It's not that we didn't expect—nay, welcome—all manner of oddness from Mickey Rourke during his comeback, whether that means smooching Bai Ling or dating his on-screen daughter. However, this ongoing Wrestlemania thing has us concerned.

The awkwardest David Letterman interviews. Yeek. We need air. [Cracked]

You know you're an Oscar frontrunner when the defensive becomes the default. Ask Fox Searchlight — they'll tell you.

Well, The Smiths aren't reuniting. But Morrissey will be there! So will a Beatle (and it's not Ringo).

The widely circulated images of confusing-exercise-video survivor Jessica Simpson at a Florida chili festival probably weren't what the singer had in mind when she recently told a handler, "I wanna be big again!"

Sherri Shepherd may have mixed feelings about the gays, but today on The View, she allowed one to demonstrate how to lay in a sling, perk up one's ass, and start panting. And why not.

Rosenberg: Fired Doug Allen "too good" for SAG. [The Wrap]

The American Idol taco truck pulled into Jacksonville last night, where aspirant Darren Darnell—a radioactive people person with a seemingly bottomless bag of party tricks—nominated himself holding tank spirit-squad leader.

Thank goodness Paris Hilton's nascent presidential campaign never took off: not only would she have worn Kitson to all the presidential balls, but she thinks the British prime minister is someone else entirely.

Aw, that's cute. Reality stain Olivia Palermo—the bitchy also-ran on The City—wants to be a "serious actress". What kind of roles could she play? Let's speculate after the jump.

1/27 — So I was moving among the gay gladiators of Gold's Gym Hollywood, where who should I find cranking away at the handbike but relatively drama-free Grey's Anatomy hunk JUSTIN CHAMBERS. Here's what I'll tell you about Justin Chambers: handsome, weight-conscious (he got on the scale), entourage- and trainer-free, and generally seemed like a nice guy. How can I tell all this by observing him from a safe distance? I just can. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

In a move that will no doubt make Fox super excited, Simpsons actress Nancy Cartwright is using her Bart voice to shill for an upcoming Scientology event at Hollywood & Highland.

Give Benicio Del Toro some credit: He's been on the Che World Tour since last May's Cannes premiere, and there are only so many ways to deflect inquiries about his character's mass-murder pastime.

A year after Fox inflated and mercilessly dashed a few hundred Americans' hopes of a big-screen A-Team adaptation, behold the promise of a new start — with surprisingly, almost bafflingly influential connections.

· So Martha's pissed at Gawker, but as far as we know she still loves Defamer and wants us on her show just as soon as her schedule allows. Meanwhile: Puppy Beagle Yoga! ZOMG!

Maybe it's the work of a crafty saboteur worried about going 0-for-13 on Oscar night, or maybe it's unfounded. But whoever's leading the anti-Slumdog Millionaire effort may find its Achilles' heel in Mumbai.

We hope we've adequately prepared you for this shock: Joaquin Phoenix's rap career may be an elaborate hoax. Yes, we've pointed this out before, but now, two sources are confirming the stunt to Entertainment Weekly:

Donny Osmond made the bombshell announcement on Bonnie Hunt today that he was "seriously considering" joining the cast of Dancing with the Stars. (We'll pause now for the requisite screaming, self-fanning, smelling salts, etc.).

Though we were heartened by Jessica Alba's recent kiss-off of Bill O'Reilly (her best performance since Into the Blue!), she's now been sucked back into a Fox News fight that's paying off with diminished returns.

· Here's this year's Oscars poster, featuring the Kodak's impressive array of laser cannons, aimed to incinerate any winner whose acceptance speech exceeds the allotted time. (They're looking at you, Slumdog Millionaire composer AR Rahman.) [Access Hollywood]