We all know that frenetic tabloid sex oracle Andrea Peyser is strongly opposed to hussies, as well as sluts. But how does she feel about loose lying whores who cry rape as a way to cover up for their own loose, whorish behavior, and maybe they should have just never opened their legs for every man who says hello? Today, she clarifies her stance on this important matter.

Another day, another amateur video of a bunch of NYPD officers brutally beating some guy in the Bronx as he lays helpless on the ground, and then pepper spraying (or threatening to) the bystander who was filming said beating. The officers in the video have been stripped of their badges and are being investigated by the DA.

No this is not a plot summary from the latest episode of Cold Case, but it might as well be: a local Republican councilman in Bridgewater Borough, Pennsylvania was arrested for the long-ago murder of 23-year-old Catherine Janet Walsh, who was found bound and strangled at home in her bed in 1979. Police finally cracked the case after receiving money through a federal grant program that allowed them to tie DNA evidence from the crime scene to Hopkins, who admits that Walsh had been his lover but denies that he is the murderer. The neighbors are predictably shocked, because Hopkins sure didn't seem like a raging psychopath. He even said hello to them all the time, just like a regular old non-murderer.

To the Windy City, where a man's painful dilemma may redeem itself by serving as a teaching experience for us all. The Chicago Tribune reports the harrowing nightmare of friendship gone awry: "A 24-year-old man is hospitalized after being stabbed outside of a Wrigleyville dance bar early this morning by a man who seemingly was about to give the victim a hug."

Last week, NYC Fox News anchor Greg Kelly, the son of NYPD commissioner Ray Kelly, was accused of rape by a woman who said that he, you know, raped her in her office following a night of drinking. Now, anonymous police sources tell the city's least trustworthy tabloid that Kelly may be innocent.

Don't read this if you're really hungover, or are easily grossed out, or want to eat oysters ever again. I've never really cared for them which is why I'm comfortable writing this. OK, warning over.

The Huffington Post is reporting that four more of Rupert Murdoch's employees have been arrested. The current and former reporters for The Sun are suspected of bribing the police — and yes, one of the officers in question is also in custody.

It's been eight months since we exposed Silk Road, the underground online marketplace where you can anonymously buy any drug imaginable. After our article, a couple U.S. senators declared war on Silk Road. But it hasn't been shut down. It's bigger than ever, and now you can buy a Glock with your LSD.

Here in America, our jails are full of old people, and it's costing us a ton of money to keep them in there. Huh. Now there is a problem which certainly could not have been foreseen by craven "Law and order" politicians prosecuting a useless "War on Drugs" for the sake of public popularity, nor by the simplistic bloodthirsty voters who repeatedly elected them in order to satisfy a primal hatred of "the other." Anyhow, we have a solution: let the old people out of jail.

Greg Kelly—43-year-old Good Day New York anchor, former Fox News contributor, and son of NYPD commissioner Ray Kelly—has been accused of raping a younger woman in New York. The woman told the New York Times that the rape occurred in her office at a Manhattan law firm, after the pair had been drinking. The younger Kelly "strenuously denies any wrongdoing." To avoid conflicts, the NYPD turned the investigation over to the Manhattan District Attorney. Good Day New York is the morning news show of New York Fox affiliate Fox 5.

Well, this is certainly interesting: Google's CEO Larry Page knew all about ads his company ran for an illegal Mexican drug ring run by a convicted con artist and described in detail to Google executives. But the advertisements for illicit steroids were allowed to continue because, hey, more revenue for Google.

Let's get one thing clear: Randye Hoder, a mom, is no narc. She is such a non-narc that she wrote an entire column in the New York Times' parenting blog about how she would never narc, no matter what her 14 year-old son Nathaniel (who has her husband's last name, Wartzman) tells her.

Police officers in Monterey Park, Calif., shot and killed a man in the parking lot of a Carl's Jr. yesterday morning, and witnesses caught it on video. According to the New York Daily News, the man, who was wearing a dark hoodie, was breaking windows inside the restaurant. The video shows him coming out into the parking lot carrying what looks like a shovel or large hammer. The cops appear to taser him, which has no effect. When he seems to rear up to swing the object in his hand—but before swinging it—the two officers fire off ten shots.

Jake Burris, campaign manager for Arkansas 3rd District congressional candidate Ken Aden, returned home with his family last night and found their cat lying dead on the front porch with "LIBERAL"scrawled across its side. The cat, according to Aden's campaign, "had one side of its head bashed in to the point the cat's eyeball was barely hanging from its socket." You can view the somewhat disturbing photo here. (You can't make out the bashed-in head or danging eyeball, fortunately.)

It seems Nigel "Spud" Ely got a little carried away while working in Iraq in 2003. The Englishman somehow got a hold of a fragment of a toppled statue of Saddam Hussein. That piece just happened to be a buttock. A picture accompanying the article provides little help with determining whether it was the left or right buttock, or even whether or not it is a buttock.

By far the most surprising thing about the news that four people have been arrested by the FBI in connection with a 72-page indictment handed down on file-sharing site Megaupload (and its streaming-video sister Megavideo) was learning that rap producer and Alicia Keys husband Swizz Beatz is the company's CEO. Otherwise, well, they definitely saw this coming, right? Sure, it's little bit odd to hear the government describe the site where you watched most of season four of Friends while you were sick last week as a "a worldwide criminal organization whose members engaged in criminal copyright infringement and money laundering on a massive scale." But we've always got Videobb. [WSJ, image via AP]

On Tuesday afternoon, on a hiking trail in Hollywood Hills, a pair of female dogwalkers stumbled across the severed head of a middle-aged man. Two of their dogs had been playing with a plastic bag, they told the LAPD. Inside was a human head.

Yesterday we heard about Young Lee, the co-founder of frozen gruel with Fruity Pebbles on top yogurt chain Pinkberry, who allegedly beat the crap out of a homeless man with a tire iron after the homeless man showed him his "sexually explicit" tattoo. Now we finally know what the tattoo is.

Young Lee, the co-owner and co-founder of shockingly popular frozen yogurt-ish dessert chain Pinkberry, has been accused of chasing down a homeless man and beating him with a tire iron. But why?

Last week, a California man attempted to murder his wife in the most barbaric way possible: by poisoning her Rice Krispies with, of all things, Goof Off. Because he used the most obviously toxic-smelling household product and apparently filled the bowl with it, his wife of course noticed she was eating poison and went to the hospital. Fernando Porras, the husband, did not become a suspect until he left hospital grounds for a cigarette and never retuned. He is currently being held on $1 million bail.