Sure, sure, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince raked in a gazillion dollars this weekend. But who are these people who went to Ice Age? Our guess: creationist parents who wanted their kids to watch a nature documentary.

A peacocked network has been brutalized by the economy. Meanwhile, a Burbank studio stores away a billion dollars in their water tower. And back at the ranch, robots are learning how to come together, fight evil, eat, pray, and love.

So Brüno dropped a perilous 73% in ticket sales this weekend, basically meaning that America has forgotten about Sacha Baron Cohen's Austrian fashion reporter (who's gay!!!!) alter ego. Well, one American hasn't. That brain-damaged lady is still suing.

Today we have a young actress with interesting job interview techniques, a derelict ad exec, a secretly gay "princeling", a band of lady-slayin' brothers, a disrespectful husband, and another actress who interviews for jobs in a... physical way.

A grassroots rebellion has seized Twitter in an effort to save Paula's slot on the Idol's judges panel. Will the Twitterverse switch their avatars from a Iran-protest green to a sparkly rainbows for Paula?

American Idol charming kook Paula Abdul has not, we repeat, NOT received a contract for next season, which starts shooting in, um, three weeks. Is it the end of television? Will FOX fold? It's Armageddon!

If they only had a heart. Upon seeing this week's spine-tingling video of Michael Jackson's '84 Pepsi ad accident, Pepsi and vid director Bob Giraldi don't give a shit. The international moment of dead pop star respect is officially finito.

Do you feel that? Those are George Carlin's acid tears falling from heaven. There are some mainstays on the millionaire funny-man list. But there is one depressing shocker. Can you guess who?

Meet Barbara Lavandeira, or, as she's known online, PerezHilton.com. She's actually pretty normal, when not pretending to be her brother.

A major challenge in Harry Potter 6 is that the teenage wizard had the ability to get a boner. So how did the kid-friendly franchise deal with the prickly issue of teenage sexuality? Splendidly! But perhaps in an unintended direction.

We finally know how much aspiring Hollywood mogul Jay Penske has agreed to pay industry blogger Nikki Finke: according to the NYT's David Carr: $400,000 a year for the next eight years. Pretty good money, but not $14 million.

It's an open secret that Perez Hilton can't be bothered to blog all day long anymore. But for some reason he's never copped to using ghost writers. Until now.

Here is a still from the actor's upcoming film Prince of Persia, which is based on an old computer game. Not much to say here other than hey, here is a ridiculous thing. Reese, any comments? [via EW]

Dumbledore could (and should) buy out the American auto industry. Madonna's dry thrusting leads to tragedy. Google Images will explode within the next few hours. And everyone is mean to the writers!

Today we have an old lady who wanted a bunch of young mens at her party, an NBA wife who's the Leona Helmsley of her house, and a married actor sleeping with a minor actress.

Mischa Barton was supposed to be in New York tonight to attend the premiere her of her new movie, Homecoming, which was directed by Morgan Freeman. However, she won't be attending after cops were called to her home last night.

In the the upcoming film Big Fan, comedian Patton Oswalt makes his dramatic-lead star-turn as an obsessive sports fan whose chance encounter with his hero unexpectedly ends in violence. Does that sound bad? The trailer looks surprisingly good!

Well, Jay Penske is assembling quite a stable at his burgeoning online media company; first he bought Nikki Finke, Winchellian Hollywood blogger, now he's bringing on Bonnie Fuller, the notorious diva celeb-mag editor. Watch for sparks.

So now that the Potter kids are on top, it's likely that news about our favorite over-boiled sex pot Megan Fox will take a backseat to the prim Emma Watson. And that's sad.

We all know that LA Project Runway is going to suck on Lifetime, but we'll probably watch it anyway. But what about this Models of the Runway about the, uh, models from Runway? It'll sort of be Rashomon, won't it.