Kim Ledger had plenty to do yesterday on his long flight to the Oscars, starting with an acceptance speech no one quite expected him to deliver on behalf of his son Heath.

As the final grains run through the Oscars Hourglass installed outside the Kodak (we love the addition of a bored-looking model sunbathing inside the top half), Mickey Rourke busily readies himself for the big night.

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your guide to everything new, noteworthy and momentous at the movies. This week, Madea slaughters Jason, and Oscar slays everybody.

Let's hope James Cameron's Thespbot 2000 technology works, because from the looks of how things are progressing on the SAG deal front, the sun could be setting on the Age of the Human Hollywood Actor.

Today we have a "too white" TV personality, a drugged out actress, a nice rock and/or roller, an actress desperate to lose weight, and a nasty divorcing couple.

The pictures of Rihanna's injured face are disturbing. It's not just our commenters debating whether they should have been published Thursday, or readers broadly; editors throughout the celebrity-industrial complex disagreed, too.

A picture obtained by TMZ apparently reveals Rihanna's facial injuries reportedly inflicted by her boyfriend Chris Brown. The awful image (full size after jump) would appear to confirm some rumors about the injuries.

· Can't wait for Watchmen to glimpse some computer-generated wang? Then get a load of GTA4: Lost And Damned Mr. Stubbs. [via 1Up]
· If you meant to see Fireproof, Kirk Cameron's $33.5 million-earning firemen-and-faith movie, but never got around to it, here's some highlights, beginning with an uplifting scene in which Kirk finally tells off his nag of a wife.
· People talked to most adorable Top Chef contestant of all time Fabio Viviani, who was [SPOILER ALERT!] eliminated on last night's episode. They do an admirable job of preserving his broken English. Sniff. We love you, Fabio.
· J.D. Fortune, winner of Rock Star: INXS, toured with the band for 23 months, then was unceremoniously fired at a Hong Kong airport. He's now living in a car, which if you aren't aware, is one step away from homeless.
· The Oscars secret is out, and it's three little words that will blow your minds: Hugh. Jackman. Blingees.
· American Idol's soulful griever Danny Gokey beat out Tatiana, the most loathed Idol contestant in history, to advance to the top 12. But watch out Gokey: Adam Lambert is coming, and Cher's "Believe" isn't the only trick up his sleeve.

Though Chris Brown was booked on a charge of criminal threats after allegedly beating his girlfriend, Rihanna, E! reports that the singer is being investigated for a multitude of other felonies:

· In honor of Darwin's 200th birthday, USC's Master of Professional Writing program brings acclaimed scientists and poets to the Natural History Museum to examine Darwin's influence on poetry in Darwin Among the Poets.

The Grey's Privates crossover continues tonight, but we're excited for the ER-The Librarian crossover as swashbuckling historical mysteries heat up County General Hospital. Wait, Noah Wyle is reprising his Dr. Carter character? Same dif.

From as best as we can make out, Rodman loses it in the middle of a challenge (perhaps mounting a charity auction for Baron von Trump's wealthy nursery classmates?), towering over team-leader Black and bellowing, "Fuck this bullshit! You think you did fucking right, bro? Aw, fuck you, man. Fuck you!" as a small puddle gathers circumference beneath the country singer's feet. Rodman then stomps out of the room, a gesture of defiance sure to displease the toddler Trump at that evening's board room, who'll toss an apple juice drinkin' box at the recalcitrant contestant's head in disgust. [YouTube]

Polls may be closed, but theories persist — crackpot and otherwise — about certain favorites' stability in their respective categories. Kate Winslet might be among those with reason to worry.

Strap in, kids. Entertainment Weekly just put out their list of the 25 greatest active film directors, and here's who isn't on it: Woody Allen, David Lynch, or a single woman. So who is?

Wynonna Judd is lonely—she admitted as much on The Late Late Show last night, and there was no hiding the fact that host Craig Ferguson makes her feel like a natural, Alli-endorsing spokeswoman.

Swayze heads to ranch with wife and poodle. [FY]

Everyone knows what a couple of angry parents and Indian social activists think about Slumdog Millionaire's march on the Oscars. But if a five-person, man-on-the street sampling is to be believed, Mumbai wants a victory.

Steroid-peddling actor from The Wrestler arrested for...guess. [HuffPo]

When it comes to altering one's appearance, Photoshop has picked up where Denise Richards and Lil' Kim left off. Presenting: the heavily-altered publicity photos for the newest season of Dancing with the Stars.

Robert De Niro will be Jimmy Fallon's first guest—an unusually intimidating choice to ease first-night jitters, no matter how well their "Are you a pothead Fallon? Could you milk me?"-patter goes in rehearsal.