Today on The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck revealed that there is a new creature who is trying desperately to store up enough strength so that it can escape her. It is called "a baby."

Typically, we scoff at the "pop-up fact" reruns that play before new episodes of Lost. However, last night's repeat may have helped us figure out just about the only mystery left unsolved in "Jughead."

We're still not sure if what we saw in the Salt Lake judging room was an actual 250-lb., adorable pink Easter Beary or rather some barbiturate-induced Paula Abdul hallucination, but whatever it was—we're in love.

This whole SAG presidency thing may not be working out so well for Alan Rosenberg, but so what? His blues-career Plan B is taking off before our eyes — have a listen after the jump!

· Universal's remaking The Thing, with Battlestar Galactica EP Ron Moore to write the script and commercials director Matthijs Van Heijningen set to direct. If you've forgotten how amazing John Carpenter's version was, watch this.

As we predicted last month, Fox has stepped up to take the reins of the Narnia franchise steered into a costly anthropomorphic wall by Disney. Here's the scoop from Variety (including what they got wrong):

· In an interesting Fox crossover last night, Fringe subjected some poor kid to a clip of Paula Abdul and Kara DioGuardi making out just minutes before. Needless to say, it instantly liquefied his brains.

· Brian Wilson will sing some of pop history's most influential songs at the Wiltern. Indigo Girl Amy Ray will present less important songs at the Troubador, but is likelier to sing in key.

2. Who has gotten more grooming-obsessed: Mayim Bialik or Joey Lawrence?

Jake Gyllenhaal returned to the drudgery of jury duty today, where he received none of the pampering he'd become accustomed to from Prince of Persia's small army of chest-hair stylists and grape-peeling P.A.s.

When we intuited that Mickey Rourke was having second thoughts about a Wrestlemania appearance that would obliterate both Chris Jericho and his Oscar hopes, we weren't far off the mark. Rourke's publicist just told us:

Most midwinter dump-jobs are happy just to get some lukewarm reviews and, if they're lucky, $67 million in two weeks of release. But you're really on fire when you've earned a rarer-than-rare "anti-Minnesota" designation.

Have you ever wanted to see Slash fight Lily Tomlin over an elephant? You're in luck!

If you were one of the millions of SAG Awards watchers thinking Angelina Jolie looked a little frumpy-dumpy in her Max Azria gown, that's probably because she had the thing on backwards.

Only four days left until the big game, but there's more meat left on that giant Super Bowl tie-in buffalo wing. Top Chef takes a bite tonight, but we're hoping Crusoe gets a nibble.

Dear Donny: Your big mouth got you fired. [ETOnline]

If there's one thing we know from nature videos and the Faultline during Lent, it's that you don't provoke a starving bear. Just ask the dieting Seth Rogen, who insists Green Hornet is still on.

So the mystery $25 million document at the center of the John Travolta extortion case was a waiver, relieving emergency services from any liability had Travolta opted to airlift his son to a Florida hospital.

"Malia Obama-Jonas"...has a nice (purity) ring to it. [HuffPo]

· Lara Croft will return for another adventure, in a "revamping [that would] bear little resemblance to the originals." io9 has already discredited the Megan Fox rumors, which leaves only one other logical candidate. [THR]