. Little did he know, both Regis and his wife are huge fans of the show Mad Men. They're such big fans, in fact, that the 77-year-old Regis thought it would be fun to spend a little time after the show with Hamm, going as far as to invite him over to the Philbin's apartment. Being the good sport that he is, Hamm agreed to hang with Reege and Joy for a few hours, posing for pictures and making small talk until other obligations rescued him from what was undoubtedly an awkward situation. Up until this point, it was a win/win for all parties involved. Hamm endeared himself to a showbiz legend and Reege got to hang with an actor who likely reminds him of his 1960s glory days. (As you'll see in the clip above, Regis is still beaming four days later.) However, Hamm submarined himself by being unable to hold his tongue about how he really felt about spending time with the Philbins when he came on Kimmel's show on Friday night. Rather than save the story of Regis' wacky behavior for the afterparty in the green room of the El Capitan, he made the cardinal mistake of derisively referring to one of Hollywood's most endearing and popular fixtures as "an elfin force of nature" and a "crazy showbiz guy." Boo! Jon, we know your intentions were in the right place. You were on your friend's show, you had a great story and you just wanted to make the audience laugh. However, poking fun at a beloved institution like Regis is miles apart from poking fun at a tired old windbag like, say, Larry King. Save the barbs about how "crazy" Regis is for when you're kicking back with a few beers at your buddy Kimmel's house, versus sitting on his chair with cameras trained on you and millions thousands of people watching. If you want your career to have legs, that's a lesson you'll want to learn sooner rather than later.

Dane Cook is finally playing nice these days on behalf of his Mr. Fix-It remake new film My Best Friend's Girl, getting through an entire interview recently without once mentioning his mildly vagina-like face or those other movie-poster mishaps that so traumatized him last month. In their place, readers are treated to hints about Cook's sweeter, sensitive side — the leading man in him who prepares for onscreen interludes with a grueling two-month training routine for his mouth and hands:

Though the upcoming Diablo Cody thriller Jennifer's Body may cover up more of actress Megan Fox than people were expecting, at least Fox makes up for it by exposing herself in the latest edition of GQ. Few subjects are left untouched in the wide-ranging interview, whether it's her boyfriend's penis ("Who’s given a hand job since seventh grade? Not me"), Disney ("Fuck Disney"), or her Transformers director (when asked if the Transformers sequel will give the actress more to do, Fox flatly responds, "Transformers 2 is directed by Michael Bay"). Still, most tongues will wag when Fox recalls the female stripper she fell in love with at LA's full-frontal emporium The Body Shop when she was just 18:

We'd like to introduce you to a new recurring character in the reality series that is Molly McAleer's To Dos: potential love interest, Johnny. Johnny hails from a small town called Wrong Side of the Tracks, CA, and was taken in by Molly's Chihuahua Wagandstuff after the two met on a surf run in Newport beach. Watch the Season One sexual tension simmer as the two bond over their shared love of Pink's hot dogs and the inevitable loose stools that follow. And check out that luscious head of wavy blonde hair—we're pretty sure Johnny also fathered Jennie Garth's love child on 90210. Here are some things to do until the next installment, when Johnny strips to his underwear and poses on spec for a mocked-up American Apparel campaign in Molly's kitchen:· Hip Hop Ya Don't Stop at the John Anson Ford Amphitheater · The Living Room Series at the Second Stage Theater · Joan as a Police Woman at Largo at the Coronet

Though Roger Ebert would rather his thwacking at the hands of Lou Lumenick be forgotten, it seems that New York Post readers aren't as quick to forgive. Lumenick's last Toronto Film Festival update neglects to mention the incident (instead focusing on an Anne Hathaway/Keira Knightley Oscar showdown), but every single commenter rips into him anyway, blaming the critic for pummeling a national treasure. "So let me guess: on your next trip you're going to run over Stephen Hawkins and maybe punch Stevie Wonder, right?!" asks one (another suggests he train his pugilism on cancer-stricken children), while the comments on Lumenick's review of The Women personally mock the writer, with one person posting, "Here's to hoping your reviews are boycotted, you are deservedly let go, and you spend the remainder of your years at the grill of a second-rate fast food restaurant." Punchy! [NY Post]

What do you call a party with a huge proportion of women with huge proportions, bleached blond hair and garish makeup? If you picked: "Just Another Night in Hollywood," or "Just Another Night at the Strip Club," or "Just Another Night in My Bedroom," take a number and go to the back of the line. Rather, the party in question —held at the appropriately named World of Wonder gallery on Hollywood Boulevard— was for a very specific, large-proportioned, bleached-blond beauty. No, not Jenna Jameson. This would be someone with actual talent, not to mention a huge gay following. OK, fine, I'll tell you. Dolly Parton! Co-curated by E! Online columnist Marc Malkin and Steven Corfe, the Dollypop exhibition featured over 40 artists, all of whom answered their call for Dolly art with a certain fervor. "We were actually surprised actually how responsive people were when we just told them, 'Dolly Parton,'" said Steve. "There's a lot of closet Dolly fans out there." Of course, an event such as this inspires people to pay homage. So, it was appropriate that we were greeted by a Dolly Door Girl. Inside, we were seeing double and triple Dolly's. There were even look-a-likes for other celebrities who seemed to have gotten lost. There was a Rick James look-a-like, and a Sophia Loren dead ringer that had us completely confused for five minutes. James St. James interviewed some of them for his show on WOW TV. (I thought I was hallucinating and seeing New York club kid Richie Rich's body double, and then, realized OMG, it kind of was Richie Rich's body double!) No detail went unnoticed. Pink champagne (what else?) was served. Some guy with a contraption on his head was hanging out and taking in the Dolly art. [Ed. Note - That's the TMZ "Dollhouse Dude".]

There are no quantums of solace to be found today in the Jack White household, where the recent unveiling of his and Alicia Keys's theme song to Quantum of Solace via a Coke commercial has the songwriter lashing out at his Sony patrons. "Jack White was commissioned by Sony Pictures to write a theme song for the James Bond film Quantum Of Solace, not for Coca Cola," read a statement obtained over the weekend by NME. "Any other use of the song is based on decisions made by others, not by Jack White. We are disappointed that you first heard the song in a co-promotion for Coke Zero, rather than in its entirety." Ah ah ah — make that Coke Zero Zero Seven, rebranded exclusively for the occasion of Quantum's release this November. We'll withhold judgment of the song itself until we can hear it in its entirety, but the sample available after the jump certainly sounds low-calorie.

Apparently Jessica Simpson is still doing... things... and one of those things is a new perfume scent, maybe? That's the story she told Rachael Ray, and it seems plausible enough, though we're a little more skeptical of the singer's insistence that she's "completely" in charge of making the product ("Vanilla bean smells completely different than vanilla. It's really weird!"). Still, her unenthused patter briefly comes alive when Ray spritzes some "Fancy" (it is called this) into the air, causing Simpson to point out the perfume's unique bonus: the ability to queef in an elevator without anyone being the wiser. Ladies, do not try this at home. [Rachael Ray]

Click to viewBoomp3.com Even though the economy is in shambles and Texans are just starting to recover from the devastating effects of Hurricane Ike over the weekend, there is no force of nature that will keep Kim Kardashian and her family from getting out the word about her upcoming run on Dancing With The Stars. Kris Kardashian-Jenner, the selfless head of the Kardashian-Jenner clan, felt it was very important for her family to get out the message about voting. Mrs. Kardashian-Jenner said, “This is the single most important decision facing the American people right now. We have to keep my darling Kimmy on that show for the next three months. I mean, everybody loves Kim. So, it shouldn’t be a problem, but everybody needs to get out there and vote!” [Photo Credit: Flynet] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Last week's Defamer survey of the Tyler Perry phenomenon wasn't intended as some jokey, indulgent irony OD at your expense. Gayfaced frock-rocking aside, his quarter-billion dollar (and counting) film franchise is built on plots, subplots and unapologetic throwbacks to the golden age of melodrama, and now, with his fantastically perverse The Family That Preys, the critical culture from which Perry has long shielded his films before release is finally coming around. Preys currently has a 54% positive rating at Rotten Tomatoes, and we're especially fond of Bob Baker's "memo" to Perry published today in the LA Times:

While the Tina Fey-as-Sarah Palin cold opening attracted some of Saturday Night Live's best notices in years (and best ratings, too — it was the highest-rated season premiere since the 2001 opener following the 9/11 attacks), nothing else that followed had quite the same water cooler buzz. However, if the show had been able to stick to its original plan, there would have been at least one other moment that would have had people talking: a Barack Obama cameo. Though the presidential candidate was forced to cancel due to Hurricane Ike, Michaels reveals to the Washington Post exactly how he would have been used (and what other surprise celebrities got involved as a result):

Click to viewBoomp3.com Heroes star Hayden Panettiere must’ve wished that she cold use her super powers to make a parking ticket disappear over the weekend. Panettiere assumed that the parking enforcement officer must’ve been stalking her, because Panettiere could've swore that she had a couple of minutes left on the meter. Panettiere then wondered if she would be able to cover the cost of the ticket. Inch by inch, Panettiere removed the ticket from the envelope and was stunned to discover a thirty-five dollar fine. Panettiere said, “Looks like I have to sell some stuff on Craigslist to cover the cost of this one.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

You might not guess it at first, but in the schema of exotic celebrity baby-adopting, obtaining the child is often the easiest part of the whole endeavor. Especially for Meg Ryan, who regaled David Letterman's viewers Friday night with her tale of baby procural in the farthest-flung reaches of China. As she navigated the teeming metropolis of her daughter's birth, at the mercy of maternal instinct and Google Maps directions 12 pages long, she fielded one e-mail after another recommending potential baby names. Among the most intriguing was a note from an unnamed "bipolar" friend who offered the brilliant suggestion "Oprah Winfrey Ryan." Sadly, after a month of deliberation, Ryan went with "Daisy" — tired, we know, but not for lack of inspiration. We think that celebrity offspring named after celebrities is an idea whose time has come. Hear Ryan's story after the jump, and join us in selecting the top celebrity-celebrity baby names of the future. Help us help her to not make the same mistake twice.

Tween queen Miley Cyrus has a complicated relationship with her clothes: sometimes she's lured out of them by unscrupulous Vanity Fair photographers, and sometimes she simply wants to eat the American Eagle t-shirt off her chest like any other 15-year-old girl. This rampant teen licentiousness has caused cultural stewards the world over to clutch their pearls, and now it seems that a defiant Cyrus has added a like-minded clothes-eschewer to her coterie: 20-year-old singing underwear model Justin Gaston, with whom she was just snapped at church. Is he Miley's latest attempt to pander to the gays, or is this budding, bulging love? More pictures, video, and analysis, after the jump:Just Jared has the bare facts backstory:

· Wondering how the dire-sounding Wall St. readjustment will affect Hollywood? The entire industry will instantly grind to a halt, says Nikki Finke sunnily, as "showbiz bigwigs will be huddling with their business managers and brokers and bankers to figure out what to do with their personal portfolios." On the upside, at least you now have something substantial to blame for your inability to get anyone of importance to take your calls. [DHD] · A bidding war for syndicated rights to How I Met Your Mother could earn in the neighborhood of $350 million for Twentieth Television, turning it into a "potential nonstop revenue machine," and effectively giving Neil Patrick Harris the ability to bend time and space by furrowing his giant forehead. [Variety] · E! is launching Sports Soup, a sports-themed spinoff of The Soup sure to appeal to that network's eleven heterosexual male viewers. [Variety] · As Nip/Tuck readies itself for its final season, reps for that series's stars are "deep in salary negotiations," with Julian McMahon's agent overheard bellowing, "YOU CALL THAT FUCKING-ROSIE-O'DONNELL MONEY? SUCK MY DONG!" down the corridors of his place of business. [THR] · In a direct-to-video first, Paramount Home Entertainment is bundling its upcoming home video release of Kung Fu Panda with home-video-sequel Secrets of the Furious Five, and calling the package the Pandamonium Double Pack—thereby doubling the amount of time you can avoid your children. It's a mid-autumn miracle! [THR]

Click to viewBoomp3.com Never one to miss an opportunity to make a statement, Academy Award winner Tim Robbins decided to take on the ruthless Hockey Mom confab by wearing a deliciously inspired t-shirt. Robbins proudly displayed his Hockey Dads for Obama shirt right before taking in a street hockey game, and he also generously donated shirts for all of the parents on both teams to wear. Robbins said, “Palin does not speak for all of the hockey parents out there. I’m sure that there are a lot of Hockey Single Moms for Obama out there. I also believe that the ultimate hockey god, Don Cherry, is for Obama, too.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.