News from Cannes and from Mickey Rourke. A strange movie gets strange casting, terrible TV shows are picked up, and New York will collapse on October 16th.

Sad lifejoke Lindsay Lohan was once, you may remember, a working actress. She starred in films such as The Parent Trap and the one about the schizophrenic peg-legged stripper. Those days might be back.

Today we have a young starlet doing cocaine (surprise!), a little blind item triptych about two actors and a former beauty queen, and a TV star with deep dark secret.

About an hour ago a tip came in featuring the following subject line: "Jessica Alba Visits Yale Secret Society, Pictures Leaked!" Whoa! The "Wolf's Head Society?!" Oh hell yes! Let's take a look, shall we?

Sony Pictures employees can now waste their time on MySpace again, thanks to Valleywag. (You're welcome.) Here's the tale, from inside Sony's Internet operations, of how our story got the ban lifted.

A tipster tells us that when Sony employees in L.A. try to log onto MySpace, "it directs you to google.com." Bizarrely, Sony's IT staff is saying it's MySpace's fault.

Yesterday we learned that Marty Scorsese is directing a Frank Sinatra biopic and all of New Jersey fell over dead with joy. Today we wonder: Who's gonna be in the damn thing?

Have you ever had an angel burp on you? Ever felt the soothing hand of God as He gives you a purple nurple? If not, then you didn't watch American Idol last night.

Ugh. The story of the Slumdog Millionaire kids just keeps getting sadder. Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, who played Dev Patel's character as a little boy, just had his shanty house bulldozed by the government.

I am of course referring to Kristin Cavallari, Lauren Conrad's arch nemesis. Now that LC is leaving the reality show she built with meek facial expressions, MTV has tapped the villainess to do 10 episodes.

[The actress on the set of her new film "Hesher" in Los Angeles; image via INF]

Today we have a nasty old actor who's been having 'em young, a drugged out actor who peed on everything, and a secret West Hollywood sex tape that's really raunchy.

According to Nikki Finke, this "performance" was recorded in 2008 at the Aspen Youth Experience Celeb Ski (Wasn't this part of Dumb and Dumber's plot line?). The video was taken by Rob Morrow and features the harmonica skills of Fisher Stevens, both veterans of this event, which prompts one to wonder...What the hell did Ben Silverman do to piss off Rob Morrow and/or Fisher Stevens to compel one, or both of them, to release this video?

Oh my goodness, it really must be Italian Appreciation Day. Marty Scorsese, beloved maker of mob movies, has signed on to direct a biopic of one Francis Albert Sinatra.

Remember hairdo'd Malcom Gladwell's pop philosophy bestseller Blink? It was all about the power of the mind or something, and now they're making a bizarre-sounding movie out of it. Starring the increasingly bizarre Al Pacino.

Three is a number steeped in magic and myth—the three fates spinning our doom, the three versions of Jesus (dad, son, creepy ghost), the three bears. And now, the three Idol men. Heroes all.

We took that turn! Whistling through tunnels, sailing o'er the bridge. We blinked our eyes, suddenly out of the city, in a new, strange place that the Indians named New Jersey, a thousand years ago.

[Sean Puffy Piddy Combs films the movie "Take Him to the Greek" in LA; image via INF]

Madeline Stowe is back on the map, folks! So are Guy Pearce and Miranda Otto, noted comedians. Nicole Kidman is retreating into the shadows, and iCarly fans have emerged from them.

Today we have a Correspondents Dinner hook up, an actor who's embarrassed about being short, and a big couple that's breaking up their business arrangement.