The actress needs to learn how to be people. So, she went to prom! Our favorite black person is growing up, and growing up means going to priggity-prom, y'all. In a wee pink dress.

NBC went and sold the most blatant product placement in TV history in its show Chuck, and what do you know, it worked! Not for Chuck; that shit is getting canceled. But for Subway, yes!

Today we have a prudish girlfriend of an actor, a celebrity couple that has to hide their coke problem from their kid, a rude actress at a movie theater, and a nasty breakup.

Jay Leno's rep says it looks like dehydration sent the Tonight Show host to the hospital last week. But Leno prefers to process his trauma by mocking Conan O'Brien and Ben Silverman.

Are you excited for Barack Obama's network-bankrupting fourth prime time national TV address, in honor of his 100 days of Presidenting? Fox isn't! They will be playing their regular Wednesday programming.

At the Tribeca screening of wretched-sounding horror flick Tell-Tale, some lady in the back started shrieking, interrupting the screening and angering an agent. Why was the rude lady yelling? Her husband was having a seizure.

News from sparkly TV shows about music, plus sparkly movies about gays. The British really like our sad American TV shows, while Maria Bello likes to fire people. Plus, Elmore Leonard.

Beyoncé has stomped over the land and pillaged and burned, and we are all beholden to her now. Not even Iron Man and a singing, dancing teenager can stop her. We wish you good luck.

Today we have a drunken signer, a cheating British crooner, and a bunch of things about tweens—drunk ones, and miserly ones, and ones with coke problems. Plus, a bad mom.

Masked men break into a home in Spain, tie up a woman, take her cash and jewelry. They start ransacking the bedrooms. Wait, who is that in the picture?

Golden Girls star Bea Arthur, née Bernice Frankel, died at home in Los Angeles at the age of 86 today. She passed away surrounded by family members. She will be loudly mourned by the gays.

Oh, hello. You wanted to see a picture of disgraced Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich standing in a fake forest with Heidi and Spencer from The Hills, right? Oh good, because we have one.

Famous actor Kevin Spacey is going to prison! To... interview criminal lobbyist Jack Abramoff. For an upcoming film. A film that sounds just weird.

What happens after The Real World? Y'know, like, before you go on one of the Challenges? Well, if you're Scott from the recent Brooklyn iteration, you advertise Snuggies like they're goin' outta style. (They are.)

Meryl gets recognition, yet again. Stephen Dorff! Remember him? Yeah, me too. And I sat through all of S.F.W. Plus news of good people that I like.

We warned you this would happen. On last night's episode of 30 Rock, actor Tracy Morgan's real life crazies were spliced in with fictional ones. Because life is art!

Today we have only two blind items, one about a gay actor who is a gay person, the other about an actor who has a nasty old Prince Albert.

The father of nine-year-old Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali will not be charged with any crime for allegedly trying to sell her to undercover reporters for $300,000. Indian police couldn't track down the reporters.

Lauren Conrad's most recent and, let's face it, quite possibly last appearance on the Late Show was an odd cocktail of passive-aggressive barbs and ribald, lusty commentary from host David Letterman.

The Tonight Show is a no-show tonight. Host Jay Leno has checked himself into the hospital, and NBC is airing a rerun instead of the planned lineup featuring actor Ryan Reynolds.