We could make some clever comment about the economy, but we'll spare you. Take our survey, and someone will win a $300 AMEX card. Survey ends Wednesday at 6pm EST, so get at it. [Rules]

Will Smith officially Hollywood's most powerful jellyfish-battling star. [Forbes]

The trailer above is just a sampling of the vaguely lesbionic tussling that can be found in Polanski's short film Greed, which is exclusively showing over at Dazed Digital. The project is the latest work from artist Francesco Vezzoli, who's known for creating trailers, premieres, and now a perfume ad for products that don't actually exist (you may remember his fake coming attraction for a Caligula remake starring Courtney Love, Benicio del Toro, and Helen Mirren). Finally, we've found a plausible explanation of the trailer for Crank 2: High Voltage!

They honor our drunken Cinderellas, and they humor our aging, slap-happy sirens. But when it comes to allowing the Paul Blart: Mall Cop phenomenon through customs this weekend, the British resistance has spoken.

Tara picked up, if they add "soul-diva, syndicated-TV-judge alter-egos." [THR]

It's every actor's (and visual-aid-friendly comedian's) dream: James Schamus calls you up out of the blue, and asks you to come in for a "general meeting."

There's nothing funny about the allegations that Chris Brown may have attacked Rihanna, but at least the proceedings received a long-overdue dose of Hollywood lunacy over the past twenty-four hours.

Liz Smith's Valentine's Day Wish: a Lily/Jane three-way. [WowOwoW]

It looked innocent enough, but now we hear that the loving, open-handed greeting Sharon Stone bestowed Sunday night on BAFTA-nominated Slumdog Millionaire star Dev Patel had "cougar attack" written all over it.

It's been two months since we introduced our new look to you, and for the most part, you seem to have embraced it. Still, we get the occasional complaint that the screen looks too cluttered.

Hollywood may never fully recover from the WGA-strike-plagued awards season of 2008, marred by trophy presentations on Veoh, a potluck Governor's Ball, and—most shocking of all—the complete cancellation of the Vanity Fair party.

In Africa with Diane Sawyer for Nightline, Hayek met a one-year-old who'd been born on the same day as her own daughter Valentina and was so moved by the coincidental bond that she popped out a breast and offered it to the grateful, suckling child. Adults who were born on the same day as Valentina will probably not be as lucky. (Also: Hey, Salma Hayek actually does speak English in a clear and natural manner! If only she could take a tip from real-life Salma's diction instead of hopelessly enunciating her 30 Rock dialogue as though she were a Grammy-addled Whitney Houston.)

It didn't take much imagination to see Harvey Weinstein wielding the whip hand two weeks ago when theSlumdog Millionaire backlash commenced. At least not as much imagination as Harvey summoned to deny it.

We can't say ET seems an entirely logical place to unveil Inglourious Basterds (Mary Hart: "Looks exciting, Mark! And now from Nazi scalps to Nazi scallops, celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck previews his Oscar menu etcetc.")

Hilary Duff has reportedly blinked in the escalating Cuban Missile Crisis of Hollywood catfights, standing down from last week's vicious retaliatory attacks against Faye Dunaway.

· Anne Heche will play the ex-wife of Ray, the anatomically superendowed protagonist of Hung. She replaces Kristin Bauer, last seen being escorted away in a wheelchair, dead-eyed and repeating, "The diameter...the diameter..." [THR]

· Everyone's favorite be-headgeared pop-culture commentator Sexman has just about had it with 50 Cent's crass commercialism and molded dildos. "What's next," he asks, "Diapers for your little gangsta?" [via fimoculous]

· American Gladiators alumnus Nitro — née Dan Clark — will share good, bad, ugly and 'roidally deranged tales from the old days while reading his new biography at Book Soup.

The Berlin Film Festival continued Sunday with critics' first look at Rage, the fashion-world mystery featuring Jude Law's revolutionary turn as a model. Just, you know, a female one.

Lord knows that NBC head Ben Silverman hardly needs another reason to fire another VP, but at least this one's creative: someone's hiring hookers on the corporate card!