Last night millions of American Idol fans tuned in to watch the show's season finale. But you know who didn't?—-Clay Aiken, who basically trashed everything about Idol today on the subscription-only message board of his website, going so far as to say Adam Lambert made his ears bleed!

Jennifer Steinhauer is the L.A. Bureau chief for the New York Times. Her husband is Times television reporter Ed Wyatt. Steinhauer's having a book party in LA tonight for her new novel, Beverly Hills Adjacent. The location of the party: the home of Sony Pictures CEO Michael Lynton. What?

Finally video footage of late night host Jimmy Kimmel's evisceration of ABC at their own goddamned upfronts has surfaced. And, surprise surprise? It's really not all that controversial—mostly funny jokes and inside-baseball industry hoo-haw, thrown in because it was supposed to be a closed audience. So what's the fuss?

ABC's marketing department is so hardcore that they will get Mickey Mouse to hand out cigarettes to children if that's what it takes to get people to watch their crappy shows!

There's much hissing about American Idol's swandiving numbers—lowest finale ever! down 10% from last year, which was already low!—but in this modern world, it's really nothing to worry about. (Or, if you hate Idol, to get excited about). Idol is still winning where it counts.

Well, that's it. After all this tumbling and mumbling and Kara bumbling, the eighth and most bespangled season of American Idol yet has come to a screeching, crooning end. How'd it end for you? Are you satisfied? Surprised? Gassy? To work through all these emotions and sensations, let's discuss.

Oh, so much happens today. A new 1990s begins on The CW. Another wonderful movie about smart alec animals lurches into fruition. TNT makes its big, crime-ridden power play. The Real World will soon date rape you. And the clouds of war gather and loom.

Today we have a model dissed for her cultish religions, a gallant actor who cleaned up his lady friend's puke, and a reality star who has time has just about come to an end.

The New York Times has a massive piece in this week's Sunday Magazine by Lynn Hirschberg on Conan O'Brien and the changes taking place at NBC as O'Brien prepares to take over as host of the Tonight Show on June 1, while Leno moves into the nightly 10pm slot.

Last month NBC's Chuck had that Subway sandwich product placement that was so laughably flagrant we thought, "This will surely hurt the credibility of NBC's 'Chuck!'" How young and naive we were. Turns out that that Subway deal is literally the only reason that Chuck still exists:

Lars von Trier's ball-banging, blood-coming horror flick Antichrist has been picked up by an American distributor at Cannes. IFC Films will bring the America-hating filmmaker's crazy Willem Dafoe movie to the people he hates. This is the new cinematic diplomacy! Hope and change and bloody penises and all. [IndieWire]

Oh Ryan, you master of the turn of phrase. Clever little frosted minx. I'm gonna miss you when they pack you back up into your E! radio locker and I don't get any of you until next January. Sigh. The last competition night of the year! It was... just aight.

While many people were happy to hear Monday that a prestigious Martin Luther King movie was in the works, two of the civil rights leader's children weren't so pleased. Martin Luther King III and Bernice King claim that their brother, Dexter King, sold their father's life rights without consulting them.

You guys? I think I have to confess something here right at the start. No offense to my beloved O.C. harpies and my bankable New York climbers, but the New Jersey broads might be my favorite of all the Housewives.

I sincerely hope you watched the premiere of Glee last night. Fox's new funny/sad series about a high school glee club was spunky, precocious, and sincere—normally things that are annoying. And yet, somehow on this show, they aren't at all.

Today we have some bad news about Footloose, some good news about The Fighter, and some unexpected surprises from old friends.

[Whitney Port, from "The City", throws the first pitch at a Dodgers game last night; image via INF]

Today we have a rockstar with fucked up eyeballs, our drugged out actress from yesterday who is also hooking for powder, and an actor jealous of his successful wife.

Gawker's old pal Jimmy Kimmel had what the Times' Dave Itzkoff termed as a "'Jerry Maguire'-like moment" while delivering an address to potential advertisers at ABC's upfront presentation on Tuesday, and it was simply awesome.