Ha. Brad Grey, the forever-head of Paramount Pictures, is divorcing his wife of 25 years, Jill. The ex-missus just signed the papers and, out of either amity or cruel spite, she added a smiley face.

NBC has announced its fall TV schedule, and dropped in an immensely disappointing piece of news: the 30 Rock season premiere date is TBA. They say maybe winter; it's currently May.

The Hills has fallen victim to the recession. Yes, a single job loss has swept the dusty mounds, and, presumably, has blown over the actual hills as well. We weep for Handbags, deprived of employ.

Patrick Swayze is alive and well, his spokesman has confirmed. How did false reports of his passing consume the internet for several hours today? Through the false rumor's vehicle of choice: Twitter.

An action yarn complete with ham-slamming fisticuffs and wittily bantered-about gun play, a sexy/funny love interest (Rachel McAdams), and a door hoofening sidekick (Jude Law's Watson). While some (including us) may have been hoping for something darker and more ruminative, something in the vein of From Hell (but better), we should have known better based on Ritchie's lock stocking oeuvre. Ah well.

Graduation is kind of the most anticlimactic day of high school. There it is just sorta... there. You don't feel different, you just feel bored and pandered to. At least I did last night.

A story went around a while back that Paramount flubbed the catering at its Star Trek premiere , sending out for Whole Foods hummus instead. Not true, the studio says. Who can afford Whole Foods anymore?

Just kidding. Today we have more news from the TV upfronts, plus movie word from sunny, splashy, ridiculous Cannes.

Today we have an actor who has his pot smuggled in, a coked out star doing dangerous diving tricks, a coked out actress who was almost caught in Cannes, and a sad baby lady.

Italian actress Monica Bellucci, right, and French actress Sophie Marceau, left, walk the red carpet at the screening of a film 'Ne te retourne pas' (Don't Look Back), during the Cannes Film Festival.

TV upfronts are happening across the land, and there were some surprises. Some shows were canceled, others renewed. The circle of life, of sowing and reaping, continues.

Recently two films have shocked the world with graphic depictions of violence followed by acts of sex: Bob Dylan's Beyond Here Lies Nothing and Lars Von Trier's Antichrist. Coincidence or zeitgeist? You decide.

Religion on Earth just slightly trumped religion in space this weekend, though that should not, we repeat not, encourage any Scientologists that they're gaining traction.

Last week we made a joke that Jamie Foxx should play Frank Sinatra in Martin Scorsese's upcoming biopic about the singer. Well, now Brit tabloids are making the same joke, except they call it "reporting."

Today we have a blind item bonanza, with stories about Pakistani political officials, cheating TV stars, drugged out actors, and a very fertile guest star.

Times TV reporter Bill Carter's profile on NBC co-chairman and Executive Bong Smoker Ben Silverman ran today. To put it lightly: Carter takes Silverman by the collar, beats him, and stuffs him in a locker.

Last night's Will Ferrell-hosted SNL season closer was a perfect freak-storm of cameos (Tom Hanks, Anne Hathaway, Norm McDonald, Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler) and nostalgia. The play-by-play, post-jump.

["Gossip Girl" Leighton Meester films "The Roommates" with Minka Kelly from "Friday Night Lights" in Los Angeles; image via Splash]

So Housewives wasn't the only thing that ended last night. The rest of comedy did too. No more 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation, or The Office until autumn. Let's see where things were left.

Last night was Part Two of The War of the Grosses, alternately titled the Real Housewives of New York City reunion special. It was: ladies yelling in an echoing room while a gay dude sighed.