The extraterrestrials at Hulu have staged another coup in their bid to take over television. Disney has struck up a deal with the online video site, meaning we get ABC shows now.

[Troubled actress Lindley Lorimer in Maui, Hawaii today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

That's how you do Idol! I mean, that's how you do it. Manufacture "surprises" so people will keep watching a full hour of television that should only take five minutes. Did your jaw drop?

Hah, oh dear. It seems that Paula Abdul, cat-litter-mouthed judge of American Idol singers, was duped by Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno character in his new film. And she still doesn't know it.

Deal or No Deal makes, um, a new deal. Americans poach from the French who poached from the Americans. Bad news for a Sister, and good news for Bruce Willis.

Every political résumé polished and fluffed. But why is San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, running for California's governorship, stretching the truth about his actress wife's show-biz career?

[Brad Pitt films a Japanese commercial for a bank in New York; image via Splash]

Today we have a young actress is who is just drunk all the time, a mad old actress who ruined a Picasso in a violent rage, and an eating disorder.

Capping the disaster that is the Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt wedding, the plastic Hills couple had to wear oh-so-romantic face masks during their Cabo San Lucas "pre honeymoon."

[Sad old Jennifer Aniston leaving her New York hotel to go film "The Baster"; image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Top 5! Rat Pack croony swoony songs! What a magical combination. Oddly, I don't mean that entirely sarcastically. There was some good sing-sangin' on Idol last night, mostly from my long-term two favorites.

News from the Sex and the City front, a new Disney comedy sounds annoying (and already done), swine flu does its worst damage yet, and another actor picks up a trident.

[Rap singing artist Asher Roth in Los Angeles today; image via Splash]

Today we have a celebrity's wife who is a secret, exclusive lesbian, an actor who avoided a DUI by pimping out his lady friend, and an actress with terrible taste in home decor.

Mel Gibson brought composer Oksana Grigorieva to the debut of the latest X-Men movie Tuesday night, effectively confirming he's been sleeping with the Russian composer and Timothy Dalton ex. (Larger picture after the jump.)

While she seems so nice in her movies, the real Julia Roberts works blue. At Sunday's Lincoln Center tribute to Tom Hanks the actress spoke last, and boy did she say fuck a lot.

Now is the perfect time to make movies about the economy, because it's all anyone can talk about, so they must want to watch it, too. Specifically, someone should really do a Wall Street sequel.

Go tell Isabella Rossellini that we've found the saddest music in the world. It's the sound of a dozen idiots chirping on The Hills. Last night, there was bible study. On The Hills. Religion!

Gossip Girl!! What did you doooo??? Last night's episode definitely stepped on some toes, what with its swift plotting and actual things happening. Josh Schizzy must be pissed, yo. Queller, was this your doing?

Supreme Court reverses the "one-free-expletive" on live TV ruling; no more fucks at awards shows.