[Lily Allen at In-N-Out Burger in Redondo Beach yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Today we have a songstress with a hairy stomach, an actor with an eating disorder, a self-conscious starlet, and a socialite who's secretly broke and selling off her jewels to stay afloat.

Blogs, Facebook, and Twitter were supposed to liberate famous people from old-media gatekeepers. But John Mayer, Courtney Love, and others are teaching us that public figures are terrible at shaping their own image.

The MPAA's "no homo" rule strikes again! Sascha Baron Cohen's new mockumentary Bruno, in which he terrorizes straight men with flagrant gayness, has earned an NC-17, partly because of a scene depicting buttsex.

Movies get directors, and they also get Matthew McConaughey. The Office actors just got rich, and fat people just got validated, in glorious reality show form.

This morning we bring news of the war between Nadya Suleman and Mexicans. Plus, the failing of Julia Roberts and a group of sad people in costume becomes our entertainment.

Today we have an actor hooking up two with not-so-lovely lasses, two actress friends who like to do coke together... a lot, a teen doin' it with a 50-year-old, and a flailing singer.

What do you call a film about a celebrity fashionista famous for gleefully manufacturing drama with other men? Other than The Marc Jacobs Chronicles, that is?

Everyone's a critic. Queen of the South, a movie about the world of Mexico's drug-running gangsters, has been dropped over fears of retribution by criminals who object to their cinematic portrayal

A LiveJournal user says the brilliant mind behind the crazed tweets of celebrity mom Dina Lohan is a 24-year-old Michigan man named Matt Cherette. Cherette, who's confessed, has a career in Hollywood awaiting him.

A fashion designer has sued wacky-mess rocker Courtney Love for libel on MySpace. Love's response? Going on a blabby Twitter rampage and accusing Lindsay Lohan of stealing drugs.

Either Lindsay Lohan's entire crazy family is really on Twitter, or the world's best comedy writers have taken to the medium. Here are Dina Lohan's Twitter tales of bad tea, insidious censorship, and "HATERS."

Candy Spelling has a book to sell. And a $150 million manor to sell. Both are good reasons for the widow of Hollywood megaproducer Aaron Spelling to be talking to 20/20.

Chopping Block gets chopped, J.J. Abrams gets extended, and Ricky Gervais' next film will be unlike anything he's ever done before except for The Office.

Today in cathartic speculation about the private lives of others: an "A-list hunk" smacked by a lady who's not a coke whore, an actor lying about his age, and a flirty TV news personality:

Oh, hey there, literati. Remember when that German factory manager took over Random House? Sad. But take heart: The director of Beverly Hills Cop IV is investing in the biz, too. Exciting!

On Tuesday's edition of Jimmy Fallon's late-night laff riot, he used a 'study' about Prague's 'Franz Kafka International Airport' to set up a Hudson River plane crash joke. Trouble is, The Onion made up that 'study.'

I think Motown is my least favorite of the Idol theme nights. The songs have all been sung too many times, they almost always sound dated, and it's racially embarrassing. Last night was no exception.

Everyone bought dogs and went to Atlantic City and lost tons of money this week. Also, Ryan faced more worries about Iraq. Depressing and funny, this episode.

[Real Housewife of New York Jill Zarin out with her daughter on Robertson Blvd in LA; image via WENN]