Comedian Sascha Baron Cohen's outrageous gay Austrian character Bruno recently made his own movie, in which he makes fun of the fashion industry. Curious about who got got? Fashion Week Daily has the answers.

Now that Mickey Rourke's date drama is resolved, our hopes for a spontaneous, surprising Oscars are all but dead. But in some parallel universe, viewers may yet get the awardscast we dream of:

Whatever intern is tasked with explaining current events to Barbara Walters failed miserably today, as she misunderstood the growing controversy about a perceived-to-be-racist Post cartoon in the most hilarious way possible.

· There's good news and bad news about this weekend's marathon of Oscar parties. The good news first: Nikki Finke has a sweepingly comprehensive list of those we expect you to crash. Godspeed!

Creepy adult "teeny boppers" wanted for TV, inquire within. [Nerve]

All the major Oscar categories are pretty much locked up. Slumdog, Winslet, Ledger, etc. So where will Oscar pools be won and lost? In the tiny, shitty categories. Let's attempt a lesser categories betting guide.

Sure, all but one of this year's Oscar-nominated actresses have done nude scenes during their career (there's still time, Viola Davis!), but the frequently-bare Kate Winslet is hoping that the topless buck stops here.

Snoop Dogg's historic appearance last year on Martha was thought to finally shatter the barrier between hip-hop icons and potato-mashing domestic heroism. Alas, as Ludacris discovered today, that was not change we can believe in.

It's been two years since silver-maned MPAA drum-beater Jack Valenti passed to the great ratings board in the sky, where he's been gleefully defending the afterlife's classification system. (Heaven: PG-13 for strong language, partial angel-nudity.)

As some mixed, early reviews leak out, the debate about Watchmen's fidelity to its source novel continues to rage. That's all well and good, but we just want to know about Billy Crudup's blue wang.

After seven years away and one epically hatey meltdown, Mel Gibson's big-screen comeback finally has a studio backer.

Look, it's the portrait of CBS boss Les Moonves and his wife Julie Chen that hangs in their den. It shows various hangers-on toasting the couple as Les is maybe getting a hand job? [NYT]

So who's still watching American Idol? Did you like that quick, nasty cutthroat semifinal elimination round yesterday as much as I did? It was so fast and bloody. Let's take a look at the mess.

Kate Moss is not happy: Do Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, fashion nobodies, know how many fashion gods they pissed off by cutting the line at a fashion ball?

Donald Trump can be amazing at spin, when he's not being a pig or sexist dinosaur. The latest example: when the real estate loudmouth masterfully tricked a Late Show audience into applauding his latest business bankruptcy.

J. Edgar Hoover's FBI investigated late movie-lobby chief Jack Valenti for homosexuality, the Washington Post reports. Interesting. But what about evidence ernest PBS liberal Bill Moyers requested similar probes?

Conan O'Brien's story seems more bitter each time he's asked about learning Jay Leno would precede his Tonight Show on NBC.

· You may have thought you knew what a hack director Joel Schumacher is. But until you've heard his grave (and maybe fabricated) casting miscalculations from Eric Nies, you only know half the story.

· Glockenspiel master (among other instruments) Andrew Bird plays the Orpheum. It's sold out, but that shouldn't stop you.

Finally, a Lost mystery that's tough but solvable: can you identify all the miniature marzipan characters that the Ace of Cakes team made to celebrate the serial's 100th episode?